why my children are going to give me a heart attack ...

Yesterday morning, when I was trying to go to the bathroom ALONE, Dizzle and Doodle stormed in and declared that they needed to brush their teeth because the dentist told them to. Funny? We went to the dentist in May and you are just getting the memo now?

I looked at them and said, "Can't you see that I am going to the bathroom? Fine. Whatever. Go brush your teeth. Just get out of here." When I finished, I heard the girls in their bathroom down the hall. I told them to brush and then come downstairs as soon as they were done. And then I left. I went downstairs, sat down and tried to finish my coffee.

About two minutes later, I hear ear-piercing screams. Dizzle is yelling, "MOM! COME HERE! HURRY! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" All I can think is someone is dead. They have found a razor and are bleeding to death or they drank all the toilet cleaner. I jump up and sprint up the stairs. When I get there both girls are crying and screaming. I look at Dizzle. And yell (so they can hear me over their screams), "What's wrong?"

"Doodle can't turn off the sink! She might waste water!"

Wait? What? Here I am thinking you are on the verge of death and you are just afraid that you're not being Eco-friendly? Seriously?

Yes, this is my life. Be jealous. Very jealous.