a fistful of fun ...

Maybe she's just being rebellious. Maybe she's suddenly anti-nap. Maybe this is typical two-year old behavior.

Whatever the case, Doodle has picked up an absolutely FANTASTIC habit this week. What is it, you ask? Well, just a little something I call "a fistful of fun."

Or maybe it should be referred to as "a fistful of feces."

Yes, that's right. On two separate occasions, Doodle has shoved her fist into her diaper and emerged with a handful of poop. Poop, which is then splattered on the baby gate and the door frame and her clothing. Oh, yeah and her hair and her face. One time, she even went as far as to remove her diaper and throw it in the hallway, creating yet another mess to clean up. Like I said, it's FANTASTIC!

And she just thinks it's funny. That kid has such a sense of humor.

so you want number 3?

I am a slacker. Well, at least a "blog" slacker. And a "get back to work" slacker. And a "make a real effort to lose the baby weight" slacker. You see, Dilly is going to be two months on Saturday and 90% of the time, I am trapped in my house. And the other 10%, you ask? Well, that 10% consists of the one (or two) activity that is scheduled each day. And by scheduled I mean, we either pay for it (school and gymnastics) or I feel really guilty if I miss it (my daily run). Other that that, I am having a hard time getting anywhere (read: motivated to get anywhere).

Having three kids is tiring. Nursing is tiring. Not sleeping is tiring. And to be completely honest, most of the time I am afraid that I am not going to be able to handle all three of them at once if we leave the house. I am just not mentally on my game. I'm a pretty good faker, but I don't really feel on top of it. And in those rare moments when I do, I usually feel like someone is getting neglected. Usually Dilly, for two reasons. One, since she can't yell at me to look at her. And two, she probably won't remember these early days, so she can't hold it against me.

I know that it will get better. But at this moment, I know why so many people who want big families stop at three. It's because when you have two, you think it's a piece of cake and adding one, two or three more can't be that much harder. But then that third one arrives and you realize how completely wrong you were. I love my kids to death, but three against one is never a fair fight.

how you amaze me ...

Dear Doodle,

Yesterday was your second birthday (and when I ask you how old you are, you always reply, "THREE DAYS!") Anyway, when I was thinking how to best summarize the last year I kept coming back to how you continually amaze me.

You see, when I was pregnant with you, I always thought that everything was going to be exactly the same way as it was with your older sister. And I couldn't have been more wrong. Somehow, despite my best efforts to raise all of you the same way, you are so very different from Dizzle, and I'm almost positive that Dilly won't be like you either.

And most days, your differences (and occasionally your similarities) amaze me.

You amaze me with your eyes. They are the bluest, blue I have ever seen.

You amaze me with your smile. Sure, it's the cheesiest grin around, but when you flash it, I can't help but to smile too.

You amaze me with your ingenuity. You are amazingly crafty. When something is out of your reach, you can always figure out a way to get it. Whether it be with your cuteness or by dumping out your toy bin, flipping it over and standing on it.

You amaze me with your determination. Or stubbornness, depending on the day. I have never met someone who will fight harder for what they want. Even if that leads to me pinning you down with my entire body weight so that I can put your diaper on ... you really want to be potty-trained, don't you?

You amaze me with your vocabulary. You talk so much more than I ever expected you to at your age. Oh, and the things that come out of your mouth, like yelling, "I want chicken nuggets and fries," EVERY TIME we pass a McDonald's. And if I can't understand what you are saying, you somehow manage to get your point across.

You amaze me with your strength. Physical, that is. You are freakishly strong. Good for your future athletic endeavors. Bad for me when you put up a fight.

You amaze me with your palate. You will eat (or at least try) anything. More often than not, you would rather eat my food than your own. Even if I am eating chicken wings drenched in hot sauce.

You amaze me with your affection. You share your love with everyone. Hugs and very wet kisses are your thing. And no one gets your love more than Dilly. I am convinced that if I let you, you would cover her with kisses (and drool) 24/7.

You amaze me just by being you. Sure, I never imagined you'd be the way you are, but I wouldn't change a single thing.

Doodle, you are an amazing person who helps give my life meaning. I love you even when you are at your best and I love you when you are at your worst. I love you when you make me laugh and I love you when you make me cry. I love you more than you will ever know.

Happy Birthday Baby!

three days ...

Next Sunday, Doodle will be two. Last year, we celebrated with a big pasta dinner the night before my marathon. This year, things will be a little more kid-friendly. We are going to celebrate with a party at CORE and lots of cake! Doodle is crazy excited. Recently, we started asking her about her birthday and this is what she said each and every time ...

Me: When is your birthday?

Doodle: Three days.

Me: How old are you going to be?

Doodle: Three days.

Me: Where is your party going to be?

Doodle: Three days at Cora's. I wear party hat?

So, as you can tell, Doodle probably doesn't have the best grasp of time. But at least she gets that it's her birthday and she gets to wear a pointy little hat ... in three days.

my tiny baby ...

So, remember about five weeks ago when I delivered my third child? And do you also remember how she was by far the tiniest child I had ever brought into this world?

Well, not anymore.

As of this morning, Dilly weighed 9 lbs, 13 oz and measured 22", which is bigger than both Dizzle and Doodle at the same age. Somehow, she gained three and a half pounds in the last 33 days and I am beginning to suspect that she is directly benefiting from the 8,000 brownies I have eaten in the last five weeks. Apparently, both of our waistlines are expanding.

So, I have a message for you, Dilly.

If you intend on continuing to eat like you have been, then you better develop a love of running. Because it is the only thing that will save you ... (that goes for you too, Dizzle and Doodle).

we've been trapped for two weeks ...

So, things have been kind of sucky around here recently. Sure, we have our moments of laughter and such, but overall the last two weeks have been rough. It started last Monday when Dizzle and Doodle were diagnosed with the flu. That's right, they got the flu with a three week old in the house. FANTASTIC! So, happy I skipped those flu shots this year.

Then, right around the same time Doodle started having mini freak outs at night (I'm assuming because of the move) where she screams for J or me until we come get her and put her back in bed. Sometimes this happens once, or like the other night when I was alone with the girls, four times. Add this to the nighttime feedings that Dilly is requesting, and well, you can see, I'm not getting much sleep.

At least last week, I was able to run on the treadmill and even got my long run in on Saturday, but then Sunday bitch slapped me with a fever and the chills and I still haven't recovered (I'm praying to be up for a long run this weekend). Oh yeah, then it snowed. And J left on a business trip. So I have been trapped (sick) in my house with three very needy children. Needless to say, I'm not at my best right now.

So, really, what I am getting at is ... does anyone know how to fast forward time about three weeks to help me get over this hump?