Monday, April 16, 2012

Missing: Run Love

I'll admit it.

Lately, I haven't been feeling the run.

I will happily swim and bike all day, but when run comes knocking on my door, I look for a place to hide, hoping he won't realize that I'm at home.

And the thing is, I know exactly why.
  • I've cut my weekly mileage in half from last fall. For me, running less has made me feel like less of a runner. I doubt my speed. I doubt my endurance. I know I shouldn't question either of these things, but I do. I'm human. It happens.
  • My run group has become wicked fast. Last fall, when we were all marathon training, we were all similarly paced. During my hiatus from the group during 70.3 training, everyone drank rocket fuel and took off. Their easy pace is almost my race pace and I feel like I'm sucking wind every time I run with them. It's rather defeating.
  • I'm kind of in love with being a triathlete. I want to swim and bike and strength train, in addition to my running. And the only way to fit that all in is to run less than I am accustomed to. My goals are changing, which is fine. I'm just having a hard time keeping that in mind when I'm in my peer group.

With that said, eventually, I give in and lace up my sneakers, but I can't seem to find my "Run Love." Instead, I am filled with "Run Tolerance" just counting down the minutes and miles until I am done.

And although, I quite enjoyed joining my sister, Beans, for her first four miler ever this weekend, my missing run mojo does not bode well for Saturday, when I am scheduled to run the Blue Ridge Half Marathon.
Four miles done. So proud of her.

13.1 miles of hills. 2500+ ft of elevation change. And one monster climb over the first 4 miles of the race.


Insanity.

An insanity that I have not prepared for.

Over the last five months, I have done nothing but focus on Ironman 70.3 Texas, which was pancake flat. I don't even remember the last time I looked at a hill, nevertheless ran one. Perhaps I am setting myself up for failure. Or maybe, just maybe, this race will be so absurd that it can't help but re-inspire my running mojo.

I'm not really sure.

But either way, I'm going to keep putting one foot in front of the other until I find my "Run Love" again. I know it's out there. Somewhere ...

16 comments:

BabyWeightMyFatAss said...

I think it's hiding out with my running love as well. Maybe they are playing cards somewhere? Anyways good luck with that race this weekend!

Jill said...

Arent you so glad you're Tri'ing! It's so great...cycling rocks, swimming rocks...why does the run have to be last in the tri?

Running Ricig said...

I think I need some rocket fuel!

fancy nancy said...

You'll find that rocket fuel deep inside! You're in amazing shape...you can do it!!

My Daily Journey to Share said...

I think its awesome your doing what you are doing! I just ran my 2nd half marathon yesterday an its funny that during the last part of this race I was telling myself I was never putting myself through it again but today Im planning my next one! You will do great and find your running joy! Erica

Karen said...

I have no doubt, come race day, you will find your run love! side note - that is the craziest elevation chart I have seen for a race. At least the big azz hill is in the beginning instead of the end.

Robin said...

Try not to think about it too much. Your run mojo will probably come back with your race and just the race atmosphere. Hang in there...that run mojo will be back before you know it!

Lauren {sweat junkie} said...

Hey Tonia! I know I am basically a complete stranger (but I am on Team Tough Chik so we are "teammates", right?)...I am running the Blue Ridge Half too so if you would like to run together (or just try to...feel free to take off), I'd love to! My time last year was 2:14...I'm a little speedier on flat ground this year but I haven't been as diligent with my hill training so who knows what my time will be this year! Anyways, I won't be offended at all if you say no and/or if you are already running w/ someone. And just FYI, I take occasional walking breaks going up the mountain! Let me know if you are interested!

runningsurvivor said...

You can do it sweetie...I haven't run a lot of hills either and I know it's something I need to add in to my running resume'...good luck on your half but do try to have fun with it...

runningsurvivor said...

oh by the way following your lovely blog now..feel free to follow back if you'd like sweetie

abbi said...

Good luck, I bet the race will bring back the running mojo a bit!

Jason said...

Your fitness is way above what it was when you were 'just' running so you will smoke this race I bet.

You will bury your head and run at the same perceived effort up that hill and then be in cruise control the rest of the way.

I have set my half-mary PRs and Mary PRs in my triathlete mode. You'll be great and if not just tell people you're a triathlete and not a runner.

MCM Mama said...

You'll still be faster than me. Maybe your run love will show up when you either leave me in the dust or drag my sorry a$$ over 13.1 miles LOL.

The beauty of never having been fast - I don't miss it LOL.

ajh said...

I was just feeling the run love tonight and thinking about how I HAVE been feeling it lately. It's funny how things keep changing but that's part of what keeps life interesting.

Good luck in your half.

H Love said...

You are so fit a strong YOU CAN DO IT!! You better find some run love soon! Hope to see you for some HTC miles!

Stephanie Anne said...

You'll find the run love! For me, I'm lacking swim love!