Monday, August 20, 2012

overwhelmed ...

This summer has thrown me for a loop.

I headed into it knowing that we'd be busy, but I never expected things to play out like they have.

We've been thrown curve balls that have changed our plans, disrupted our flow and emptied our wallets.

First, my car was sideswiped in a hit and run.

Three days later a tornado came through and a rogue branch caused $2400 of damage to our other car. J and I spent the entire next month sharing one vehicle. Needless to say, the girls and I didn't leave the house very much and it tested my patience.

A few days after the tornado, during a monster heat wave, our AC stopped working and the technician failed to show. It was epic.

Then, while on vacation last week, Dilly attempted to be a daredevil and broke her elbow.

6 hours and 25 x-rays later ...
Add that to the fact that between July 25th and August 26th, I will have spent a total of 10 nights in my own bed AND I am training for a 70.3 during the same time, and you just might get why I feel that despite my best efforts to manage it all, I am coming up short.

I am overwhelmed. Mentally and physically.

So, I quit.

I quit trying to do it all.
I quit pretending that I was excited to race a 70.3 on what felt like less than stellar training.
I quit blogging.
I quit pretty much everything that I didn't ABSOLUTELY have to do.

And I feel really good about.

I officially dropped out of the Half Ironman and switched to the Sprint.
I focused on my family and we had a blast traveling during the last month (broken arm aside).
I reassessed my goals and my timeline for them, realizing my support system is just as an important factor in planning as my own desires are.

I think I am getting my mojo back. And I am confident that running the Mother of All Relays with 35 other amazing women this weekend is going to re-inspire me.

And if not, well then I'll just put on my big girl pants and fight my way back ...

23 comments:

Kayla said...

Sounds like a frustrating summer. It always seems like all those things happen at once! :( Have fun at Hood to Coast!

Amanda@runninghood said...

Good grief, you've had a lot going on!! Sorry to hear. Yes, sometimes we just need to let things go...you've done this and now I'm excited to be there with you for the Mother of all Relays. Way to fight your way back girl!

Running Ricig said...

Oh man! Hang in there! Hopefully things will start to ease up soon!

fancy nancy said...

Oh hugs!!! Hang in there! You've had quite the summer!! Sometimes we need to cut off the extras to focus on what counts. The rest will come!

Lisa said...

Wow. I admire you for keeping your head up during all that stuff. Life is sometimes brutal and it is how we respond to those curveballs that matters. I think re-focusing was super smart.

I am jealous that you will be running HTC. It sounds like it will be just what you need!

(((hugs))) to you.

Michelle said...

Wowza - you've definitely had some curve balls thrown your way! Hope things improve soon. Good luck with Hood to Coast!

Colleen said...

Oh sweet girl! Sending you a massive hug! Hoping that all that crap is in the past!!!

(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

Holy moly! I'm glad you are still coming to HTC, because I will be in Seaside at the finish. Exciting, yeah?! S got picked up on a team, he's running leg 5. I'll be looking for ya!

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

Glad to see you are making your way through a challenging summer with a positive attitude. I wouldn't think it would be anything less knowing your honey badger-ness.

XLMIC said...

O man...you've been run through the wringer. Seems to be the theme of the Summer of 2012 for many of us. I have complete and utter faith that this coming weekend will, indeed, reinspire and reinvigorate. Look out...here comes some major mojo back in the howse :)

Karen said...

Have a great weekend and leave all those cares behind! Sometime dropping out for a bit can be so freeing. We'll be here when you get back :)

Franki said...

Sounds like some great decisions. These curve balls do get in the way of our plans sometimes. So smart to revamp your goals and be happy!

ajh said...

I was thinking of you when I was in Providence this weekend and wondering if you would be there. I can see why you weren't! Glad things are turning around for you.

Amber said...

Holy smokes! Does Dilly at least have an epic story an how she broke her elbow?? Way to hang in there and accept what you can and can't handle. Sounds like you did exactly what you needed to do, despite the tough reality. :)

Elizabeth said...

wow. you’ve had a TON going on. look forward to meeting you this week!! EEEEKKK!!!

Marnee said...

Good grief, that is a lot!

Hope we will run into each other this weekend. Mere and I are running on a last minute invite. What van are you in?

Rebecca Rider said...

Good for you!! It's so important not to beat ourselves up when we need a break - thanks for sharing this!! I'm trying to lose weight, and I'm so excited to have found you!

Paulette said...

Oh goodness, sounds like you need that break like crazy. Hang in there!

dreambigrunner.com said...

oh wow, what a summer! Love how you handled everything! Good job on focusing on family first. Hang in there, it will get better!

Rachel said...

Sorry it's been a tough month! You'll come back with new mojo and stronger than ever!! :) Juggling it all is insane and can make you feel like a failure at life, never forget you're a ROCKSTAR!!!

longlegsontheloose.com said...

you're freaking awesome. You always amaze me with your ability to FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT but at the same time know when to take a step back. Your girls have one hell of a role model in you!! have a blast this weekend! I know you all will kill it

Sue's Ramblings said...

I cannot even begin to imagine what it have been like. Hang in there T!

Run with Jess said...

OMG. You are so strong to reassess and make the proper changes. I've been doing sort of a balance check lately too... some things just gotta go!