Wednesday, July 18, 2012

does it really matter?

During high school, I had a bit of a reputation for being "scary." When I walked from class to class, people got out of my way. I didn't smile. Football players were known to shutter as I passed.

Even as an adult, I've been told before that I can come across as cold, harsh and rigid. I've been told that my view on life can be off-putting. And I've been told that others would want to get on my "bad side."

All of these things make me laugh.

Truth be told, once you get to know me, I am nothing like that. But, I will admit that I do my best to give that first impression. I guess I figure if you can get past the worst parts of my personality, then you are worth investing time in. I don't waste time with shallow friendships. They aren't worth it to me. I would rather focus my energy and attention on the people who are truly important. There is a lot less drama that way.

As I have grown, I have begun to take this same approach to all aspects of my life. I try to focus on what's important, the things that are going to have a true and lasting effect on me and my family and I try to let everything else just be.

I've learned that stressing and complaining about something does not do anything to help your situation. If anything, it only makes it more unbearable.
  • Everything in your house breaks in the same week? Either fix it or don't. Complaining won't fix anything.
  • You have no car for three weeks because the body shop is holding it hostage? Either deal with it or lay into them to get them moving. Having a freak out because they are not working on "your schedule" does nothing but raise your blood pressure.
  • The kids are so off the wall that you might actually punch a wall? Find a way to engage them, embrace the chaos or get some earplugs and ignore it. Yelling at them to "quit it", only creates more noise and disruption, while getting you worked up into a frenzy.
  • Can't stand where you are right now, in this very moment? Then change it. Don't expect someone to do it for you. Copping an attitude will do nothing but bring you, and everyone around you, down.
It's your life. Live it how you want.

But when you've had enough, step back and ask yourself, "Does it really matter? Is anyone dying, bleeding or about to lose a limb? Is this something we can fix?"

Then once you've assessed the situation, look to yourself and ask, "Is my temper tantrum productive?"

Chances are, it's not. And letting it go, might just change your whole perspective ...

14 comments:

ltlindian said...

I really think that type of attitude comes with age and maturity. As a teenager, everything was a tragedy, drama and dealt with by crying or whatever.

Mid twenties, still some drama--why me??--but some acceptance that the world does not revolve around you.

Now in my 40's (gasp! when did that happen??), you realize that you cannot waste your time sweating the small stuff. Even some of the bigger stuff is not worth it.

It's called growing up. :)

Running Ricig said...

Now I kind of want to meet you in person to see if you really are "scary." You seem awesome to me!

carrie said...

Well said T!! In high school, I was the unapproachable one as well. I could lift as much if not more than the boys in the weight room and I probably carried myself like a boy. It bothered me back then, but I'm over it now.

I need to remind myself during the summertime crazies that no one is bleeding and getting frustrated by my energetic boys is not helping. Thank you!

Niki said...

Love. This outlook on life is something we could all use to adapt. Thanks for the inspiring words :)

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Amanda Perry @ Sistas of Strength said...

I love this! I have been saying the same thing to my husband all the time lately. What really matters is okay right now and for that we should be grateful. The rest...eh we'll figure that out.

Wymberley Pfalmer said...

I wish you lived closer. We would not be shallow friends.

longlegsontheloose.com said...

this is a freaking awesome post. nuff said.

~*Kimmy*~ said...

So needed to see this!! Thanks!

Rachel said...

When I was first reading this, I was like, "Whhaaatt?!?! That's not T, at all!!" I should really adhere to your "stop complaining and get over it" attitude.. It IS so much more helpful, but dang, if it doesn't feel good to throw a giant hissy fit sometimes. ;)

Nicole Orriƫns said...

A temper tantrum is seldomly productive, but it can make you feel better for blowing off some steam!

http://www.momshomerun.com

Jason said...

So awesome and true. None of it really matters. Love your family and friends and everything else will take care of itself or it won't. Life Happens!

XLMIC said...

I was so amazed by how chill you are :) Really like this post.

thesarcastictriathlete said...

stumbled upon your blog through Nuun. I completely understand this post! I weed out people that can't tolerate me almost instantly. have fun at the Hood to Coast, it's on my bucket list!