And then you were 5 ...

Dear Dilly,

I know I've said this before, but with each passing year I am left with a sense of loss. As the moments slip past, I want to grab as many as I can and hit the pause button. I want to live them again. I want to take in all the details I missed and to relish in all the ones I didn't. I know it's because you're my baby. Deep down, that's why your birthday hits me harder than everyone else's, even my own.

Dilly, one day old.

As my baby, I know that all your first are often my lasts. Soon, I'll send you to your first day of Kindergarten and while you'll be starting your academic career, I'll be losing my preschooler who spends day after day by my side. Soon, you'll lose your first tooth and I'll see the excitement of that milestone for the last time. So much of me cannot wait for all these things and so much more, but I can't ignore the fact that it will be bittersweet.

Dilly, on her 5th birthday.

Over the past five years, I have gotten to know you and all your quirks. I've learned that you are the most pleasant child I have ever met. You go with the flow. You can occupy yourself. You can wait with the best of them. You love fully and completely and you've never met a person you wouldn't hug. Simply put, there is a vibrancy about you. You radiate love and happiness and I am better to have had you by my side all this time.

Dilly, I am truly blessed to call you my daughter. I can't get enough of all the little things that make you exactly who you are. It is my hope for you that you never lose sight of all those little things that make you special. Cherish them. It's important. But if you ever forget, know that I will be there to remind you because I love every last one of them.

I'm sure as you grow, the things that comprise the essence of you will change. But right now, as you enter your sixth year, these are my favorite parts of you. I love that you are a Southern girl with a Boston accent - a combination on you could pull off. (Sure it might be nice to be able to pronounce the letter "r", but who really needs it?) I love the way you sneak into my bed in the morning and snuggle up to me, putting your back next to mine in away that fits perfectly. And I love that your first instinct when you do something wrong is not to apologize but you yell out "I love you!" like it might help me ignore your shortcomings.

Dilly, even if I wrote an entire book about you and all the ways I love you, I would never be able to fully express my love or how imperfectly perfect you are. So, instead, I will just wish you the happiest of birthdays. May you continue to show the strength, love and compassion beyond your years and may all your wishes come true.

I love you to infinity and beyond!

XOXO,
Mom