In case you haven't realized it yet, I am a planner. I like to think that my organization skills are one of my strongest and most valuable traits. I make lists for lists. I pack weeks in advance. My family lives and dies by a schedule. Structure is good. Spontaneity, not so much. Sure I would love to be one of those, "fly by the seat of your pants" kind of people, but that's just not me.
To be honest, I can't remember a time when I wasn't that way. Growing up, I was the kid who did their homework first thing on Friday afternoon. All of my projects and reports were finished, and often turned in, early. What can I say, I'm disciplined. I see the big picture and the many steps needed to get there. That's probably why I always won playing checkers, but hated charades (too much creativity for me).
But right now. At this very moment. I'm asking myself (and J for that matter), "What's going to happen next?" It's making me very uneasy. I think I am getting an ulcer. (OK, maybe I'm being a little bit dramatic.)
Either way, I just have a lot of questions and no real answers. My head is all jumbled.
Here take a peek:
Is this house big enough for three kids? Is our car? Can I handle three kids? How the heck am I ever going to run pushing a triple stroller? If we stay here, are the schools good enough? Can we afford to go private? Can we afford to move? Does it make sense to move? How much can I pile on my plate before I topple over? Am I running enough? Could I be overdoing it? Are the kids at school corrupting Dizzle? Will I ever get Dizzle off the playground without a fight? Should we change our health care coverage? Would a flexible spending account be good for us? Why haven't I registered for a post-baby race? Should I invest in a good pair of earplugs to drown out my kids?
So, obviously some of these questions are a little less important than others. But right now, it's like they are all yelling at each other in my head. I really need to shut them off. Any ideas on how to do that?
Oh and since I'm sure you were concerned - let me just add, this isn't a cry for help. I'm not stressed out. I am just a little off my equilibrium.