bathroom breakdown ...

Although it is a rarely happens that I have to take both girls into a public restroom at the same time, there are those days when it's inevitable. And today was one of those days.

Scene: TGI Friday's, W. Broad St., Richmond
Time: Lunchtime, 10/10/08
Players: Me, Dizzle and Doodle (J sat clueless at our table)

Even though I had changed her a mere hour and a half before, Doodle somehow managed to soak through her diaper AND her entire outfit. So, with diaper, wipes and new outfit in hand, I headed off to the bathroom. When suddenly, Dizzle blurted out, "I have to go pod too!"

J instantly asked if I would be OK with both of them. I answered, "Sure, no problem." (read: there is no way in Hell that this is going to go well). And off we went.

Now, I'm not sure if all Friday's bathrooms are like this, but the one we visited had the tiniest stalls EVER! In fact, the changing table cuts across the front of the toilet, leaving about two inches of maneuverability on either side. (Again, I should have seen that and left ... but I didn't).

Anyway, I put Doodle down on the changing table (which she hates) and she instantaneously started to scream. Dizzle, meanwhile was standing next to the toilet basically making out with the flusher. So, like any mother would, I yelled at her. And not a "we're in public" kind of yell, but a full on "the nearest neighbors are half a mile away" kind of yell. So now both of my kids are crying. But still I trek on. I manage to strip Doodle down and am closing her diaper when ... RIP. The damn tab on the diaper ripped off. So now I have a half-diapered, half-dressed, totally hysterical child in one hand and a preschooler who is trying to rip her clothes off because she has to pee so bad.

At this point I have two options, try to hold a squirming Doodle against my baby bump AND strip Dizzle down at the same time (yes, she had to get totally naked. She had a sundress over her gymnastics leotard. Not the best combination) or put Doodle down and hope she doesn't try to lick the toilet.

So, I put her down. (another bad choice.) She somehow managed to drop the toy I gave her as a distraction and then picked it up and tried to eat it! Fantastic! So I asked Dizzle to hold herself up and I turned and yelled at Doodle. (Again, not with the "we're in public" yell) She instantly started crying, I picked her up (wanting to cry too) and pulled Dizzle off the toilet. After she got her twelve layers of clothes back on, we headed out (no hand washing. Gross, but I was too afraid of how that might go wrong) and I vowed NEVER to take them to the bathroom alone again! Seriously, how am I ever going to be able to handle three?

Just a note: I did Purel their hands once we left the restaurant. Just in case you were thinking I was totally disgusting.