Saturday, October 2, 2010

like mother, like daughter ...

When I was younger and still under my parent's control, I swore to myself that there were things I just wouldn't do as a parent. I'd never say "Because I said so" or be the uptight parent with all the rules. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, I do/am both of those things. And I could probably list another hundred things in regards to my parenting, that I have had to eat my words about.

But more than anything else, I remember thinking as a child that I would never grow up to be like my mother. (I feel like everyone says this at some point). What I didn't realize at the time is that what I should have wanted was to be EXACTLY like my mother. She was great at what she did. And while I don't agree with EVERY parenting decision that she made, her foundation was strong. She always looked out for our best interests (even if we couldn't see it) and she helped us amplify our strengths. She was strict with a hint of flexibility and she knew how to trust her gut.

But, the best example of her parenting skills is the fact that she managed to raise three well-adjusted, intelligent and successful daughters (not to toot my own horn or anything). And that says a lot.

And because of this, when I see her parenting style/tactics coming out in my own approach to my children, I am proud. I know that I am doing the best that I can for my daughters. I am giving them stability and structure and a firm grasp of what's right and wrong. And I know that even if they don't appreciate it now (or 20 years from now), one day they will have their own children and will be grateful for the example I have set.

Unfortunately, I will not only pass on my strengths, but my weaknesses too (like my sarcastic tone and smart a** nature). And that became very apparent earlier this week when I lost my cell phone.

We were running late for soccer and I was quickly packing up. Before I headed for the door, I checked my bag for my wallet, keys and phone. But the phone wasn't there and I refused to leave without it. I looked *everywhere* and was calling it from our home phone, but was unable to find it. The girls were helping, but the longer it went missing, the more frustrated I became. And before I knew it, all four of us were crying.

It was sad. And pathetic. Not giving up hope, Dizzle told me to call again. And amazingly, the phone rang. We all ran to the kitchen and located the sound. And there it was. My cell phone in a random pocket OF MY BAG. The bag where I ALWAYS put it. Hmph!

And that's when Dizzle said (with eye roll), "Mom! It was in your bag the whole time. Don't ya think that should have been the first place you looked?"

Um, yeah Dizzle. I should have. Thanks for bringing that to my attention. And for showing me how much I am rubbing off on you ...

9 comments:

Anne said...

Great post...very real :)

Carly said...

I think you're right. We all say we don't want to become our mothers, but then we do because we can't help it. I really respect how my parents raised me so I'm resigned to the fact that I'll be just like her.

P.S. I've got a giveaway going on right now, if you want to check it out. ;-)

k2323 said...

My mom could never, ever find her car at the mall in the parking lot after we went shopping. It was always mine and my sister's job to remember where she parked. We used to make fun of her to no end. Um, guess what my daughter's job is when we go shopping?

Deb said...

Prior to being a parent, I was so sure of how I would do it.

Now, I'm like you. I'm practically my mother.

Katie A. said...

I hope your mamma can read this ;) I'm sure I will be eating the same words when I have kids!

Just getting all caught up! Congrats on an awesome September! You're a rockstar! You're going to kill that marathon!!! I'm so excited - you and me both are running a full that day - we'll have to text and check in with one another!
Happy Saturday!

Marlene said...

We all have our moments! Nice to have someone there to put us in our place sometimes. :)

Meredith said...

LOVE it!! Unfortunately a bit a me has rubbed off on my kids as well... yesterday we let some of our mama chickens out to stretch their legs and one took a huge poo in the barn. My 4 year old took one look and said, "Oh, cwap!!" Yeah. Oh crap. Mama should NOT say that word!

ajh said...

Love it! Some day Dizzle will be writing about what a great but real mother you were!

Lesley @ racingitoff.com said...

This post is right on!!! My life is just like this... and I'm getting my payback... remember when your mom said "some day you will have a kid just like YOU and you'll understand." Oh yes, I understand.