Thursday, August 5, 2010

can't fight the power ...

I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason. And if you give it enough time, you can usually figure out what that reason is. I also believe that each of us is set on a course headed toward a certain destination and nothing you can do is going to change that. You may think that your actions are altering things, but no matter how you travel there or how many detours you take along the way, you always end up exactly where you are supposed to be.

I often ponder this when I think back on how J and I ended up together. We first met when I was a senior in high school and went on a recruiting trip to Cornell, where he was a sophomore. I was 17 and had dreams of working in Media and J was the only thrower at Cornell who was enrolled in a Communications course that semester. So, by default, I ended up spending the day with him. He took me to class and then on a never-ending tour of Cornell's very hilly campus (note: I could rock those hills now, but back then I was an overweight non-runner).

Despite, J's very interesting tour, Cornell wasn't the place for me and I ended up at the University of Pennsylvania. J and I would continue to cross paths for the next two years (Penn and Cornell are kind of rivals), but we never spoke again and I am pretty sure he had no recollection of who I was.

Then in April of 2002, at the end of my sophomore year and his senior year, we both were selected to compete as members of the Penn-Cornell team, which would travel to England to compete two months later. I was crazy excited (it was my first trip out of the United States). But just a few weeks later, on May 15, my father passed away unexpectedly. It was such a hard time and I contemplated not going. But my mother insisted. She probably knew it would do me good to get away.

So, I went and two days into the trip, J and I started dating. Everything happened so fast. It was fun and spontaneous and so completely unlike my "normal" life. It was something I would have typically shied away from, but things kind of sucked at that point and I figured that even if it ended badly I couldn't hurt more that I already did. But, it didn't end badly. In fact, it was pretty perfect and by the time that we returned home I knew that I was going to marry him.

And when I look back on it now, I think about all the things that tried to work against us. The things that could have kept us from ending up together. What if I had gone to Cornell? Would he have seen me the same way? What if I decided to give up my spot on the trip? Would we have crossed paths again? What if my father hadn't passed? Would I have been as open to the possibility of dating J or would I have let fear win out? I guess I'll never know. Either way, I truly believe that the sequence of events in the weeks and years prior, brought me to that exact point. It was where I needed to be and I was in a mental state that allowed it to happen.

And that is why I don't fight the power or sweat the small stuff. I have faith that things will work themselves out in due time. That you need to look for the signs, pay attention to what is around you and to take the detours when you need to. The path is already there for you. You just need to find the means of travel that work best for you.

31 comments:

bobbi said...

This was EXACTLY what I needed to read today. Thank you....

Silly Girl Running said...

You have no idea how much this post helped me see things in the right perspective! :)

Silly Girl Running said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kat said...

Great post, thanks for sharing that.

MCM Mama said...

Great perspective to have. I've always been a "everything happens for a reason" kind of girl myself.

Jodi H said...

Great post! I couldn't agree more. I try to remember that "everything happens for a reason" but sometimes figuring out that reason takes time and gets a bit frustrating. Thanks for putting it into perspective for me!!

Marlene said...

What a sweet story! I love how it worked out for you two. I'm not really a big believer in fate or destinay... I'm not a DISbeliever, just not 100% convinced. ;)

Katie said...

this post makes me happy :)

Katie said...

Great post! Thanks for sharing.

Wifey said...

LOVE this! Thanks for the inspiration!

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Katie A. said...

LOVED THIS! Thanks for sharing the story a little more in detail - you are an amazing lady :)

Being the control freak I am, it is often hard to "let go and let God" as we say at my house. But it is so freeing. Things always happen for a reason and attempting to let things just happen is a lesson in humility. Have a wonderful Thursday!

Courtney said...

Thats such an awesome post. Thanks for sharing T!

Becka said...

I totally agree - things do happen for a reason and life is too short to stress over every little thing. What a cute story!

busyrunningmama said...

That was just a really great post.....with all of my struggles over the past 10 months, it puts things in perspective. I know there is a plan for me and my running....that's why I just keep plugging away.....Thanks for sharing!!

Stephanie said...

Great post...really makes you look at life a different way!

J said...

Wow that is an incredible story! It really is amazing how things come together!

Chelsea said...

Ugh this might be long but my grandma & grandpa's story is my reason in believing that everything happens for a reason -

My grandpa was enrolled at West Point in the 50's. His best friend had a steady girlfriend. Best Friend & Steady girl friend decide to set my grandpa up on a blind date with one of their single lady friends.

Single lady friend backs out. My grandma gets asked to go. My grandpa is like 'maybe this isn't such a good idea.' My grandma tries to get out of if every way she can - but finally her dad sits her down and tells her that she needs to go - she works too hard and needs some fun.

By the end of the date both grandma & grandpa knew they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. And they did. My grandma passed away 6 months before their 50th wedding anniversary.

Everything DOES happen for a reason.

Emz said...

Could you hear my tears falling from AZ last night?

This is awesome. While it appears to have impacted a lot of people besides me [see above comments]. Thank you - it was for me [too].

Stephany said...

That was.... just beautiful and in perfect timing -- which proves the entire point :)

akjenniekt said...

That's a pretty cool story :)-guess you two were just meant to be!

Candice @ I Have Run said...

This is great! Exactly how I have been trying to think lately. My new focus in life is not sweating the small stuff!

ajh said...

Heartwarming post! I try not to sweat the small stuff. Quite often I am successful but not always!

bobbie said...

Great story! Love it!!

Kiesha said...

LUV your post. I feel exactly the same way and sometimes get frustrated when others work themselves up into a frenzy and then complain about everything. "Don't sweat the small stuff" has always been a great mantra and holds true. I'm adding your post to my Friday Fav's if thats okay.

twilighttwinsjewels said...

thanks fro sharing such a beautiful story!

shellyrm aka jogging stroller mama said...

I believe things happen for a reason, with a purpose, to facilitate an ultimate plan however, that doesn't keep me from worrying about how things will turn out when I am in the middle of a life changing situation. I am constantly spinning things out 6 months, a year, 2, 3, 5...and playing options in my mind of how this or that will be. Not for myself but for my kids.
Maybe my view point is different due to my age and life experinces. Maybe simply because I am the "way" I am. I am envious of people who have that feeling that their actions have lead them to be exactly where they are to be in life.
I can't say that I sweat the small stuff but I give way too much thought to the bigger picture when my kids future is effected. Probably why I like to live one day at a time and make the most of it.
Great story about you and J. He MUST be your lobster.

RunHapi13 said...

I read this post this morning but couldn't comment until tonight. I am a true believer of this as well. So glad you have found and followed your path!

Aimee (I Tri To Be Me) said...

This was a great post! I believe that things are meant to be too! Yay for you and J ending up together! :)

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

Love it!! I met my hubby on Match.com... now if that is not a It happens for a Reason scenario I dont know what is.

Robyn @ Wannabe Writer Runner said...

I love this post b/c I'm always wondering and going back and forth about whether things happen for a reason. I'm so glad it worked out for you and your hubs, and what a great story it is!

Julie said...

great post. loved reading how you met your husband... everything does happen for a reason,