Thursday, November 11, 2010

why I hate business trips ...

So, I haven't really ever gone on a business trip. I think you actually need a job for that. OK, maybe once, I kind of had a business trip (my coaching certification course). But even then, it was more like a day at work rather than an actual trip, since I drove home after each session.

J, on the other hand, has been on half a million business trips. A large part of his job is to audit events and attend meetings all over the country. Some are heavier travel months than others, but being the one who "holds down the fort," I often feel like the travel is non-stop (I know in actuality that it's not.)

For instance, J had trips last week and this week and next week. His current adventures will get him home a mere 17 hours before he toes the line at the Richmond Half Marathon on Saturday. (Nothing like cutting it close.)

Now, I will admit it. Sometimes, it makes things easier when J is gone. I have my schedule and I can stick to it without interference. But most of the time, I REALLY hate it. And this is why ...

1. I miss J. I love him to pieces and not seeing him totally sucks. Plus, the vast majority of my time is spent with people age five and under, and some days I don't get enough adult interaction.

2. It is really hard to get my kids ready for the day without any help. By choice, we drive Dizzle to school. When J is here, one of us takes her in while the other one stays with Doodle and Dilly (who is usually sleeping). If J's not here, I have to wake up Dilly a good hour before she would normally get up and have all three kids ready to walk out the door by 7:30 a.m.

3. Certain errands don't get accomplished. There are some places I don't like to go with my children. The list includes, but is not limited to, the bank, the grocery store, the post office. When J is home, I can usually sneak away for solo trips to these places. When he's gone, things don't get mailed and we eat from the pantry.

4. Bath time is a NIGHTMARE. Getting three tired children cleaned up and ready for bed is a hard task when both parents are present. Take one out of the mix and things go from bad to worse.

5. I eat more than I normally would. I am an emotional eater. And boredom is a BIG trigger for me. Once I get the girls in bed and have nothing to do and no one to talk to, I eat. I know I shouldn't but the little self-control I have goes right out the window when the boredom sets in.

6. Business trips mess with my running schedule. Early morning runs are out. Non-stroller runs are out. And unless I want to pay a babysitter (which I don't), the treadmill becomes my running partner. And sometimes, I'm just not feeling it.

7. I get crazy jealous that I don't get to go. Sure, J has to work. But, he gets to travel the country, eat at awesome restaurants and sleep peacefully without the threat of a screaming child, all of which sounds pretty fantastic to me.

You know, now that I think about it, moms should get business trips too ...

29 comments:

momof3 said...

OK that's it: San Fran. We're now calling it a "convention". Mel? Are you in?... we need an event planner.

the dawn said...

hmmm, i hate when mr. dawn is gone, but i don't have nearly as many good reasons as you do. mine is limited to being cranky. i'm so impressed that you are able to function with three girls! wow, you deserve medals for that, never mind all the running :)

Rae said...

You definitely deserve a business trip!

Pam said...

Wow, I didn't realize you were basically doing this all by yourself. You're such an amazing woman!

Kortni said...

I get cranky when my hubby goes away for a day so I can't imagine lots of travel. Kuddos to you for doing it all and doing it all so well!

Michelle said...

I can somewhat relate. My husband has been on a 295 day "business trip" to Iraq. Fun times.

Rene' said...

so with you. and it gets worse as they get older because not only do you deal with the every day stuff, you deal with getting people to practices, getting homework done etc...my hubby has different busy times, but now we are in the think of it, November-April he is gone almost every week.
I think that Michelle takes the cake though:(

Marlene said...

Moms should totally get business trips. I had a hard enough time when my hubs was travelling a lot last year and earlier this year... and that's without 4 youngins to worry about!

Julie said...

I remember making some incredibly inane comments to my MIL when I was pregnant with baby #1 about how I was going to take my babies everywhere with me and wouldn't really be needing a lot of help - how hard could the grocery store be with kids in tow anyway? Why would we ever want to leave them behind when we go on vacation? etc.

Oh brother.

Hope you get a "business trip" soon :-)

Deb said...

I have a hard enough time just being on my own with the kids every day. I can't imagine if I didn't have some help in the evening. Mentally it would drive me crazy.

Kudos to you and I think you totally deserve a business trip.

Colleen said...

At least you have a helpful, loving hubby at home most of the time, so many mothers don't get that luxury. I am one of the lucky ones too :)

Carly said...

I can only imagine...good luck in the next couple of weeks. Here's to hoping the time flies by.

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

All those things aside you DO travel to run?? Does that count.. Pretty sure that someone went to Bermuda and Seattle this year, am I right?? Hmmm..

Good luck with all that is Single Parenthood you will make it.. Put on your Superwoman panties and make it work lady!!

Runners Fuel said...

That would be hard without your hubby to help out with 3 kids. Moms should get business trips!

Indigo said...

#7 is where I'm at, but add to that not having to attend to dogs that need to go outside in the middle of the night. AND not having to listen to anyone snoring in the middle of the night.

Kristen said...

Oh no, no, no...moms don't need a business trip...we need a vacation!! A business trip would involve our business...which is our kids!! Nope. I need a kid-less vacation!! ;)

shellyrm aka jogging stroller mama said...

Wow I didn't realize J was gone so much. I can see how you have things so organize now. Hubbs doesn't adhere to my "keep the kids on a schedule" mentality which makes things hard (and allows the kids to view Daddy as the 'good guy').

The eating. I can't believe you eat much junk at all! You are very lean! You must snack on healtier thing than I do.

I doesn't always seem "fair" that Hubbs has often chosen to by away but I want my kids in a certain kind of place and like choose for now to be near extended family so I soften my grumbling knowing I partly chose to be this married-single-parenting person. It just doesn't make the day to day any easier!

The Hungry Runner Girl said...

I could not agree more with you! I hate it when Billy is gone and I can't even imagine having kids when he is gone! I am totally an emotional eater too!!! Early morning runs are my favorite things ever and that sucks you can't do them when he is gone!

Lesley @ racingitoff.com said...

You pretty much just summed up my life. Even when hubby is in town, he rarely gets home before 8pm... so I'm still stuck carting everyone around (and I drive my kids to and from school as well).

Kelly said...

Mom duties are nutso, no matter what. That being said, I'm sure I'm not the only reader who is surprised to see a kinda tone deaf post on your blog. I say that out of community, not criticism- this is not a personal attack- we all get carried away with ourselves sometimes. But alot of running moms work full time themselves AND have husbands who work alot or have to travel. Try balancing a client deadline, a boss breathing down your neck, kids with a legitimate need for attention and your husband's delayed flight home. Yes, being a stay at home mom is a neverending job- but it's a luxury to complain about having to run on the treadmill or having enough downtime at night that you're bored and eat. Most working or single moms would trade an organ for those options. And I have to laugh at your jealousy that your husband "gets to go" on the trips. I'm sure those trips are heaven on earth- not! Work travel is grueling and stressful and sucky. Bad blogger! No cupcake! ;) Seriously, though- just suggesting you rethink this with a normal amount of perspective.

Julie @ Hotlegs Runner said...

agreeing with you here! I only have one and she's all grown up. My hats to your for taking care of 3! you go momma!

Anabela (Bela) Neves said...

I only have one DD, not sure how you do it with 3. And I agree with another here....moms don't need a business trip they need a vacation.....a long vacation!

Randy said...

To Kelly: I think your comments are out of line. This isn't some magazine article where the author has to appeal to all viewpoints. It is a blog of a stay at home mom who loves to run. How is it "tone deaf" for her to talk about how much harder her life becomes when her husband is out of town?

Also, as this blog is only a small slice of T's life, I am sure the "luxuries" you list in your comments have been well earned with countless unreported personal and professional sacrifices. Remember that perspective works both ways.

Morgan said...

Oh lordy woman! You def have more reasons to hate business trips than I do!!! Spike is out of town at least once a week for 2-4 days at a time but I don't have to deal with even a fraction of what you do! I just get lonely and miss him which in turn makes me miss my friends from Florida because if I were there at least I'd have them to hang out with. So yeah, thanks for putting that into perspective for me! No more pouty face from me! You are a saint!!!

Julie D. said...

Sometimes my husband sends me picture texts of the crazy incredible food he is eating at all expense paid fancy restaurants... I hate him in that moment. :) I'm usually covered in ketchup from the chicken nuggets we are eating. I'm with ya-I hate business trips.

Rebecca said...

It would be even harder if your daughters weren't the cutest girls on earth! (They are adorable!)

Anonymous said...

Amen Randy!!!!

Kelly, dude, we write our blogs for ourselves. Yea, I said it. Because if we were truly writing for others, we would be collecting a pay check.

If you want to share this "helpful community criticism" why don't you post it on your OWN blog? Oh, wait.. I bet you're too busy to blog, what? With going back to college, a marathon training plan, 3 kids - one who is special needs, a husband who works two jobs, a part time job of your own and a 4.0... oh wait, darn-it, that's MY blog.

Still, maybe YOU need to think before you post something on someone's blog. Just a helpful thought, out of community, not criticism.

Katye said...

Kelly:
If you're life is so busy, where do you find time for the "luxury" of reading blogs and then writing long winded senseless comments. T has said time and time again that although she loves her readers, her blog is for her and her family to reflect back upon, not to please the masses. Many stay at home mom's would find your deadlines to be a luxury. T is one of the hardest working and most inspirational women I have ever met. And I find your reference to having kids with a "legitimate need for attention". Are you suggesting all children don't have a "legitimate need for attention"? . Funny, my mm sacrificed her full time career, the comfort of a double income home, and her time so that my brother and I didn't need to know what day care was. Oh and did I mention my brother has had 16 life threatening surgeries (as in not sure he is going to wake up) starting from the time he was 6 months. I'd say that is a kid with a "legitimate need for attention". And just curious...what organ do you think they would like to trade? Just wondering ; ). Bad commenter. No cupcake ; )

Jen said...

Oh, T! I LOVE your post. I LOVE your honesty... and PLEASE DO NOT CHANGE for anyone.

I think your faithful followes have commented enough about Kelly's comment... she probably won't ever even come back to read what the "community" thinks.

I too wish we had business trips... and better yet, I would like some alone time in my house... imagine what I could get done.

Rock that 8K tomorrow, girl!