Tuesday, January 4, 2011

open letter to Dizzle ...

Dear Dizzle,

Honey, I love you. I love you in ways I will never be able to express, but some days, like today, I can not bear to be in the same room as you. Your attitude needs to change. Get over thinking you are entitled to something that you are not. You are no better than anyone else in this house and that whinny cry-baby crap isn't going to get you anywhere.

Now, I know that I am hard on you. I expect a lot. But, I know you have a lot to give. You are strong, intelligent and capable. I am fully aware of this. Just keep in mind that there are sometimes that you do not need to demonstrate these traits. Remember that sometimes, it is best to just do what you are told. I am your mother and ultimately, I am in charge. There is no reason to fight this. I am not making you do things to make your life a living hell, but rather to make sure that things go as smoothly and as safely as possible. I am thinking of the whole. You are thinking of you.

I promise you that you will always have the opportunity to demonstrate your strengths (and weaknesses). And that one day, I will let you "do it yourself," as you so often request. But when we are working on limited time, please just do what I say. And do it the first time. That way you walk out the door with a full stomach and without me screaming at you.

I am sorry for the way I behaved this morning, but I only have so much patience and the 20 minutes between when you wake up and when you leave for school is NOT the time to test it. As for all the yelling, I swear that if I thought you could hear me when I speak at a normal volume, I would never yell.

Dizzle, I realize that our relationship is a two way street. And I also realize that we are both stubborn. But, I promise to try to keep my cool and give you more flexibility, if you promise to cut the whining and to stay on task when we are short on time.

Do we have a deal?

Love,
Mom

28 comments:

Terri said...

Ha! Good luck with that, Mom! :) This is why I have gray hair!

Holly said...

Not sure how old Dizzle is, but I feel the same way with my 3 3/4 darling little girl sometimes!! Most days she is awesome and helps when I ask, but some days she is the opposite, fighting me all the way! I am just as stubborn and most of the time I can't let her "win" a battle. Good Luck!

Mama C said...

Dizzle sounds an awful lot like my older son. He & I are frighteningly similar in personality, which leads to much butting of heads and demonstrations of will. It has gotten slightly better as he has gotten older - our battles have become fewer and far between, yet retain their intensity. Good luck!!

mommaof3ontherun said...

Try 3 kids doing the same thing. I feel terrible some mornings.

Mamarunsbarefoot said...

I have constant guilt at times for the way I react. At times they push me to my human limit and beyond. I certainly don't handle it always in a Godly way. I find this so hard now they are growing older and trying to exert their independence. Sigh.... Doing what they are told is such a great lesson to learn. I am constantly trying to instill this.

Have a great day, you sound like a great mom who did what was needed.

Julie said...

Oh boy!! Can I relate! My daughter and I are both the most stubborn people. It's HARD! She MUST do everything on her own. I hate yelling and I hate that feeling after dropping the kids off at school that a war just happened and I'm left to lick my wounds until it's time to pick them up again.

I am positive that this stubborn trait will get her far in life, though, so I'm just riding it out :-)

Anonymous said...

I am glad I am not alone after reading your post and all of the comments. My daughter and I are both very stubborn and she is only 2 and a half ( going on 16). I can't not even imagine what awaits me when she is pre- teen and beyond!!

Bethany + Ryan said...

I've heard my mom say all those things to me at some point in my life. it's so funny bc mom's are always right!! it just takes about 20+ years to learn that tho.

Sally HP said...

Wow, we have a cosmic connection. I was just opening this up when I said to my kiddos 'You guys need to go to the playroom, because if you're not going to listen to me, you need to not be in the same room as me.' Oy!

Jen said...

Can I steal this... and say, "Dear Kiera"?

Marlene said...

You must have the patience of a saint. Seriously!

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

I can not wait for her reply!!! ;-)

Shelley said...

I hated sending my son off to school after a morning like what (it sounds like) you had...raising kids is a tough job. Sounds like both of you could use a hug today.

ann said...

love it!

akjenniekt said...

great letter- always good to have something like this on record :)!

Julie D. said...

Gosh, do we have the same children? Don't think I have commented on your previous posts...Congrats on a great 2010!!! Incredible. Good luck in 2011!!

Erica said...

freaking kids! My 4year old decided this morning that her feet were too tired to stand....with 10 mins left to go I said very calmly and rationally "I will make sure your feet never work again if you don't get your bummed dressed now" she some how managed to get dressed after that....

Char said...

Tough morning, huh? That's the thing with kids - it's their job to test us (over and over again) and our job to make sure that they don't win.

Stacie said...

Isn't being a Mom an adventure? I'm sure we all have days when we could write similar letters. I know I do.

tara martinak said...

Hang in there Racing With Babes!! Aside from the whining and not listening on the kid's part, I usually feel the worst about MY behavior/reaction (not theirs!). "Love and Logic" parenting has helped me immensely with these situations...as has getting my kids up earlier in the morning. More time to work through the difficulties...and more time for me to calculate a reasonable response that I can feel good about! This too shall pass!

LookingUpAgain said...

Pretty sure my mom wrote me a letter like this every day of my life from age 2 through 18 :) Yay parenting. Can't believe I'm honestly considering it.

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

LMAO!! I always wondered why my Mom would say "I have to yell because you all dont listen when I talk normal." Now I know.. KIDS!!!

Lesley @ racingitoff.com said...

Wait... did I write this? Certainly feels like I did... luckily not today, but on many, many other days. Prayers for you and Dizzle!

Shawn said...

hahahahhahahaha...that's funny. DINK's will definitely not get this...hahahha still laughing!!!!

Love and Puppies, Christy said...

Good luck my friend!

the dawn said...

the good news is: i'm pretty sure that i was stubborn as a mule and strong headed...always wanted to "do it myself."

and now...some 20 years later...i call my mom all the time. sometimes to ask how to make "her" lasagna. sometimes for financial advice. sometimes for therapy. we all grow up eventually and learn what amazing women are mothers are!

Wifey said...

OMG! I SO needed this today. My 9-year-old son put me through it this morning. Can you call him? Just kidding. Sort of.

Winks & Smiles,
Wifey

Beana said...

I could write this, almost word for word about my almost 7-yr old daughter. I often at am such a loss about how to parent her independent, strong-willed, intelligent personality.