rolling ...

So, in the past few weeks I have gotten more comfortable with leaving Dilly alone with the girls while I run into the other room. Most of the time, they don't even realize that she is there. And every once in a while I come back to find them kissing her. But today was different.

Here's what happened.

I had just changed Dilly's diaper and I placed her on the floor so that I could throw it away. Dizzle and Doodle were watching TV, so I figured that they wouldn't even notice I was gone. But no. I was very wrong. You see, when I came back into the room, Dilly was gone. I scanned the room and found her next to the television (about 10 feet from where I left her) with Dizzle standing over her. Instantly, I asked how she got there and this is the reply I received.

"We rolled her there."

Really, you rolled her there? You used your five month old sister as a bowling ball? Are you kidding me?

I was completely shocked. And laughing so hard that I couldn't even punish them ...

hold me closer taco dancer ...

Last night, we had tacos and burritos for dinner. And while we were eating, Doodle started to close her eyes and dance in her seat after every bite. It was hilarious. Mainly because she was completely into it. (Hopefully, I will get the video up here soon.)

Anyway, while Doodle was dancing, I looked over at Dizzle and said, "Hey Dizzle. Why don't you close your eyes and try dancing too?" And instead of joining in on the fun, Dizzle turned up her nose and said to me, "No, mommy. I'm only a ballerina dancer. Doodle is a taco dancer."

And I couldn't help but laugh ...

driving for dummies ...

Back in April, I got a speeding ticket. My first ticket EVER. I was so mad. Even if I totally deserved it. Fortunately, rather than paying the fine, I was able to go to driving school (which only cost about $30 less than paying the fine - not really sure how that makes sense).

Anyway, I decided that Saturday was going to be the day. But rather than sitting in a classroom for eight hours (and having to figure out the whole feeding Dilly thing), I had the brilliant idea of taking the course online. Or at least I thought it was brilliant. I had figured that I would read through the material (in much less than eight hours) then fly through the test. But no. It couldn't be that simple.

Instead, the online course had a timer, meaning it would take me every second of that eight hours to get through the material. FANTASTIC. And seeing that it never took me more than half of the allotted time per section to actually read everything, I wasted A LOT of time. Oh, and did I mention that when I finished the eight hours, I couldn't actually take the test? That I had to go to a testing center to do that? Yippee! (Note: I took the test in about 5 minutes. And scored a 96%. And if it had been allowed, I could have passed that test without sitting through the course.)

Back to my point. Now I am sure you are saying to yourself, "Well, you could have just gotten up once you read everything and let the timer count down." And you would be completely wrong. Because that sneaky course would ask random security questions every few minutes to make sure that you were in fact still sitting in front of the computer. Which meant I couldn't go anywhere that I couldn't still see the computer screen. But I guess there is a bright side. My bedroom is now spotless. And I learned a few interesting facts. Facts that I am dying to share with you now.

1. An exact quote. "The bicycle lane is for bicycles. Pretty obvious." (Are they trying to call me an idiot in some backwards kind of way?)

2. Another quote. "There is no trick to driving. All you need to do is pay attention." (Again, are they trying to insult me?)

3. The best defensive driving technique for dealing with large vehicles is to stay away from them.

4. "If driving in poor conditions that are deteriorating, pull to the side of the road, preferably to the other side of the guard rail." Huh? When is that even possible?

5. The best way to avoid drinking and driving is not to drink and drive. (Thank you Captain Obvious!) The second best way to avoid drinking and driving is to drink at home. That way you don't need to drive home! (Yeah! Let's all sit at home and drink it up!)

6. You can get a ticket for driving through a green light. Seriously, it's true. If you do not take the proper precautions when going through an intersection. You can get a ticket.

7. You do not need a license to drive a moped. But if your license has been revoked, it is illegal to drive a moped. (Really? Does that make sense?)

So, as you can see, I learned a lot of useful information ...

wet messes ...

15 days ago, we embarked on an adventure. Not necessarily a fun adventure, but an adventure nonetheless. We (and by we I mean I) started potty training Doodle. For real this time. Day one was painful. And messy. And almost enough to make me quit. But we stuck it out. And we survived. And 15 days later, Doodle wore real underwear all day and DID NOT HAVE ONE ACCIDENT!

Did you hear me? NOT A SINGLE ACCIDENT! Sure, she felt the need to lean back as she peed and get it all over me, but at least she didn't go in her pants.

But I am sure that tomorrow, I will be cleaning up urine from something. It would be a miracle if we made it two days without a mess.

And speaking of wet messes, Dizzle is one. She finally started swim lessons with Morgan Swim School today. And like I imagined, she screamed pretty much the entire time. Except when she was actually doing what the instructor told her to do. It kind of went down like this:

Instructor: "We are going to play Humpty Dumpty."

Dizzle: "I don't want to. I don't want to. I've had enough."

Instructor (over Dizzle's yells): "Humpty Dizzle sat on a wall. Humpty Dizzle had a great fall."

And she pulled Dizzle into the water. But before she did, Dizzle managed to stop yelling, take a deep breath in and hold her breath. Then, upon emerging from the water, she blew out the air and spit out any water from her mouth.

So, it's clear that Dizzle was learning the skills. It is also clear that she refuses to do anything without upping the drama. Were her screams necessary? Was she truly scared? No and no. But it sure made things more interesting.

And the best part is that we get to do it all again tomorrow ...

cupcakes ...

About two months ago, I gave up baked goods. Well, let me rephrase that. I gave up baked goods (cakes, donuts, cookies, etc) with one exception ... cupcakes from Two Sweet Cupcakes. And I am beginning to believe that I am slightly obsessed. And by slightly I mean, completely.

You see, first we got some for J's birthday. Then, we got some more for Dizzle's birthday. Then, we got them again because I really wanted a coconut one. And today, I bought a dozen as an early Father's Day celebration (at least that's the excuse I used). I find myself looking for any reason to get some. I pretty much know their baking schedule by heart. Their menu is hanging on my refrigerator right next to my favorite drawing of Dizzle's. They are taking over my life.

These are no ordinary cupcakes. They are cupcakes on steroids. Super huge. Super tasty. Super addictive. Every flavor is delicious. And I CAN'T STOP EATING THEM! Fortunately, I work out. And I am the primary food source for Dilly. I have some leeway. For now. But eventually all that cream cheese frosting is going to catch up to me. I need help. Please someone help me. Does anyone know if there is a cupcake anonymous?