I've heard people say before that mothers who run are being selfish. That they are putting their own needs and desires ahead of their families. And for this their families suffer.
I've never been able to understand this viewpoint. I didn't grow up thinking that women were supposed to be self-sacrificing. That they aren't supposed to have interests outside of the home. I never thought that it would be impossible to find a balance between family life and personal interests. And I have never EVER thought that going on a run was even slightly selfish.
In fact, recent days have showed me that I am a MUCH BETTER mother and wife when I run. Honestly, I am flat out MEAN on my rest days. So much so, that I am considering running at least 1-2 miles EVERY day to keep me sane and to keep my family from hating me.
Take yesterday for example. It was a scheduled rest day for me. The morning was going well. I dropped off the older girls at school and then Dilly and I were "supposed" to run errands. But, life got in the way, which meant that very little got done. And with every minute that passed, I became more and more stressed. By the time I picked up everyone from school, I was having a hard time keeping my cool.
The afternoon didn't get any better. The girls weren't listening and I still wasn't getting anything accomplished. I started screaming. Over EVERYTHING. It was bad. At one point, I stepped back and thought, "What the heck is going on? They aren't being that bad. Why am I freaking out?"
And that's when I realized what was different from a "normal" day ...
I HADN'T RUN.
And EVERYONE ELSE was paying for it.
So, the next time someone tries to tell me that I am being selfish or that my children are suffering because I make running a priority, I am going to ask them to spend a rest day with me. That way they can see how UNSELFISH my running habit really is ...
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
Flashback Friday ...
Yesterday, Dizzle and I were looking at some old pictures when we stumbled upon this gem ...
Yeah. That's me. Circa December 2002. I was 20 years old and about 195 lbs.
When Dizzle saw this picture, the first thing she said was, "Mom. That's you before you cut your hair." My thought was, "Yes. It's also when I had apparently swallowed a cow." But before those words came out of my mouth, I had a second thought.
Compare this picture (from September 2010) to the one above.
The first thing I notice is that I am much thinner now. But, not Dizzle. She didn't notice my size at all. What she saw was her mom - just with different hair. She wasn't critical of me in the least. So why was I?
Without even realizing it, she reminded me that I need to accept my body for what it is (good or bad). And that I need to love it for what it can do (make babies, rock a running skirt, run a marathon) and forgive it for what it can not (fit into a size 0).
Wow. Wonder if Dizzle realizes how smart she is? Probably.
Yeah. That's me. Circa December 2002. I was 20 years old and about 195 lbs.
When Dizzle saw this picture, the first thing she said was, "Mom. That's you before you cut your hair." My thought was, "Yes. It's also when I had apparently swallowed a cow." But before those words came out of my mouth, I had a second thought.
Compare this picture (from September 2010) to the one above.
The first thing I notice is that I am much thinner now. But, not Dizzle. She didn't notice my size at all. What she saw was her mom - just with different hair. She wasn't critical of me in the least. So why was I?
Without even realizing it, she reminded me that I need to accept my body for what it is (good or bad). And that I need to love it for what it can do (make babies, rock a running skirt, run a marathon) and forgive it for what it can not (fit into a size 0).
Wow. Wonder if Dizzle realizes how smart she is? Probably.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Three Things Thursday ...
1. Last night, I met with Dizzle's teacher for a parent-teacher conference. Going in, I was confident that she was academically thriving. All of her graded papers have had "100%" written across the top. Plus, I have spoken to Dizzle before, so I kind of know what she knows and what she doesn't.
The part I was worried about was her behavior. Now, don't get me wrong, she's a very well behaved child, simply because she is a RULE FOLLOWER. With that said, she is also a BIG TALKER. Like a "doesn't stop to take a breath" talker.
I deal with it at home by telling her to "shut it" or simply ignoring the constant stream of vocabulary vomit. But, that's not going to happen at school. School tends to be a place when excessive talking isn't tolerated. And I already knew she was talking straight through lunch, since she comes home with a nearly full lunch box on most days. I just didn't know if it was rolling over into the classroom.
So, how do you think the conference went?
Yup. I was dead on. She is killing it academically, already exceeding the end of the year assessment standards. (Yes, I'm bragging. Deal with it.) And apparently, she DOES NOT SHUT UP in class. And it's not just chatting to her neighbor. She's also big on interrupting her teacher. So much so that she got a time-out for it today. And the kicker is, she's 100% aware of what she is doing. Kind of sounds to me like someone thriving on being the center of attention. Wonder who she could have gotten that trait from?
2. After the parent-teacher conference, I jumped on the treadmill for a tempo run. I wanted to get a feel for my goal race pace, so I planned on a mile warm-up followed by four miles at race pace followed by a one mile cool-down.
Things started off well. I ran the first mile in 10:00. Then I picked it up to goal race pace (8:00). But after the first mile at that pace, I was feeling strong, so I decided to push it a little. Mile 3 clocked in at 7:53. Mile 4 was 7:47 and Mile 5 was a 7:41. When I hit the 8K mark, the clock read 41:11, an unofficial PR (even with the 10:00 first mile).
Did I mention how I am going to kill the 8K next month?
3. Speaking of the 8K, I know that G, J and I aren't the only ones running the races of the Richmond Marathon. And with that in mind, I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in meeting up for dinner the night before the race.
G and I have discussed a place (Italian, located in the suburbs of Richmond), but I want to get an idea of how many people there would be before we commit/announce. So, if you are running Richmond and want to meet up, shoot me an email at racingwithbabes@yahoo.com to let me know. And be sure to include how many people will be with you.
The part I was worried about was her behavior. Now, don't get me wrong, she's a very well behaved child, simply because she is a RULE FOLLOWER. With that said, she is also a BIG TALKER. Like a "doesn't stop to take a breath" talker.
I deal with it at home by telling her to "shut it" or simply ignoring the constant stream of vocabulary vomit. But, that's not going to happen at school. School tends to be a place when excessive talking isn't tolerated. And I already knew she was talking straight through lunch, since she comes home with a nearly full lunch box on most days. I just didn't know if it was rolling over into the classroom.
So, how do you think the conference went?
Yup. I was dead on. She is killing it academically, already exceeding the end of the year assessment standards. (Yes, I'm bragging. Deal with it.) And apparently, she DOES NOT SHUT UP in class. And it's not just chatting to her neighbor. She's also big on interrupting her teacher. So much so that she got a time-out for it today. And the kicker is, she's 100% aware of what she is doing. Kind of sounds to me like someone thriving on being the center of attention. Wonder who she could have gotten that trait from?
2. After the parent-teacher conference, I jumped on the treadmill for a tempo run. I wanted to get a feel for my goal race pace, so I planned on a mile warm-up followed by four miles at race pace followed by a one mile cool-down.
Things started off well. I ran the first mile in 10:00. Then I picked it up to goal race pace (8:00). But after the first mile at that pace, I was feeling strong, so I decided to push it a little. Mile 3 clocked in at 7:53. Mile 4 was 7:47 and Mile 5 was a 7:41. When I hit the 8K mark, the clock read 41:11, an unofficial PR (even with the 10:00 first mile).
Did I mention how I am going to kill the 8K next month?
3. Speaking of the 8K, I know that G, J and I aren't the only ones running the races of the Richmond Marathon. And with that in mind, I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in meeting up for dinner the night before the race.
G and I have discussed a place (Italian, located in the suburbs of Richmond), but I want to get an idea of how many people there would be before we commit/announce. So, if you are running Richmond and want to meet up, shoot me an email at racingwithbabes@yahoo.com to let me know. And be sure to include how many people will be with you.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Dilly, the escape artist ...
Do you see this face?
Yup. An absolute cherub. Able of no wrong-doing. Perhaps the sweetest and most adorable creature you've ever seen.
But, something lies beneath the surface. An urge. A desire to be, no, do something more. And that something is launch herself out of her crib.
Yes, you read that right. My perfectly behaved 21 month old has crossed over to the dark side. She's a CRIB JUMPER.
And she did nothing to hide it.
On Monday night, J and I were putting her to bed. We placed her in her crib, kissed her goodnight and got ready to leave. But, before we could walk away, her leg was up and over the rail and she had shifted her body weight out of the crib. And with that I told her to say goodbye to her crib. She'd never sleep in that thing again. And my world as we know it was instantly changed.
There's nothing to hold her back now. Her room is suddenly a danger zone. Her naps might not last the week. And who gets to deal with the backlash? Right. Me.
She doesn't look so cute anymore, does she?
Yup. An absolute cherub. Able of no wrong-doing. Perhaps the sweetest and most adorable creature you've ever seen.
But, something lies beneath the surface. An urge. A desire to be, no, do something more. And that something is launch herself out of her crib.
Yes, you read that right. My perfectly behaved 21 month old has crossed over to the dark side. She's a CRIB JUMPER.
And she did nothing to hide it.
On Monday night, J and I were putting her to bed. We placed her in her crib, kissed her goodnight and got ready to leave. But, before we could walk away, her leg was up and over the rail and she had shifted her body weight out of the crib. And with that I told her to say goodbye to her crib. She'd never sleep in that thing again. And my world as we know it was instantly changed.
There's nothing to hold her back now. Her room is suddenly a danger zone. Her naps might not last the week. And who gets to deal with the backlash? Right. Me.
She doesn't look so cute anymore, does she?
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
patience is something I lack ...
The other day I got a message from another runner that said, "Keep waiting to see you post that you are running the Richmond full after your stomach bug race last week."
Huh? Did you all think that I was considering it? Am I really that predictable? (G seems to think so.)
Here's the thing. I kind of lack patience. And I don't like to let an opportunity pass me by. Take for instance, my marriage, family and all that jazz.
If J had asked me to marry him as we were boarding the plane home from England (where we met), I would have said yes. I knew it was right. I was trusting my gut and my gut rarely fails me. Instead, J waited a whole 10 months to ask and we were married just after we had been together for two years (again, I would have done it sooner if I thought the parents would have approved.)
Then there is that matter of having children. J and I managed to wait a whole two months after our wedding to jump on that bandwagon. Dizzle was born a month before our first anniversary and she was subsequently followed by two more children, each 22 months apart.
Need more proof? Well, let's see. I graduated from an Ivy League college in three years, primarily due the the fact that I was over it. I was done with accruing debt in the form of school loans and I wanted to start my "real life."
Oh, and then there's was that time that I ran my first 5K and followed it immediately by my first marathon. Right. That was a smart idea. Totally just skipped over the distances in between, because really, "Why wait until tomorrow for what you can do today?"
So, you get it. I don't like to wait. I don't like to see others doing the things I know I am capable of while I sit on the sidelines. I am not one to let opportunity to pass me by. It's just who I am.
So, of course, I played around with the idea of getting Marathon Redemption at Richmond. I mean, who wouldn't? My training partner is running. I've run the course tons of times before. I wouldn't have to travel for it. I'm already trained. It was almost a no-brainer. But, it's not like I emailed the race director to find out what it would take to switch from the 8K to the marathon, or anything (OK, maybe I did). But, after some contemplation and some advice from a good friend, I decided NOT to switch. And here's why ...
1. I have been looking forward to this 8K for an entire year. It is my favorite race distance (and my favorite 8K course).
2. My 8K PR is old and this course is notoriously fast. I have a much larger base that the last time I ran this distance and I am ready to crush my previous times.
3. By running the 8K, I get to be course support for J (who's running the half) and G (who's running the full). Since the 8K, starts at 7 a.m., I should be finished within 10 minutes of J starting his race at 7:30. So, once I cool down, I can run back on the course find him and run him to the finish (which I am super pumped for). Then, once I have dropped off J, I can run the course backwards again to find G, who starts the marathon at 8 a.m., and run her in as well. It's a perfect plan.
4. I am hosting Katye and Erin. And a completely exhausted post-marathon runner doesn't always make for the best host.
5. I am already registered for another marathon, SunTrust National Marathon, where I WILL get Marathon Redemption.
Now, all I need is a little strength to stick to my guns ...
Huh? Did you all think that I was considering it? Am I really that predictable? (G seems to think so.)
Here's the thing. I kind of lack patience. And I don't like to let an opportunity pass me by. Take for instance, my marriage, family and all that jazz.
If J had asked me to marry him as we were boarding the plane home from England (where we met), I would have said yes. I knew it was right. I was trusting my gut and my gut rarely fails me. Instead, J waited a whole 10 months to ask and we were married just after we had been together for two years (again, I would have done it sooner if I thought the parents would have approved.)
Then there is that matter of having children. J and I managed to wait a whole two months after our wedding to jump on that bandwagon. Dizzle was born a month before our first anniversary and she was subsequently followed by two more children, each 22 months apart.
Need more proof? Well, let's see. I graduated from an Ivy League college in three years, primarily due the the fact that I was over it. I was done with accruing debt in the form of school loans and I wanted to start my "real life."
Oh, and then there's was that time that I ran my first 5K and followed it immediately by my first marathon. Right. That was a smart idea. Totally just skipped over the distances in between, because really, "Why wait until tomorrow for what you can do today?"
So, you get it. I don't like to wait. I don't like to see others doing the things I know I am capable of while I sit on the sidelines. I am not one to let opportunity to pass me by. It's just who I am.
So, of course, I played around with the idea of getting Marathon Redemption at Richmond. I mean, who wouldn't? My training partner is running. I've run the course tons of times before. I wouldn't have to travel for it. I'm already trained. It was almost a no-brainer. But, it's not like I emailed the race director to find out what it would take to switch from the 8K to the marathon, or anything (OK, maybe I did). But, after some contemplation and some advice from a good friend, I decided NOT to switch. And here's why ...
1. I have been looking forward to this 8K for an entire year. It is my favorite race distance (and my favorite 8K course).
2. My 8K PR is old and this course is notoriously fast. I have a much larger base that the last time I ran this distance and I am ready to crush my previous times.
3. By running the 8K, I get to be course support for J (who's running the half) and G (who's running the full). Since the 8K, starts at 7 a.m., I should be finished within 10 minutes of J starting his race at 7:30. So, once I cool down, I can run back on the course find him and run him to the finish (which I am super pumped for). Then, once I have dropped off J, I can run the course backwards again to find G, who starts the marathon at 8 a.m., and run her in as well. It's a perfect plan.
4. I am hosting Katye and Erin. And a completely exhausted post-marathon runner doesn't always make for the best host.
5. I am already registered for another marathon, SunTrust National Marathon, where I WILL get Marathon Redemption.
Now, all I need is a little strength to stick to my guns ...
Monday, October 25, 2010
you wanted to know, questions 46-50 ...
When I had my 1,000 mile giveaway, a requirement for entry was to ask me a question. Any question. And I promised to answer them in a series of posts. Here are questions 46-50 ...
julie asked, "What is your favorite running quote?"
I'm not really sure it's a running quote, but I have always loved this one.
"Nothing’s better than the wind to your back, the sun in front of you, and your friends beside you.” ~ Aaron Douglas Trimble
Sounds like the perfect run to me ...
Anne asked, "How do you think you would deal with injury? The kind where you can't run for a while, maybe a long while?"
I've touched upon this before. And I'm not quite sure how I would handle it. I'm almost positive it would drive me CRAZY! I really fear injury. And not just because it sucks. But because I am scared about what it would do to me both mentally and physically.
You see, when I was 12, I broke my pelvis and dislocated my hip playing soccer. I was stuck in bed for three month (only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom and wash up - which I couldn't do alone). During that time, I ate to feel better. And I gained a ton of weight. Almost 50 pounds. The day of the pelvis break, I weighed 125 pounds. The day I went back to school (I had to be homeschooled while I healed), I weighed 170 pounds and hadn't grown an inch. And honestly, I am scared that if I ever had another long-term injury, it would happen again.
Running Diva Mom asked, "What time do you go to bed, knowing that you have been having to get up early every day for your runs? Do you ever have trouble getting to sleep?"
I usually start to fall asleep on the sofa between 9 and 9:30 p.m. And although I know I should go get in bed when I start to doze, I generally don't make it upstairs for about another hour (I tend to feel like I don't have enough energy to climb the stairs).
But, once I make my way to bed, I am usually out cold in a few minutes. My day is tiring and I like my sleep. The combination of those factors usually guarantees that I'm not hit with insomnia.
(Note: Although I go to bed by 10 most nights, I would go to bed by 8 if it was a perfect world.)
Cathleen asked, "Where is your favorite place to run in Richmond?"
Hands down. Belle Isle. The trails are flat and the views are scenic. I absolutely love it.
jamie.louise asked, "What do you drink/eat/ingest during a run?"
It depends on the run and the season.
During the Summer, I carry water with me on any run of four miles or more. In the Spring and Fall, it's on runs of over six miles. And in the Winter, it's on runs of 10 or more. I tend to drink during a run based on thirst and temperature is usually the number one factor that determines how thirsty I am.
As for food, I am loyal to Chocolate Outrage GU. During training runs, I take one every 6-8 miles and during races of 10 miles or over, I take one every 4-5 miles. And it MOSTLY works for me.
With that said, I would really like to hear all of your fueling strategies for the half distance and over. I know I need to start replacing sodium, but haven't found an effective method. So what are your thoughts?
julie asked, "What is your favorite running quote?"
I'm not really sure it's a running quote, but I have always loved this one.
"Nothing’s better than the wind to your back, the sun in front of you, and your friends beside you.” ~ Aaron Douglas Trimble
Sounds like the perfect run to me ...
Anne asked, "How do you think you would deal with injury? The kind where you can't run for a while, maybe a long while?"
I've touched upon this before. And I'm not quite sure how I would handle it. I'm almost positive it would drive me CRAZY! I really fear injury. And not just because it sucks. But because I am scared about what it would do to me both mentally and physically.
You see, when I was 12, I broke my pelvis and dislocated my hip playing soccer. I was stuck in bed for three month (only allowed to get up to go to the bathroom and wash up - which I couldn't do alone). During that time, I ate to feel better. And I gained a ton of weight. Almost 50 pounds. The day of the pelvis break, I weighed 125 pounds. The day I went back to school (I had to be homeschooled while I healed), I weighed 170 pounds and hadn't grown an inch. And honestly, I am scared that if I ever had another long-term injury, it would happen again.
Running Diva Mom asked, "What time do you go to bed, knowing that you have been having to get up early every day for your runs? Do you ever have trouble getting to sleep?"
I usually start to fall asleep on the sofa between 9 and 9:30 p.m. And although I know I should go get in bed when I start to doze, I generally don't make it upstairs for about another hour (I tend to feel like I don't have enough energy to climb the stairs).
But, once I make my way to bed, I am usually out cold in a few minutes. My day is tiring and I like my sleep. The combination of those factors usually guarantees that I'm not hit with insomnia.
(Note: Although I go to bed by 10 most nights, I would go to bed by 8 if it was a perfect world.)
Cathleen asked, "Where is your favorite place to run in Richmond?"
Hands down. Belle Isle. The trails are flat and the views are scenic. I absolutely love it.
jamie.louise asked, "What do you drink/eat/ingest during a run?"
It depends on the run and the season.
During the Summer, I carry water with me on any run of four miles or more. In the Spring and Fall, it's on runs of over six miles. And in the Winter, it's on runs of 10 or more. I tend to drink during a run based on thirst and temperature is usually the number one factor that determines how thirsty I am.
As for food, I am loyal to Chocolate Outrage GU. During training runs, I take one every 6-8 miles and during races of 10 miles or over, I take one every 4-5 miles. And it MOSTLY works for me.
With that said, I would really like to hear all of your fueling strategies for the half distance and over. I know I need to start replacing sodium, but haven't found an effective method. So what are your thoughts?
Sunday, October 24, 2010
degrees of separation ...
The other day, I saw a criticism of a parenting style on a social media website. The individual who made the judgments was called out and she defended her actions by saying that the person she was critical of was outside of her social circle. I took that to mean that, "it's OK to ridicule someone as long as they never find out." Maybe that's not what she was saying, but that's how I took it.
(Note: I am not saying that I have never said something negative about another person. I have. I just haven't ever broadcasted it so blatantly.)
Anyway, I responded to the situation by saying, "You never know who knows who." And I'm right. I am constantly amazed to see that I have many mutual Facebook friends with people who I didn't think had ever crossed paths. The world is small and the longer you are in it, the smaller it gets.
My run this morning proved that. G was running her last 22 miler before the Richmond Marathon. I decided to join her for the first 10 miles. The plan was simple. Park at the start and run to mile 10 where I would pick up 3L's car (she was joining G for the last 12) and drive it back to the finish. Easy peasy.
Except it wasn't. When I got to the car. It was locked. And I could see the keys on the floor. Crap! The group had already left, so there would be no catching up to them. So, I ran back to the SAG and bumped into a woman that I recognized from Dizzle and Doodle's race yesterday. I told her what had happened and she mentioned that her friend was running another mile and a half and driving back. AWESOME! It was agreed that we'd run a little further and her friend, T, would drive us back.
During the ride back to the start/finish, we talked about our marathon training, injuries, kids, pretty much a runner's "getting to know you" session. Then with about a half mile left, I mentioned that I would like to volunteer as a coach for the training team one year when I am not marathon training (adding that I am actually a certified coach).
At which point, T turned to me and said, "Oh, do you have a website?" My buddy, K, jumped in and said, "Yes. And she makes the cutest headbands too." Then, T looked at me and said, "Oh my God. You're TMB. I was on your website the other day. You're like famous." I snickered and said, "Yes, that's me. And look, now you get to tell everyone that you drove me back to my car when I was stranded."
It was funny. And weird. It's not the first time someone has recognized me from my blog or dailymile or my website. But, I'm not really used to it. And it ALWAYS makes me realize that even though I think I "know" my readers (at least my commenters), there are actually a lot more people out there that "know" me (and subsequently, my family) from all of this.
Fortunately, for me, I am a "tell it like it is" kind of person. The TMB you get here is the same one you'd get if you met me face-to-face. I'm honest and frank and I try my best to think before I speak. Because, you NEVER know who knows who ...
(Note: I am not saying that I have never said something negative about another person. I have. I just haven't ever broadcasted it so blatantly.)
Anyway, I responded to the situation by saying, "You never know who knows who." And I'm right. I am constantly amazed to see that I have many mutual Facebook friends with people who I didn't think had ever crossed paths. The world is small and the longer you are in it, the smaller it gets.
My run this morning proved that. G was running her last 22 miler before the Richmond Marathon. I decided to join her for the first 10 miles. The plan was simple. Park at the start and run to mile 10 where I would pick up 3L's car (she was joining G for the last 12) and drive it back to the finish. Easy peasy.
Except it wasn't. When I got to the car. It was locked. And I could see the keys on the floor. Crap! The group had already left, so there would be no catching up to them. So, I ran back to the SAG and bumped into a woman that I recognized from Dizzle and Doodle's race yesterday. I told her what had happened and she mentioned that her friend was running another mile and a half and driving back. AWESOME! It was agreed that we'd run a little further and her friend, T, would drive us back.
During the ride back to the start/finish, we talked about our marathon training, injuries, kids, pretty much a runner's "getting to know you" session. Then with about a half mile left, I mentioned that I would like to volunteer as a coach for the training team one year when I am not marathon training (adding that I am actually a certified coach).
At which point, T turned to me and said, "Oh, do you have a website?" My buddy, K, jumped in and said, "Yes. And she makes the cutest headbands too." Then, T looked at me and said, "Oh my God. You're TMB. I was on your website the other day. You're like famous." I snickered and said, "Yes, that's me. And look, now you get to tell everyone that you drove me back to my car when I was stranded."
It was funny. And weird. It's not the first time someone has recognized me from my blog or dailymile or my website. But, I'm not really used to it. And it ALWAYS makes me realize that even though I think I "know" my readers (at least my commenters), there are actually a lot more people out there that "know" me (and subsequently, my family) from all of this.
Fortunately, for me, I am a "tell it like it is" kind of person. The TMB you get here is the same one you'd get if you met me face-to-face. I'm honest and frank and I try my best to think before I speak. Because, you NEVER know who knows who ...
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