Monday, December 5, 2011

strength ...

Strength can manifest in a lot of different ways.

You can be physically strong.
You can be mentally strong.
You can be emotionally strong.

On some days, I am all three. On others, all strength eludes me.

Right now, I am mustering all of my strength to stay sane. I'm having a hard time focusing. My stomach is in knots. And the worst part is, my rock is feeling the same way. Uncertainty will do that to a person.

Maybe that's why I've been sick for what feels like an eternity. I'm using my strength elsewhere and my body can't fight back. Eventually, something has to give or you'll crack. Today, my run was the thing that ruptured.

7/10 of a mile in, I just couldn't do it. My body was screaming no and my brain didn't have the strength to fight it. I stopped and walked back to my car. I probably never should have shown up in the first place. I should have had the strength to take a rest day. But, some days you just need to run, or risk going insane.

16 comments:

Erica said...

In all honesty it is comforting to know that even the strongest people have a day where it is hard to find strength.....that being said you are one of the toughest people I know and whatever is happening you will find the strength to see it through...because well you rock like that! Hope all is well!!

fancy nancy said...

I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through a stressful time. I agree with Erica though...you are strong and you will get through!

Jessica (Pace of Me) said...

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. But if anyone can get through it, it's you and J. I know you know that in your heart, but it doesn't mean it's easy. Hang in there and you will be on the other side of this soon, stronger than ever I'm sure. Hope things work out soon! xxoo

MotherRunner said...

Hugs to you mama.. hang in there.

(Just) Trying is for Little Girls said...

Wow. That run should know that "you'll be back". Hugs.

Holly said...

Yesterday was one of those days for me as well. I should have gone out to run 8 and would have felt better if I did but I just couldn't. I hope you guys feel better soon and come out on the other side stronger!

Shellyrm ~ just a country runner said...

Wow you finally seem a little closer to human to me. Praying that strength returns, sanity remains and your bless filled life returns to a more normal (well normal for you, crazy awesome for others) soon.
*hugs*

Katie said...

some days you gotta dance...

MCM Mama said...

Hang in there! Thinking positive thoughts that whatever is stressing you guys out resolves quickly and in the best possible way. You know where to find me if I can do anything to help.

Pam said...

:(

If there's anything I hate in this world, it's uncertainty and just plain ol' not knowing what comes next. And that has been my world for about the past year. Hang in there, friend.

Meredith said...

Praying for strength and rest for you!

Running Backwards in High Heels said...

I hate those days! But, you'll be back and you'll dominate that run!! :)

Michelle said...

Damn. Sorry. You know that we are all "here"--in the bloggy spectrum of things. Know that life goes in ebbs and flos. You ARE strong, even when you feel weak. Hang in there. Give your body the rest it needs...the treadmill with the bells and whistles will still be there!

H Love said...

Poor girl. Sounds like you need some rest and peace. Whatever your struggle or stress..you wil get through it. Thinking of you!!
Tomorrow is a new day..a new run.

Marlene said...

I hope things settle down/work out soon. Good call on stopping the run.

Lesley @ racingitoff.com said...

So sorry for crappy uncertainty... There's actually nothing that puts me out of sorts more than uncertainty. I hope you get some answers for whatever it is very soon.