Truth be told, I am beautiful because I believe I am beautiful and I don't let anyone tell me otherwise. My beauty comes through in my powerful quads and strong shoulders. It can be seen in my eyes and my smile. But usually, I notice it in my freckles and the dimple on my cheek - both which remind me daily of my father.
And do you know what?
I saw all of those things when I weighed 220 pounds.
1999They've always been there. I did not become beautiful because I lost weight. What losing weight changed about me was my health, not beauty. It doesn't work that way.
2011But, even though I have, perhaps, an excessive amount of self worth, I am still to some extent tied to the number on the scale. Not because I need to weigh less or even want to, but because I fear that if I don't stay chained to the scale, one day everything I have worked so hard for might not be there anymore.
I fear that I could slip up and gain all the weight back. I think anyone who has lost a considerable amount of weight does. And it's a valid fear. Most people can't or don't maintain their weight loss over the long haul.
I have, with the exception of pregnancies, been maintaining for eight years. And I will do my best to maintain until my last day. But I promise, that no matter what lies ahead, I will still be beautiful. Because I allow myself to believe in my beauty.