pace revelations ...

I remember a time, back when G and I were training for our first Richmond Marathon, where we said to each other, "Wouldn't it be so awesome to just run eight minute miles and have it be no big deal?"

At the time, we were logging a lot of runs somewhere between a 10:00 and 10:30 pace. It felt hard. 8:00 miles seemed light years away. But, we kept running. Even if we'd never be fast, at least we were having a good time.

Fast forward two years to the present, G and I are training for another Richmond Marathon. It will be her 3rd marathon and my 6th (NYC will be my 5th, just six days prior). On Sunday, we met at MTT for a 12 mile run (I'd go on to run 16). It was just a typical group run, except for one thing. It was only 54 degrees outside. A huge departure from the 75 degree starts we had become accustomed to.

We started with the posse and Birch, who has a tendency to quicken the pace. Right around the end of the first mile, I tried to reign in G by saying, "Um, this 8:38 pace is great and all, but some of us have 16 on the schedule today." I think she missed my comment, but less than a mile later, she had separated from Birch and we fell into a comfortable pace. So, comfortable, that I didn't look at my watch again for seven miles.

By mile 9, when I finally checked our pace, G and I had split from the rest of the posse. Some were running faster, some slower. As my Garmin, clicked over from 8.99 to 9, I looked at it and asked G how she was feeling. She said, "Really good, actually. You?" To which I replied, "Yeah, I feel great. Weird, because I'm pretty sure we can't talk at an eight minute pace."

We both laughed. The pace on our watches: 8:08

In May of 2009, my 5K PR pace was 8:29.

Somewhere in the last two years, we became those runners who could run an 8:00 pace and have it be no big deal. Yes, by the end, it felt hard. It should. It's running, not napping. I finished that 16 miler with an average pace of 8:35 and buckets full of pride.

Afterwards, I got to thinking. People ask me all the time why I run so much. I usually just say, because I love it, which is true. But, Sunday's run really exemplifies why I run.

I run because it allows me to push my limits and continually improve. It gives me a firm, measurable achievement. It shows me that hard work pays off and that I can be better than I was yesterday.

I don't run to be thin. I don't run to eat. I don't run to get away from it all.

I run to be better. A better athlete. A better mother. A better wife. A better me.

It's as simple as that.

why I love my RoadID ...

Since I told you all about Doodle's RoadID obsession earlier this week, I thought I would share why I love my RoadIDs so much (I have pink, yellow and purple ones). A few weeks ago, Scott at OutsidePR and the people at RoadID helped to make me a safer runner, wife and mother. They sent me this beauty (which I haven't taken off since it arrived).

It's pretty, right? Thought so. That's why Doodle wanted one so bad. (And I did get her and her sisters each one. Although, they all decided pink was the best choice for them.) Anyway, so unless you have been living in a dark hole, you know that EVERYONE needs a RoadID. And by everyone, I mean everyone. (What? You don't have one yet? What are you thinking? Get to shopping. In fact, here's a coupon code for $1 off - ThanksJeremy746525)

If you ever step out of your house, for any reason whatsoever, you would be safer if you wore a RoadID. It speaks for you, when you can't speak for yourself. And that is just one reason why I love mine. But there are plenty more ...

I love my RoadID because it allows me to run worry-free.

I love my RoadID because it doesn't clash with my outfits.

I love my RoadID because I believe in the owners' mission - to educate all outdoor enthusiasts about the vital importance of ID.

I love my RoadID because it doesn't chafe me.

I love my RoadID because it's design allows for choices. Like which color band will I wear today? Purple, yellow, blue, green, black ...

I love my RoadID because it comes with top notch customer service. Something that is often hard to find.

I love my RoadID because life happens. And there is nothing you can do to stop it. So, why do you love your RoadID?

it's my bloggy anniversary ...

Two years ago today, I started Racing With Babes by posting this. I'm pretty sure that when I wrote it, I was positive that no one but my immediate family was ever going to see it. And I think I was right. At least initially. It was two months before anyone even left me a comment. And even then, it was someone who could have just told me face to face. But I didn't care, I figured if nothing else, one day my kids would read this and maybe they would have a better understanding of their childhood and the choices I've made for myself and for them.

Over the course of the last two years, I have shared ups and downs. Sadness and joy. Successes and failures. And just plain silliness. But most of all, I have chronicled my journey as a wife, a mom and runner. I have shared my moments. The way I see them. And sometimes, when you do this, you don't see the whole picture. And that's why for this special post, I have asked the three people who know me the best in those three areas of my life (my hubby, my mom and my training partner) to share with you my greatest strength and greatest weakness (with my color commentary, of course).

So, here it goes.

J's take on me as a wife:

Strength

There are so many great things that I can say about my wife that it’s really hard to pick just one. She truly is everything and more that I could have imagined as a wife. She’s organized, patient and committed to what she does. If I had to pick one trait about Tonia that is her greatest as a wife it would have to be her understanding of and support for me.

Tonia is my rock. She is 100% supportive of me and knows how to pick me up if I’m having an off day. She gets my sense of humor and no matter how ridiculous I can be or how fired up I get (mainly watching sports) she gets it and let’s me be me.

Opportunity (Obviously, he works in the corporate world ...)

While Tonia is a great wife and I wouldn’t change anything about her, I think that her biggest opportunity is that she sometimes puts herself and her ambitions on the back burner. T is a smart cookie and can accomplish whatever she sets out to do, but sometimes she decides not to do things because she doesn’t want to take away from her time with me. I am grateful for this, but want her to know that I am behind her as she is behind me.

I’ll add a second item (light of course) and it is that she is so focused on being a great mom, which she absolutely is, that she never decides to dress it up with some nice clothes and make-up. I have no problem with this, but Tonia should know she can do as she pleases. Lastly, I think she’s addicted to running clothes as I think she is going to run out of color combinations to match up between running skirts, socks, shirts, hats and accessories. (That was three things wasn't it. What happened to following the rules. And in my defense, I wear my running gear like 90% of my day. So I might as well look cute.)

I love you Tonia! (Aw, I love you too!)

Back on task. Here's what my mom had to say about me as a mother:

Tonia’s Greatest Strength as a mom
　
When asked to write this, I thought how on earth am I going to pick one particular strength of Tonia’s, when there are so many that stand out. Picking one is like finding that pea under your mattress or the needle in the hay stack. We all know that raising a child is one of the most difficult yet rewarding jobs one can have and as parents we need to know how to keep control, as we teach respect, passion and love. My daughter is an amazing teacher of life. She takes pride in herself and her children.

So having said that I now have to pick her greatest strength, and I would without a doubt choose her patience. Tonia has this unlabored talent of keeping her cool at the hottest of moments. Fighting with her children is virtually unheard of, but instead she goes head first into the conversation with a calm non judgmental attitude. Giving her child the opportunity to explain the situation before placing judgment or punishment. She approaches her children and the many moods that children go through with "just another day" attitude. I have always taken pride in the way that I have raised my children, but I can honestly say that Tonia has it hands down over me and its mostly because of her patience.

Her Greatest weakness

This is actually a harder search for my mind. There aren’t many if any weakness I can think of, so I think I will have to go with television…I know lame right, but yes television, her children have an obsession with it. They love watching and learning which is cool, but they also stand not one foot away from it, which drives me insane, and doesn’t for one moment bother Tonia. So is this a weakness? I’m not sure but it sure as hell bothers me. (OK. So my kids watch TV REALLY CLOSE to the TV. But do you know who else watches way too much TV? Me! And do you know who one of the most active and intelligent people I know is? Right. Me. And I'm not tooting my own horn. I have an Ivy League degree. Just saying.)

And finally, G's take on me as a runner:

Before I talk about T’s greatest strengths and weaknesses, I would like to say that I admire her more than any person ever featured on the front of Runners World, Self, or any other magazine. Not only because she looks hot in her running skirt, but also because she is FIERCE and COOL at the same time. T, it’s an honor to be your running mate. Congratulations on another great year of blogging, running and mommy-ing. (Look at her buttering me up ...)

T’s greatest strength as a runner is the strength of her “heart”. Some people mistake this as purely “competitive nature”, but I know what I see on each and every run. Truly, if there is one thing I know about T, it’s that she knows the meaning of DIG DEEP, and if she does that and doesn’t find what she needs, she will just DIG DEEPER. I confess that I have used this against her and when she tells me she has nothing left, I simply push myself to run a half step ahead of her. She never falls behind, she just pushes harder to pass me. Maybe I’m not such a good friend after all, and I probably won’t be invited to run the last mile of a half marathon with her ever again, or write on her blog page again for that matter....

T’s greatest weakness as a runner is hard for me to put into words. Partly because I am T’s cheerleader, biggest fan, and teammate and telling someone their weakness isn’t a good way to keep any of those titles. But, after thinking it over, T, there is something I’ve wanted to say to you for a while, and didn’t know how to express. I’m certain that with patience and time I would find a nice flowery Hallmark card that conveyed this message, but I’m a mom of 3, I don’t go into card stores, so... I will just say it like it is: You’re better at TRAINING than you are at RACING. The training system you follow is a prescribed regimen of dependable, inoffensive, risk-free paced miles designed to ensure that you finish every training run. There is nothing wrong with this, except that isn’t your race style at all. You race like an ex-BMX Junkie with nothing to lose and something to prove. I would know. The day to falter, see spots, and get light headed is NOT on race day, it’s on training day. I believe that this weakness will be your greatest strength when I write this post next year, because you’re going to either learn to race with this same controlled pacing OR you are going to inject some of your race day FEROCITY into your training. Bring it on. (Fine. I can't even dispute that. It's 100% true. Probably would have picked the same thing for myself.)

WOW! I can say nothing but thank you. Thank you for being my support team. Thank you for risking getting me upset by throwing my flaws out there (especially J who has to live in the same house as me.) Just thank you.

And thank you to all of you who listen to my ramblings day after day. And thank you to all of you who chime in with your two cents. And all of you who lurk in the background (you know, you should really speak up. I don't bite and I love to know you're there ...) I hope that you've enjoyed my family's journey as much as I have. We'll do our best to continue to provide you with a fair share of chaos ...

the real reason I run ...

I know I've said that I run because it is my passion. Because it has made me a better wife, mother and me. All of that is true, but if we are being honest, there's more to this story. The real reason I run might just be because of these ...

Say hello to my birthday cupcakes! (courtesy of my hubby who braved the snow to get them.) Talk about yumtastic. And high calorie. Now, you can see why one of my 2010 goals is to eat less than 50 cupcakes. If I ate anymore than that I'd never do anything but run ...

pancake flat ...

I have mentioned it before. But in case you missed it, I have no chest. I am pancake flat. Once, I went into Victoria's Secret and they told me that they didn't carry my size. When I was pregnant (and nursing) I was slightly more "blessed." But quickly after weaning Dilly, it was back to the status quo.

Recently, Dizzle has become more body aware. She is noting difference in people and is quite interested in why we are the way we are. Yesterday, (while sitting on my stomach) she looked down and said to me, "Mommy, did you have your boobies taken off?" I nearly choked from laughing so hard.

Once I could contain myself, I simply replied, "No, Dizzle. But now that I don't feed Dilly anymore, they don't need to be so big," But really, I wanted to give it to her straight and tell her that she and her sisters had sucked the life out of me. But I thought that might be too harsh.

firsts and lasts ...

Dilly - One Day Old

Dilly - One Year Old

Dear Dilly,

It's amazing, but somehow I blinked and my last baby is suddenly one. You'd think that after going through the first year with each of your sisters, I would have known exactly what to expect during yours. But, I'd be lying if I said that I did. Sure, some things were easier, some things less confusing, but almost nothing was what I expected. Which, if we are being honest, is exactly what I should have expected.

From day one, you were your own person. When people would ask me who you looked like, or who you reminded me of, I always answered, "I'm not sure. I guess she's most like Dilly." And that's still true. Sure, you share traits with each of your sisters, but you inject so much of your own personality in that you really don't resemble either.

There are a million things about you that make you the Dilly that I love. These are just a few of my favorites.

I love that you are the EASIEST child ever. You can ask anyone. You never cry. OK, maybe you cry, but it's usually only when you hurt yourself. Like last week when you fell down, bashed your head and instantly looked like you were growing a horn. (No worries, you're fine.)

I love that you know how to play me. That when you want your way, you'll look up at me with those big brown eyes, in a way that is eerily similar to Puss-N-Boots from Shrek.

I love that you act so much older than you are. You have an immense amount of confidence. And truly believe that you can do anything you put your mind to, even if that means climbing the banister (seriously, I have caught you climbing the banister. You can't even walk yet. Give me a break.)

I love that you do everything on your own time. Prime example, drinking from a cup. You would rather dehydrate yourself than drink on my schedule. So, I weaned you. And you held your ground. Refusing to drink anything. I said, "Have it your way." And you did.

I love that you love kisses. There is nothing better than slobbery baby kisses and you are happy to serve them up to anyone who is interested.

I love that you admire your sisters. Sure, they might not always be the best examples, but I could sit for hours watching you watch them with such love. I hope that you feel the same way for the rest of your life.

I love that I can always calm you down or make you laugh by singing, "I Got A Feeling," by the Black Eyed Peas. It's your favorite and to watch you dance to it, is the best.

I love that you let me parent you the way I have. That you quickly adapted to everything I have thrown at you. In a way, I have never seen you as a baby. I've tried to treat you like I treat your older sisters. And I think it has worked. We've found our groove. You've helped me become a more confident and a more relaxed parent. And I thank you for that.

Dilly, watching you transition in your first year from a newborn to a toddler has been bittersweet for me. Most of your firsts were also my lasts. The first time you took a bath was the last time I would ever give a first bath. The first time you "cried it out" was the last time I would ever Ferberize a child. Your first meal, your first smile, your first attempts of everything are all my last experiences of babyhood. It makes me want to smile and cry, all at the same time.

I am excited for all that is in store for us. I can't wait to see how you will continue to grow and blossom. How you will mesh with your sisters. How you will grow up. But for now, I will relish in the fact that today my baby is one. No longer a baby, but not quite a big kid. Happy Birthday Dilly! I love you more than you will ever know.

xoxo,
Mom

determination ...

"I ran and ran and ran every day, and I acquired this sense of determination, this sense of spirit that I would never give up, no matter what else happened," - Wilma Rudolph

After writing about pushing my ginormous triple stroller on my runs, I got a comment that read, "The things you do to get your runs in are amazing." It really got me thinking. I think the things I do to get my runs in are just the things that NEED to be done to get my runs in. Nothing amazing (although, I do LOVE complements). For me, they have become commonplace. Running is not a choice. It is a crucial part of my life. 5 runs a week, sometimes more, NEVER EVER less. Missing a run is not an option.

Now, I know that skipping a workout or cutting a run short isn't the end of the world. It's not going to make a lick of difference on race day, just like finishing every last mile on my training plan isn't going to get me a BQ. But I have made a commitment to myself. A commitment to be the best me every single day. On every single run. So, if that means pushing a 140+ pound stroller, exchanging sleeping in for early morning long runs or logging 22 miles on the treadmill, well then that's what has to get done.

It's just about determination. The determination to always strive to be better than you were yesterday. The determination to show your children that you can get pure joy out of something, even if you NEVER walk away as the champion. The determination to prove everyone who has ever doubted you wrong, even if that means proving yourself wrong as well. And although, it may not be the reason I started running, it is without a doubt this determination that keeps me running.

I may never run a five minute mile. Or log 70 miles a week. I'm not going to win a race or even beat all of my friends. But none of that matters. Running is my passion. A passion I want to share with others. It is more than just a hobby. It is a force that has forever changed my life. Running has allowed me to be the best mom and wife and me that I can possibly be. It's not a chore. Or a job (because I am WAY TOO SLOW for that). Or even a requirement. It is just the simple act of placing one foot in front of the other. A simple act that helps define me ...