funk ...

I'm in a funk.

It's absurd. 

I'm a freaking Honey Badger who's in a funk.

And there seems to be nothing I can do to shake it.

It started a few weeks ago and little by little has been consuming me.

Yesterday, I gave in.

Feeling bad and facing mental demons, I started my long run. Two and a half miles later, I couldn't fight the negativity anymore. I stopped the treadmill. Took a shower. And slept for 12 hours.

I woke up feeling even worse.

It was a total fail.
 
I know exactly what's bothering me.

I'm feeling inadequate.

Not only compared to those around me, but compared to my self-imposed expectations.

I feel like I am doing a lot of things decently, but nothing superbly.

And I freaking hate it.

It's hard to be positive all of the time.

It's hard to always be "on."

And it's really hard to admit your weaknesses.

I know mine.

Now I just need to find away to eliminate them.

sore arms ...

With three kids under age five in the house, things can get pretty messy. I have been trying to get the girls to at least help me clean up their toys. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

Yesterday, Doodle refused to help. I asked her why. And she responded with this doozy, "I can't clean up. My arms will hurt."

Seriously? Lifting up your toys will hurt your arms? Well, we wouldn't want that to happen. Perhaps, things would be better if I just got rid of all those toys. What Doodle? You don't like that idea either?