My Little Artist - For as long as I can remember, Dizzle has been artistically inclined. She loves to sing and dance and be the center of attention. I am kind of at a loss with all of this. Although, I sang in the church choir as a child and my high school chorus years later, it was never a passion of mine. I never thought, for even a second, that it was anything I would continue into adulthood.
But, Dizzle, well she's a different story. If you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up, she might say a ballet teacher. Or a ballerina. Maybe she'll answer, a singer. And sometimes, it's a songwriter. But regardless, it's always something related to performing arts.
Last year, when she was seven, she wrote her first song with real lyrics. You know, not the conversational singing that usually fills our days. It went like this:
We tried to find a vocal coach for her, but we weren't able to find anyone who would work with her on a one-on-one basis until she's 10. She was bummed, but a few months later, we found out that her old music teacher had started a group called, Uke 'N Roll, where she could learn to play the ukulele, sing and music theory.
Four weeks ago, she started lessons. On Sunday, she'll be part of a larger ensemble of 25 ukulele players who will perform at the Richmond Folk Festival. Last night, I recorded her practicing so my sister could see. I think she did awesome. Especially considering she's been at it for less than a month.
Pretty epic, right? It makes me excited to see what she'll be like at the end of 4 months. And 4 years ...
Off-Season Successes - Since I have officially entered my off-season (something I've not done in the past), I'm finding I can get into this whole "low-key" training thing. My workouts are shorter (5-6 hours of cardio per week). I'm strength training consistently (3 days a week) and I'm not obsessing about my eating (huge for me). For the first time in probably a decade, I'm not food journaling. I'm just eating (mostly) clean. I'm not freaking out about pace or heart rate or mileage. It's kind of refreshing, which I now realize is probably the reason for an off-season in the first place.
Hawaii - We leave for Oahu in 9 days! I don't think I've been excited this much for anything in a long time. But, I do kind of wish that someone else would pack for me ...
Thursday, October 10, 2013
Wednesday, October 2, 2013
September Rewind ...
Miles Run: 42.8 miles. One day I will show my run dominance again. Just not today ...
Bike Miles Rode: 143.8 miles
Current Colors: Orange and Pink.
Bike Miles Rode: 143.8 miles
Swim Meters Completed: 13881 meters or 8.62 miles.
Rest Days Taken: 10, including an entire week off after Rev3 Cedar Point
Highest Run Mileage Week: 9/2-9/8: 19.2 miles
Highest Bike Mileage Week: 9/29/8: 69.8 miles
Highest Swim Volume Week: 9/2-9/8: 6437 meters or 4 miles
Long Runs Completed (1 hr+ miles): 1
Current Book: Right now, I am reading Unwholly by Shusterman. But I also finished a few other books in September. (Note: For those of you who have asked, if it's on this or any of my lists, I would recommend the book. If I don't like the story or the book doesn't grasp my attention, I don't bother finishing it, thus it wouldn't be listed here.)
- BZRK by Grant
- Mortal Instruments: City of Glass by Clare
- Mortal Instruments: City of Fallen Angels by Clare
- Mortal Instruments: City of Lost Souls by Clare
- Where She Went by Forman
- Clockwork Angel by Clare
- Clockwork Prince by Clare
- Clockwork Princess by Clare
Current Colors: Orange and Pink.
Current Drink: Tea. Hot tea. And the weather is finally appropriate for it.
Current Song: Roar - Katy Perry
Current Triumph: I am back to strength training and crushing it. Off-season is kind of epic that way.
Current Blessing: Health, happiness and love. I've got all three.
Current Excitement: We are going to Hawaii in 17 days! So freaking excited.
2013 To Do List:
Fitness:
- 140.6. That is all. - Yeah, not going to happen this year.
- Make time for strength training. Don't let training loads eliminate strength workouts completely. And stick to strength training in a group, it keeps you accountable. - Getting back to this.
- Switch to time-based/HR training. Despite my knowledge of training paces, I have a hard time sticking to them. I'm hoping this will help me train more effectively. - I'm kind of over the HR aspect of this. Summer temps alone make this suck.
- Log 4,500 cumulative run, bike and swim miles. Up 485 from 2012. - As of October 2nd, 2390.17 miles logged. Not looking good at this point.
- Race a 10K with a finish time much faster than your
very datedcurrent PR of 53:17. I never managed to register for a 10K in 2012 and I'm not sure where it will fit in this year, but it's on my radar. - No progress on this one. But, it does look like I will run one in 2014. - Set a new PR in the Half Marathon, currently 1:57:06. I totally blew this one in 2012 and will likely only have one good shot at it in 2013.- Fail. Epic fail.
- Run a 5K with Dizzle and Doodle, even if that means tricking them into it. - We really need to get on this.
- Eat like a gluten-free athlete. After struggling with health issues much of 2012, removing the gluten has been key in alleviating the symptoms. Don't be swayed by the lure of wheat. Or cake.- On point, like usual.
- Find the race day (and training) nutrition plan that works for me.- Ding, ding, ding!
- Consume no more than 18 desserts from Shyndigz. This number worked well in 2012 and helped me cut back on my serious cake addiction. Plus, their gluten-free menu is limited, so I shouldn't be tempted as often. - As of October 2nd, 14 desserts consumed.
- Drink at least 100oz of water per day.- Oh, heck yeah!
- Only say yes to the projects you REALLY want to work on. An honest no is much better than a halfhearted yes. - Check.
- Stick to our budget. We've lived credit card (and credit card debt) free for 11 months. No reason to go back now. - Double Check.
- Ignore your impulses. Take time to process the true value of the things you are filling your space/life with. - Yes and no. Lots of pondering this one recently ...
- Figure out what to do with my hair. Keep the mohawk or grow it out. I'm taking opinions on this one.- Nothing but trims to help my hair grow in a normal pattern since May!
- Continue to balance family life, training and now, work.- Check.
- Prioritize and be a good example for the people in your life. - Like quadruple check!
- Help and support J and the kids in reaching their goals. We are a team and that must always be the primary focus of our lives. No one should have to sacrifice so that someone else can reach their goal. If a balance can't be found, it's not worth pursuing.- I would never waiver on this one!
Monday, September 30, 2013
I am not your servant, I am your teacher ...
Why yes, that is my child with the unbrushed hair and the untied shoes. Thanks for noticing. I'm quite proud of how I sent her to school this morning, although I know that she is less than thrilled.
Sure, she was crying when she walked out the door. But, at least she walked out the door before her father pulled out of the driveway. Because, if I had been driving, that wouldn't have been the case. I've left without her before. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
For some reason, she seems to think that it is my responsibility to make sure she is ready for school in the morning. She often expects me to pack her lunch (I make the food. I refuse to assemble the actual lunchbox), pack her bag and make sure she has everything she needs for the day. Funny. I don't remember that being part of the job description.
Diz, as far as I can recall, I am here to protect you. To love you. To raise you with values and an appreciation for the world around you. To give you a place to live and food to eat. After that, I'm pretty sure everything else is optional.
What? You think that's unfair? You think that I am out to get you because I refuse to baby you day in and day out?
That my dear, is where you are wrong.
I am not being mean.
I am not being unfair.
I do not wake each day plotting against you.
And I most definitely do not "do this to you EVERYDAY!," like you most eloquently said this morning as you struggled to get out the door. No my dear, you do that to yourself. You and you alone.
You are old enough to wake up each and every morning without me yelling at you. Consider yourself lucky that I check back to make sure you haven't fallen back asleep.
You are old enough to find an outfit to wear each and subsequently get yourself dressed each and every day. Consider yourself lucky that I do not yet require you to wash or purchase all of those outfits. It's coming. Be warned.
You are old enough to make yourself a healthy breakfast and to eat that breakfast in time to leave. Consider yourself lucky that you have food to eat. Some children aren't as fortunate.
You are old enough to pack your backpack, your lunchbox and whatever else there is to pack before heading out the door. It's not my job to know where all of your stuff is. Consider yourself lucky that your mom is OCD enough to have a strong grasp on where things are. Otherwise, your mornings would be even more stress inducing.
You are old enough to brush and style your hair. Consider yourself lucky that I don't just shave your head to save us all the drama you dish out each morning. Trust me, it would be easier for all of us.
You are old enough to tie your shoes and clean your glasses. Consider yourself lucky that I am willing to give you reminders to do both. I am not required to do so.
It is not my job to do any of these things. I am your mother. Not your servant. I love you endlessly, but I do not strive to make you soft, to convince you that you will always be waited upon, or to give you a false impression on what lies ahead for you when you leave our home. I will not do you that disservice.
The world is full of responsibilities. There are already many of which you are capable. And I expect, no demand, that you live up to those responsibilities. You need to learn to manage your time. You need to learn to face the consequences of forgetting to complete a task or showing up late. I will not always be there to protect you. These lessons I am teaching you now will help you for a lifetime. I'm not trying to be mean. I am trying to show you how the world works. And sometimes, the real world sucks.
So, the next time you are crying because you didn't give yourself enough time to get completely ready for school, remember that you did it to yourself. You didn't wake up early enough or you didn't pay attention to the clock. Not me. Not your father. And take stock in the fact that I will send you out the door with messy hair, untied shoes and your homework still on the table, each and every time.
Diz, that is my job - to teach you about consequences, not to do everything for you. Because I love you enough to know that consequences are exactly what you need.
Sure, she was crying when she walked out the door. But, at least she walked out the door before her father pulled out of the driveway. Because, if I had been driving, that wouldn't have been the case. I've left without her before. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
For some reason, she seems to think that it is my responsibility to make sure she is ready for school in the morning. She often expects me to pack her lunch (I make the food. I refuse to assemble the actual lunchbox), pack her bag and make sure she has everything she needs for the day. Funny. I don't remember that being part of the job description.
Diz, as far as I can recall, I am here to protect you. To love you. To raise you with values and an appreciation for the world around you. To give you a place to live and food to eat. After that, I'm pretty sure everything else is optional.
What? You think that's unfair? You think that I am out to get you because I refuse to baby you day in and day out?
That my dear, is where you are wrong.
I am not being mean.
I am not being unfair.
I do not wake each day plotting against you.
And I most definitely do not "do this to you EVERYDAY!," like you most eloquently said this morning as you struggled to get out the door. No my dear, you do that to yourself. You and you alone.
You are old enough to wake up each and every morning without me yelling at you. Consider yourself lucky that I check back to make sure you haven't fallen back asleep.
You are old enough to find an outfit to wear each and subsequently get yourself dressed each and every day. Consider yourself lucky that I do not yet require you to wash or purchase all of those outfits. It's coming. Be warned.
You are old enough to make yourself a healthy breakfast and to eat that breakfast in time to leave. Consider yourself lucky that you have food to eat. Some children aren't as fortunate.
You are old enough to pack your backpack, your lunchbox and whatever else there is to pack before heading out the door. It's not my job to know where all of your stuff is. Consider yourself lucky that your mom is OCD enough to have a strong grasp on where things are. Otherwise, your mornings would be even more stress inducing.
You are old enough to brush and style your hair. Consider yourself lucky that I don't just shave your head to save us all the drama you dish out each morning. Trust me, it would be easier for all of us.
You are old enough to tie your shoes and clean your glasses. Consider yourself lucky that I am willing to give you reminders to do both. I am not required to do so.
It is not my job to do any of these things. I am your mother. Not your servant. I love you endlessly, but I do not strive to make you soft, to convince you that you will always be waited upon, or to give you a false impression on what lies ahead for you when you leave our home. I will not do you that disservice.
The world is full of responsibilities. There are already many of which you are capable. And I expect, no demand, that you live up to those responsibilities. You need to learn to manage your time. You need to learn to face the consequences of forgetting to complete a task or showing up late. I will not always be there to protect you. These lessons I am teaching you now will help you for a lifetime. I'm not trying to be mean. I am trying to show you how the world works. And sometimes, the real world sucks.
So, the next time you are crying because you didn't give yourself enough time to get completely ready for school, remember that you did it to yourself. You didn't wake up early enough or you didn't pay attention to the clock. Not me. Not your father. And take stock in the fact that I will send you out the door with messy hair, untied shoes and your homework still on the table, each and every time.
Diz, that is my job - to teach you about consequences, not to do everything for you. Because I love you enough to know that consequences are exactly what you need.
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
these kids ...
These kids.
They can be rude.
And loud.
And impatient.
They fight.
They make messes.
They intentionally disobey.
Some days, I want to punch them.
Some days, they drive me bonkers.
Some days, I can not believe how annoying they can be.
But then I get a reminder.
A reminder of how lucky we are.
A reminder that not everyone is as blessed as we may be.
A reminder that time is fleeting and we should appreciate every second.
So, instead of freaking out on them, I apologize.
For overreacting.
For letting my emotions get the best of me.
For not setting a good example of how they should behave.
And then, I hug them.
And kiss them.
And remind them that I am a safe place that will always be there for them.
These kids.
They are my everything.
Monday, September 23, 2013
not the best mommy song ...
Last night, Dilly got in trouble for teasing, and subsequently, assaulting her oldest sister. As punishment, I sent her to bed early. Not by an hour or even half. By a mere 15 minutes. Barely any time at all.
However, she didn't see it that way.
For every second of those 15 minutes, she screamed. And cried. And pleaded. To no avail, mind you.
When the clock hit 6:30 and I went upstairs to tell her sisters that it was bedtime, Dilly was still flailing on her bedroom floor. Without looking at her, I told her to go to the bathroom and then get in bed. Through her tears, she muttered something about life being unfair.
A few minutes later, I noticed that she was still in the bathroom. When I got closer, Dilly was talking to herself. Hearing what she was saying to her reflection, I called J over. Within moments, we (well at least, I) were crying from laughter. Dilly's monologue, which had taken a singing tone, was going on something like this.
This is so unfair.
My mommy is not the best mommy,
'Cause she didn't let me snuggle with my Daddy-Do.
She is not the best mommy today.
It went on after that, much to the same note. Basically, I am horrible. She did nothing wrong. And I will be forever blamed.
If it wasn't so freaking cute, I might have been hurt. But, don't worry, I got my revenge. I was kneeling at the door when she finally opened it. The look on her face said that she knew I had heard every last word out of her mouth. It was awesome. Even if it wasn't my finest parenting moment ...
However, she didn't see it that way.
For every second of those 15 minutes, she screamed. And cried. And pleaded. To no avail, mind you.
When the clock hit 6:30 and I went upstairs to tell her sisters that it was bedtime, Dilly was still flailing on her bedroom floor. Without looking at her, I told her to go to the bathroom and then get in bed. Through her tears, she muttered something about life being unfair.
A few minutes later, I noticed that she was still in the bathroom. When I got closer, Dilly was talking to herself. Hearing what she was saying to her reflection, I called J over. Within moments, we (well at least, I) were crying from laughter. Dilly's monologue, which had taken a singing tone, was going on something like this.
This is so unfair.
My mommy is not the best mommy,
'Cause she didn't let me snuggle with my Daddy-Do.
She is not the best mommy today.
It went on after that, much to the same note. Basically, I am horrible. She did nothing wrong. And I will be forever blamed.
If it wasn't so freaking cute, I might have been hurt. But, don't worry, I got my revenge. I was kneeling at the door when she finally opened it. The look on her face said that she knew I had heard every last word out of her mouth. It was awesome. Even if it wasn't my finest parenting moment ...
Thursday, September 19, 2013
Three Things Thursday ...
Strength - Over the summer, I let my strength training slide. With the kids at home full time, it was hard enough to get in all my training for Rev3 Cedar Point HalfRev, let alone add lifting into the mix. But, now that I have begun off-season training, I decided it was time to return to Beast Mode.
The funny thing about Beast Mode is that you don't realize how far away you are from it when you first return. I had this vision in my head where I went back to the gym and lifted like I never took a day off. Unfortunately, for me, this wasn't the case. My workout went a little like this ...
First up, front squats. I'm thinking my single rep max is 205, so obviously, I can do 135 for seven. I set up my rack and begin. By rep number five, I was questioning whether I could even finish the last two with good form, not to mention the fact that I still had two more sets.
I barely finished and quickly removed 20 pounds from the bar. 115. Okay, I can do this. Yeah, not so much. I finished that set and yet again removed another 20 pounds.
95 pounds. Easy peasy. Probably where I should have started. Too bad my ego got in the way.
After that, I grabbed a 25 pound kettlebell and some floor space. I was planning on doing 15 KB swings and eight pushups. As many rounds as possible in 10 minutes. I was off like a bat out of hell. And then the repetition caught up to me. My legs were already spent before I started and my shoulders kind of wanted to kill me. It was epic. Somehow, I managed nine rounds.
Ready to be done, I walked outside to meet my friend for a four mile run, which I ultimately ended up hobbling through since my legs were no longer functioning.
Ever since, I've been sidestepping up the stairs and bracing the wall when I sit down. It feel good to be back.
School - So, Dizzle and Doodle are into their third week of school and I am still left with the nagging feeling that we may not have made the right decision sending them (especially Dizzle) this year. Long story short, I know my kids and I know how they are motivated (and unmotivated). I know how they best learn and I know what distracts them. And I really know when they are not being challenged.
Yes, I realize it's early in the year. And yes, I realize that every teacher has their methods. But, there is so much wasted time and effort that it drives me bananas. Fortunately, I don't mind being that annoying parent that teachers dread getting an email from or seeing in the hallway. If I don't advocate for my children, no one will. And I intend on doing so until I am on board with what's going on.
Hawaii - In exactly 30 days, I will be here.
It's the first really big trip (Disney aside) that we've taken since our wedding/honeymoon almost 10 years ago. It will be the first time the girls will be on a plane for more than two and a half hours (Our flight out has a leg that is over 10 hours!) and it will hopefully be amazing. So, my question for you is, "Have you ever been to Oahu? What are your must dos?"
The funny thing about Beast Mode is that you don't realize how far away you are from it when you first return. I had this vision in my head where I went back to the gym and lifted like I never took a day off. Unfortunately, for me, this wasn't the case. My workout went a little like this ...
First up, front squats. I'm thinking my single rep max is 205, so obviously, I can do 135 for seven. I set up my rack and begin. By rep number five, I was questioning whether I could even finish the last two with good form, not to mention the fact that I still had two more sets.
I barely finished and quickly removed 20 pounds from the bar. 115. Okay, I can do this. Yeah, not so much. I finished that set and yet again removed another 20 pounds.
95 pounds. Easy peasy. Probably where I should have started. Too bad my ego got in the way.
After that, I grabbed a 25 pound kettlebell and some floor space. I was planning on doing 15 KB swings and eight pushups. As many rounds as possible in 10 minutes. I was off like a bat out of hell. And then the repetition caught up to me. My legs were already spent before I started and my shoulders kind of wanted to kill me. It was epic. Somehow, I managed nine rounds.
Ready to be done, I walked outside to meet my friend for a four mile run, which I ultimately ended up hobbling through since my legs were no longer functioning.
Ever since, I've been sidestepping up the stairs and bracing the wall when I sit down. It feel good to be back.
School - So, Dizzle and Doodle are into their third week of school and I am still left with the nagging feeling that we may not have made the right decision sending them (especially Dizzle) this year. Long story short, I know my kids and I know how they are motivated (and unmotivated). I know how they best learn and I know what distracts them. And I really know when they are not being challenged.
Yes, I realize it's early in the year. And yes, I realize that every teacher has their methods. But, there is so much wasted time and effort that it drives me bananas. Fortunately, I don't mind being that annoying parent that teachers dread getting an email from or seeing in the hallway. If I don't advocate for my children, no one will. And I intend on doing so until I am on board with what's going on.
Hawaii - In exactly 30 days, I will be here.
It's the first really big trip (Disney aside) that we've taken since our wedding/honeymoon almost 10 years ago. It will be the first time the girls will be on a plane for more than two and a half hours (Our flight out has a leg that is over 10 hours!) and it will hopefully be amazing. So, my question for you is, "Have you ever been to Oahu? What are your must dos?"
Monday, September 16, 2013
live deliberately ...
Dizzle once asked me what "Lost time is never found" meant. I simply told her that we never get a change to relive what has already happened. That if you waste your time or an opportunity, you don't get a chance to use it later.
The answer seemed to satisfy her eight year old mind. She said to me, "So, if you are mean you can't go back and unsay what you said, even if you're sorry. And, if you ate pizza, you can't go back and un-eat it. And, if you sleep all day you don't get to live that day again."
Laughing, I said, "Yes, that the general idea."
Now, weeks later, I can't help but think about that quote. Sure, it tells us that you don't get a second chance at what has lapsed, but more than that I think it tells us to simply live deliberately.
It's easy to let life pass us by. We all get stuck in a routine of the boring and the mundane. It's then that things can become stressful, mind-numbing and cause you to lose your focus.
But, by choosing to live deliberately, you can stop all that and you'll never have to worry about the lost time that is never found.
Life is simply a series of choices. Some easier to make than others - from what you wear to what you eat to how you spend your time. So make your choices wisely.
Ask yourself, am I giving meaning and purpose to my choices?
Am I considering the effect of this decision now? 10 minutes from now? 10 years from now?
What will be gained from this and what will be lost?
Who will I hurt and who will I help?
Will this choice strengthen or weaken me? Will it get me to where I want to be?
Is there an intention behind my action? Or am I just following along?
Am I living deliberately?
Every action has a reaction.
And lost time is never found, so are you making the most of every moment?
I'm trying to. Every single day.
The answer seemed to satisfy her eight year old mind. She said to me, "So, if you are mean you can't go back and unsay what you said, even if you're sorry. And, if you ate pizza, you can't go back and un-eat it. And, if you sleep all day you don't get to live that day again."
Laughing, I said, "Yes, that the general idea."
Now, weeks later, I can't help but think about that quote. Sure, it tells us that you don't get a second chance at what has lapsed, but more than that I think it tells us to simply live deliberately.
It's easy to let life pass us by. We all get stuck in a routine of the boring and the mundane. It's then that things can become stressful, mind-numbing and cause you to lose your focus.
But, by choosing to live deliberately, you can stop all that and you'll never have to worry about the lost time that is never found.
Life is simply a series of choices. Some easier to make than others - from what you wear to what you eat to how you spend your time. So make your choices wisely.
Ask yourself, am I giving meaning and purpose to my choices?
Am I considering the effect of this decision now? 10 minutes from now? 10 years from now?
What will be gained from this and what will be lost?
Who will I hurt and who will I help?
Will this choice strengthen or weaken me? Will it get me to where I want to be?
Is there an intention behind my action? Or am I just following along?
Am I living deliberately?
Every action has a reaction.
And lost time is never found, so are you making the most of every moment?
I'm trying to. Every single day.
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