The two hardest things to handle in life are success and failure. - Unknown
That was my senior quote. At the time, I felt like it pretty much summed up my entire being. 13 years later, I would have a hard time arguing differently.
There is an enormous amount of pressure (whether self-imposed or external) in either scenario. The way I see it (which may be completely unfounded), if you succeed, you need to continue to live up to the standard that you've set for yourself. And if you fail, then you have to exceed what you've done in the past. Either way, you're really in the same place - expecting more and more with every attempt.
I know this is a Type A trait.
And I know I am textbook Type A.
(I'm sure anyone who doesn't classify themselves as Type A is probably shaking their heads thinking, "Why would anyone ever see life that way?")
This whole success and failure relationship has been eating away at me lately. I know I am not functioning at 100%. In fact, despite test after test that tell me I am the picture of health, I walk away knowing that something is going on. There is a reason I am not refreshed after 10 hours of sleep. There is a reason that I go through every workout feeling like I raced the day before. There is a reason I have almost every hypothyroid symptom out there, but my blood work is "normal". There is a reason I have gained 25 pounds in the last 18 months despite meticulous food journaling/measurement and intense training. There is a reason.
I just don't know what it is.
I have suspected for some time that my training is amplifying my symptoms. Last week's episode at the pool was the final straw. I've been pushing through workouts for months, so I know my mental game isn't failing me. My body is. As a last ditch attempt, I decided to take a few days off to see if I felt any better. Now, five days later, I would say that there has been very little improvement. Yes, I am not sore, but I still don't feel strong. And my fatigue, well, let's just say that if I closed my eyes right now, I'd be out in five minutes.
So, after many tears and a few meltdowns, I accepted the hand I've been dealt. This is not my year for 140.6. I will not be toeing the line at Rev3 Cedar Point FullRev. Instead, I will tackle the HalfRev, with the most basic training plan I could find. One that peaks at a volume lower than I am currently at. It will be a race for fun with no pressure of finishing times or placement.
Because ultimately, my health is too important. I need to figure out what's going on with me and get back to feeling the way I did 18 months ago. And unfortunately, I know that training 13 to 20 hours per week isn't going to allow me to do that.
Maybe I'll get to that start line next year. Maybe I'll get there in 10. Or maybe, it's somewhere I'll never go. Right now, I'm OK with that. I know it's the smart thing to do. And I know that no matter how many times other people tell me that I can make it through the training and all the way to the finish line, I know they are wrong. I can't get there without sacrificing things that I am not willing to sacrifice. And that's OK.
At first, I saw my decision as a failure. A failure to finish. A failure to see myself through something I had set out to do. A failure of my word. But, with acceptance, I'm starting to see that really, it's a success. A success to choose the path that's right for me. A success of letting go. A success to make the best of what I've got.
And that's exactly what I am going to do.
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label illness. Show all posts
Monday, May 13, 2013
Monday, December 10, 2012
unforced rest ...
10 days.
That's how long I was on Levaquin. And that's how long I was medically banned from exercise.
I thought it was going to be brutal. I thought that my children would get on my last nerve and send me spiraling. I thought that I would drive my family insane with my lack of endorphins.
I thought wrong.
None of that happened. But something else did.
Instead of feeling refreshed and ready to go, which I should since my cough is pretty much gone, I don't. I feel sore.
My hip flexor and I aren't really friends right now. And my heel and Achilles are revolting. Kind of odd considering I have done nothing to strain them over the past 11 days.
Normally, I would ignore these aches and see if they resolve themselves. But, not this time. This time is different. This time, there are voices telling me to be smart. You see, although I am no longer taking Levaquin, my risk of tendon rupture isn't instantly back to zero. In fact, the risk can be elevated for months. *awesomesauce*
And these pains that seemingly came out of nowhere are kind of freaking me out. If these pains are being caused by the medication still in my system (and really, even if they are not), I am not willing to risk months of training just because I was unwilling to wait a few days.
So, that's what I am going to do.
Wait.
For seven more days.
I'm trying to think of it as unforced rest that will hopefully prove that sometimes it's better to listen to logic than be fueled by emotion.
That's how long I was on Levaquin. And that's how long I was medically banned from exercise.
I thought it was going to be brutal. I thought that my children would get on my last nerve and send me spiraling. I thought that I would drive my family insane with my lack of endorphins.
I thought wrong.
None of that happened. But something else did.
Instead of feeling refreshed and ready to go, which I should since my cough is pretty much gone, I don't. I feel sore.
My hip flexor and I aren't really friends right now. And my heel and Achilles are revolting. Kind of odd considering I have done nothing to strain them over the past 11 days.
Normally, I would ignore these aches and see if they resolve themselves. But, not this time. This time is different. This time, there are voices telling me to be smart. You see, although I am no longer taking Levaquin, my risk of tendon rupture isn't instantly back to zero. In fact, the risk can be elevated for months. *awesomesauce*
And these pains that seemingly came out of nowhere are kind of freaking me out. If these pains are being caused by the medication still in my system (and really, even if they are not), I am not willing to risk months of training just because I was unwilling to wait a few days.
So, that's what I am going to do.
Wait.
For seven more days.
I'm trying to think of it as unforced rest that will hopefully prove that sometimes it's better to listen to logic than be fueled by emotion.
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Three Things Thursday ...
Resting - I'm seven days into my medically imposed 10 day rest period and surprisingly, I'm not mad about it. It hasn't been all that bad and I have accomplished quite a bit, much of which would have just added stress to a jam-packed schedule. Really, I'm just trying to be zen about the whole thing.
Unfortunately, during this rest period I have developed some crazy hip pain. Prior to starting this medication, I had some soreness/tightness in my SI joint and hip flexor for about two weeks. I went to the Witch Doctor, he did some ART magic on it and I thought it was getting better.
Not the case.
My SI doesn't feel super agitated, but a three inch band around my entire hip (from groin to buttocks) is sore, especially when it has pressure applied to it, which makes both sitting and lying down uncomfortable. And since yesterday, I have had random pain/tightness radiating down the back and side of my leg. I'm not sure if this is a side effect of the medication I am on, which can cause joint pain and tendon rupture, but honestly, if I wasn't forced to rest, I wouldn't be running or biking anyway. And that says a lot considering my OCD tendencies.
Fortunately, I don't really need to ramp up my training until January 1 or even mid-January to prepare for my next race, so I'm not totally stressing. And I'm not about to injure myself, so I may be chillaxing for a while ...
Glasses - J and I have passed on some fabulous traits to our girls. Doodle and Dilly got some wicked athletic skills and are, um, abnormally tall for their ages. Dizzle has the singing voice of an angel (not entirely sure where she got that, but I am taking credit) and the running form of Ryan Hall. From all current indications, we passed along our Ivy League brains and our large jaws, hopefully setting them up to be brace-free children.
Sadly though, we also gave them our eyesight. All of their grandparents, aunts, uncles and of course, J and I, wear glasses. Thus, we've always know that in the future, they would most likely suffer the same fate.
Anyway, two weeks ago, J and I visited a new eye doctor. She asked me if the girls had ever visited an eye doctor. I told her no, but they had all passed the vision screening at their pediatrician. She, in turn, told me that while that was great, some children can pass the vision screening even if they have a hard time seeing, since like adults, once you can recognize letters, you can often decipher what's on the chart even if it's not completely clear.
*me banging head against wall*
She went on to tell me that it's also good to get a baseline of their vision and eye health before eye development stops at around age 9 and that she recommends that children have their first screen around age 3.
Oops.
Her little speech sold me and I set up appointments for the girls.
Dilly went first. She passed the vision screen with flying colors. 20/30 in each eye and 20/25 when combined. Her eye health is right as it should be and we even learned that she was born with "snowflakes" on both eyes, otherwise known as congenital cataracts. Basically, they are cloudy spots on her eye (that look like snowflakes). She was born with them, they will never grow or change and she doesn't see them in her field of vision. Also, they are very rare, which makes her kind of epic.
Dizzle was up next. When she sat in the chair the doctor asked her if she felt like she had any issues seeing. Dizzle responded, "No. I see great."
Then the testing started. Within 10 seconds, I knew we had a problem. She could only read the second line down, and she missed some of the letters. Crap. She continued on and continued to have issues reading the screen. Upon completion, the doctor turned to me and said exactly what I knew was coming.
Dizzle is rather farsighted for someone her age and the correction she needs warrants her getting glasses.
Awesome. The kicker is, I constantly ask this kid if she has any issues seeing and she always says no. And to her, she probably doesn't, it's likely that she has always had some degree of farsightedness and it's just what she is used to. However, I probably should have suspected something was up, as she is the clumsiest child I know.
Hopefully, in a week when she gets these, she'll gain some coordination.
Finally, Doodle jumped in the chair, where she proceeded to TRY to fail the eye exam. She was reading things out of order, backwards and from the wrong row. She was squirming and fidgeting and stalling. It was completely obvious to me what she was trying to do and the doctor had caught on too. Dizzle, Dilly and I were asked to leave so Doodle could focus.
A few minutes later, they came out of the exam room and the doctor told me that while Mackenzie does have a slight vision problem, her prescription is light enough that she can get by without it for now. She added that it's quite likely that once she starts reading more and the type gets smaller, she will likely want and need to get glasses.
Good news, right? Wrong.
Doodle proceeded to throw a fit and cry the rest of the way home because she didn't need glasses. Seriously, who does that?
Christmas Lights - Like I've mentioned, I'm a bit of a scrooge when it comes to Christmas. My grinch-like persona is aided by the fact that we don't have any plugs on the outside of our house making it impossible for us to create a festive landscape. Some of our fellow Virginians, do not have this issue and they more than make up for the rest of us.
Last weekend, J and I took the girls on a tour around on a Tacky Lights Tour. This house was my favorite, but not even the most extreme.
Kind of makes you feel like a slacker, doesn't it?
Unfortunately, during this rest period I have developed some crazy hip pain. Prior to starting this medication, I had some soreness/tightness in my SI joint and hip flexor for about two weeks. I went to the Witch Doctor, he did some ART magic on it and I thought it was getting better.
Not the case.
My SI doesn't feel super agitated, but a three inch band around my entire hip (from groin to buttocks) is sore, especially when it has pressure applied to it, which makes both sitting and lying down uncomfortable. And since yesterday, I have had random pain/tightness radiating down the back and side of my leg. I'm not sure if this is a side effect of the medication I am on, which can cause joint pain and tendon rupture, but honestly, if I wasn't forced to rest, I wouldn't be running or biking anyway. And that says a lot considering my OCD tendencies.
Fortunately, I don't really need to ramp up my training until January 1 or even mid-January to prepare for my next race, so I'm not totally stressing. And I'm not about to injure myself, so I may be chillaxing for a while ...
Glasses - J and I have passed on some fabulous traits to our girls. Doodle and Dilly got some wicked athletic skills and are, um, abnormally tall for their ages. Dizzle has the singing voice of an angel (not entirely sure where she got that, but I am taking credit) and the running form of Ryan Hall. From all current indications, we passed along our Ivy League brains and our large jaws, hopefully setting them up to be brace-free children.
Sadly though, we also gave them our eyesight. All of their grandparents, aunts, uncles and of course, J and I, wear glasses. Thus, we've always know that in the future, they would most likely suffer the same fate.
Anyway, two weeks ago, J and I visited a new eye doctor. She asked me if the girls had ever visited an eye doctor. I told her no, but they had all passed the vision screening at their pediatrician. She, in turn, told me that while that was great, some children can pass the vision screening even if they have a hard time seeing, since like adults, once you can recognize letters, you can often decipher what's on the chart even if it's not completely clear.
*me banging head against wall*
She went on to tell me that it's also good to get a baseline of their vision and eye health before eye development stops at around age 9 and that she recommends that children have their first screen around age 3.
Oops.
Her little speech sold me and I set up appointments for the girls.
Dilly went first. She passed the vision screen with flying colors. 20/30 in each eye and 20/25 when combined. Her eye health is right as it should be and we even learned that she was born with "snowflakes" on both eyes, otherwise known as congenital cataracts. Basically, they are cloudy spots on her eye (that look like snowflakes). She was born with them, they will never grow or change and she doesn't see them in her field of vision. Also, they are very rare, which makes her kind of epic.
Dizzle was up next. When she sat in the chair the doctor asked her if she felt like she had any issues seeing. Dizzle responded, "No. I see great."
Then the testing started. Within 10 seconds, I knew we had a problem. She could only read the second line down, and she missed some of the letters. Crap. She continued on and continued to have issues reading the screen. Upon completion, the doctor turned to me and said exactly what I knew was coming.
Dizzle is rather farsighted for someone her age and the correction she needs warrants her getting glasses.
Awesome. The kicker is, I constantly ask this kid if she has any issues seeing and she always says no. And to her, she probably doesn't, it's likely that she has always had some degree of farsightedness and it's just what she is used to. However, I probably should have suspected something was up, as she is the clumsiest child I know.
Hopefully, in a week when she gets these, she'll gain some coordination.
 |
| Dizzle's new specs ... |
Finally, Doodle jumped in the chair, where she proceeded to TRY to fail the eye exam. She was reading things out of order, backwards and from the wrong row. She was squirming and fidgeting and stalling. It was completely obvious to me what she was trying to do and the doctor had caught on too. Dizzle, Dilly and I were asked to leave so Doodle could focus.
A few minutes later, they came out of the exam room and the doctor told me that while Mackenzie does have a slight vision problem, her prescription is light enough that she can get by without it for now. She added that it's quite likely that once she starts reading more and the type gets smaller, she will likely want and need to get glasses.
Good news, right? Wrong.
Doodle proceeded to throw a fit and cry the rest of the way home because she didn't need glasses. Seriously, who does that?
Christmas Lights - Like I've mentioned, I'm a bit of a scrooge when it comes to Christmas. My grinch-like persona is aided by the fact that we don't have any plugs on the outside of our house making it impossible for us to create a festive landscape. Some of our fellow Virginians, do not have this issue and they more than make up for the rest of us.
Last weekend, J and I took the girls on a tour around on a Tacky Lights Tour. This house was my favorite, but not even the most extreme.
Kind of makes you feel like a slacker, doesn't it?
Monday, December 3, 2012
November Rewind ...
Miles Run: 47.25 miles. Yup, that's just sad.
Bike Miles Rode: 94.2 miles
Swim Meters Completed: 15150 meters of 9.41 miles
Rest Days Taken: 13. I was sick pretty much this entire month.
Highest Run Mileage Week: 11/5-11/11: 13 miles
Highest Bike Mileage Week: 11/12-11/18: 35.6 miles
Highest Swim Volume Week: 11/12-11/18: 5000 meters or 3.1 miles
Long Runs Completed (10+ miles): 0
Current Book: Right now, I am reading Iron War by Matt Fitzgerald. Even if you're not into the whole Ironman thing, you should really check it out. It's captivating. Also, in all my time NOT training this month, I read a few other selections as well ...
Current Colors: Charcoal Gray and Yellow
Current Drink: Anything I can put peppermint mocha coffee creamer in.
Current Song: A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Current Triumph: I've made it four days without working out and I haven't even thought about strangling anyone.
Current Goal: Be a better me. Each and every day.
Current Blessing: Generally, I feel like my whole life is one big blessing and I am entirely grateful for that. I don't take anything for granted. Not even for a second.
Current Excitement: Sunday. Because on Sunday, I can get back to my training plan.
Fitness:
Bike Miles Rode: 94.2 miles
Swim Meters Completed: 15150 meters of 9.41 miles
Rest Days Taken: 13. I was sick pretty much this entire month.
Highest Run Mileage Week: 11/5-11/11: 13 miles
Highest Bike Mileage Week: 11/12-11/18: 35.6 miles
Highest Swim Volume Week: 11/12-11/18: 5000 meters or 3.1 miles
Long Runs Completed (10+ miles): 0
Current Book: Right now, I am reading Iron War by Matt Fitzgerald. Even if you're not into the whole Ironman thing, you should really check it out. It's captivating. Also, in all my time NOT training this month, I read a few other selections as well ...
- Be Iron Fit: Time Efficient Training Secrets for Ultimate Fitness by Fink
- Global Weirdness: Severe Storms, Deadly Heat Waves, Relentless Drought, Rising Seas, and the Weather of the Future by Climate Central, Inc.
- A Life Without Limits: A World Champion's Journey by Wellington
- The Moneysmart Family System: Teaching Financial Independence to Children of Every Age by Economides
- Screamfree Parenting: The Revolutionary Approach to Raising Your Kids Without Losing Your Cool by Runkel
- The Taste of Tomorrow: Dispatches From the Future of Food by Schonwald
Current Colors: Charcoal Gray and Yellow
Current Drink: Anything I can put peppermint mocha coffee creamer in.
Current Song: A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Current Triumph: I've made it four days without working out and I haven't even thought about strangling anyone.
Current Goal: Be a better me. Each and every day.
Current Blessing: Generally, I feel like my whole life is one big blessing and I am entirely grateful for that. I don't take anything for granted. Not even for a second.
Current Excitement: Sunday. Because on Sunday, I can get back to my training plan.
2012 To Do List Update:
Fitness:
- Take 70.3 training day by day. Don't get caught up in what is coming, but rather focus on what is. Trust that it will get you where you want to be. - CHECK
- Find the strength to NOT add races to your schedule during 70.3 training. That is your focus, don't screw with that because of FOMO (fear of missing out). - CHECK
- Cross the finish line of your first 70.3 in less than 6:57:59. - CHECK. Goal crushed. 6:39:39.
- Maintain at least one day of cycling and one day of swimming per week, post 70.3. Give J some proof that a new road bike would be a good investment. - CHECK. I'm crushing this one.
- Log 4,000 miles, swim, bike and run combined. - As of December 3, 3930.47 miles completed
- Race a 10K with a finish time much faster than your
very datedcurrent PR of 53:17. - Set a new PR in the Half Marathon, currently 1:57:06 (or 1:56:18, if the half split from the NYC Marathon counts). - FAIL. Better luck in 2013.
- Race a Fall Sprint Triathlon. Actually train for the event, unlike in years past. - Rocked that. Finished 3rd Athena!
- Add strength training to the routine. - CHECK.
- Eat like an athlete. Be mindful of the nutritional value of your food. - I've been killing this. But, apparently my scale doesn't care.
- Consume no more than 18 desserts from either Shyndigz or Two Sweet Cupcakes (approximately 1 dessert/3 weeks) - As of December 3, 17 consumed. I need to just face the facts with this one.
- Cut out snacking on the girl's leftovers. Just because they don't eat it, doesn't mean you have to. - CHECK
- Only say yes to the projects you REALLY want to work on. - CHECK
- Throw away the credit cards. Stop repeating history. - CHECK
- Ignore your impulses. Take time to process the true value of the things you are filling your space/life with. - CHECK
- Declutter and Organize using this calendar. - CHECK
- Continue to balance family life, training and now, work. - CHECK
- Prioritize and be a good example for the people in your life. - CHECK
- Help and support J and the kids in reaching their goals. We are a team and that must always be the primary focus of our lives. - CHECK
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Seaside Half Marathon ...
Did you ever have a bad run?
Like an "I'd rather be lying dead on the curb than running" kind of run?
Yeah, me too.
It's happened once or twice over the course of the last five years. And although, it's been said that, "You never regret going for a run," I have regretted every single steps of those runs.
Fortunately, I have never experienced a run like that when it really mattered.
Until Sunday.
A few months back, Kim mentioned that she was going to run the Seaside Half Marathon. I instantly wanted to join her (mainly because I love Kim, but also because I grew up 10 minutes from the race location). Initially, it looked like the timing wasn't going to work out, but as luck would have it, we decided to change our Disney travel dates and I would be able to race. And even better, I was able to convince my sister, Gina, to make her half marathon debut at the event.
So, it was set. Gina and I would drive up the day before, meet Kim, Alma and Lisa for dinner, race at the odd start time of 10 a.m., and then drive home afterwards. It was going to be great.
And it was. Until about mile 3.
Dinner was delicious (and likely my downfall).
I slept well that night. And I woke up ready to race.
Anyway, like I said, things were going great until mile 3. I had been on pace to hit my goal, despite the 20 mph headwind. Then I started to feel a stabbing pain in my head. By mile 6, my head was full-on throbbing.
Shortly after mile 7, Kim caught me. Then passed me. I started looking for "ways out." Could I hitch a ride with a spectator? No, there were none. Could I jump on an ambulance? Nope, the only one I had seen was long gone. By mile 8, I was dry heaving on the side of the road. At one point, I noticed a bird lying dead on the road and considered joining him (I am only mildly exaggerating).
Right around mile 10, my nausea subsided slightly and I was able to run briefly. Very briefly. My stomach cramps were making it hard to breathe. It hurt to expand my rib cage. I was seriously considering taking a DNF for the first time ever. But, as I mentioned before, even if I committed to quitting, there was no way to get back other than by my own power, so there was really no point.
Unable to run for more than about a minute at a time, I walked the vast majority of the last three miles. Only in the last two tenths of the race did I even attempt to push the pace (I finished in 2:28:21, in case you were wondering). And I only did that because I knew my mom was waiting at the finish line.
I have never been so happy to finish a run. Ever. Afterwards, I must have looked and been breathing worse than I thought, because my mom tried to get me to go to the medic. I shook her off, as I wasn't about to miss my little sister finish her first half marathon. (Note: She did awesome and although she swears she'll never run another half, I know I can convince her ...)
Honestly, I am not really sure what happened. I'm still not feeling 100%. Maybe I was (and still am) fighting a bug. Maybe, I was wicked dehydrated and I just didn't realize. Maybe my gluten and dairy filled diet in the day prior screwed me over. I don't know. Regardless, this is going down as my worst race ever.
Like an "I'd rather be lying dead on the curb than running" kind of run?
Yeah, me too.
It's happened once or twice over the course of the last five years. And although, it's been said that, "You never regret going for a run," I have regretted every single steps of those runs.
Fortunately, I have never experienced a run like that when it really mattered.
Until Sunday.
A few months back, Kim mentioned that she was going to run the Seaside Half Marathon. I instantly wanted to join her (mainly because I love Kim, but also because I grew up 10 minutes from the race location). Initially, it looked like the timing wasn't going to work out, but as luck would have it, we decided to change our Disney travel dates and I would be able to race. And even better, I was able to convince my sister, Gina, to make her half marathon debut at the event.
So, it was set. Gina and I would drive up the day before, meet Kim, Alma and Lisa for dinner, race at the odd start time of 10 a.m., and then drive home afterwards. It was going to be great.
And it was. Until about mile 3.
Dinner was delicious (and likely my downfall).
 |
| Alma, Lisa, Kim, me and Gina ... |
I slept well that night. And I woke up ready to race.
 |
| Me, Lisa, Kim and Gina. Yes, we coordinated outfits ... |
Anyway, like I said, things were going great until mile 3. I had been on pace to hit my goal, despite the 20 mph headwind. Then I started to feel a stabbing pain in my head. By mile 6, my head was full-on throbbing.
Shortly after mile 7, Kim caught me. Then passed me. I started looking for "ways out." Could I hitch a ride with a spectator? No, there were none. Could I jump on an ambulance? Nope, the only one I had seen was long gone. By mile 8, I was dry heaving on the side of the road. At one point, I noticed a bird lying dead on the road and considered joining him (I am only mildly exaggerating).
Right around mile 10, my nausea subsided slightly and I was able to run briefly. Very briefly. My stomach cramps were making it hard to breathe. It hurt to expand my rib cage. I was seriously considering taking a DNF for the first time ever. But, as I mentioned before, even if I committed to quitting, there was no way to get back other than by my own power, so there was really no point.
Unable to run for more than about a minute at a time, I walked the vast majority of the last three miles. Only in the last two tenths of the race did I even attempt to push the pace (I finished in 2:28:21, in case you were wondering). And I only did that because I knew my mom was waiting at the finish line.
 |
| sucking it up for the cameras ... |
I have never been so happy to finish a run. Ever. Afterwards, I must have looked and been breathing worse than I thought, because my mom tried to get me to go to the medic. I shook her off, as I wasn't about to miss my little sister finish her first half marathon. (Note: She did awesome and although she swears she'll never run another half, I know I can convince her ...)
Honestly, I am not really sure what happened. I'm still not feeling 100%. Maybe I was (and still am) fighting a bug. Maybe, I was wicked dehydrated and I just didn't realize. Maybe my gluten and dairy filled diet in the day prior screwed me over. I don't know. Regardless, this is going down as my worst race ever.
Monday, December 5, 2011
strength ...
Strength can manifest in a lot of different ways.
You can be physically strong.
You can be mentally strong.
You can be emotionally strong.
On some days, I am all three. On others, all strength eludes me.
Right now, I am mustering all of my strength to stay sane. I'm having a hard time focusing. My stomach is in knots. And the worst part is, my rock is feeling the same way. Uncertainty will do that to a person.
Maybe that's why I've been sick for what feels like an eternity. I'm using my strength elsewhere and my body can't fight back. Eventually, something has to give or you'll crack. Today, my run was the thing that ruptured.
7/10 of a mile in, I just couldn't do it. My body was screaming no and my brain didn't have the strength to fight it. I stopped and walked back to my car. I probably never should have shown up in the first place. I should have had the strength to take a rest day. But, some days you just need to run, or risk going insane.
You can be physically strong.
You can be mentally strong.
You can be emotionally strong.
On some days, I am all three. On others, all strength eludes me.
Right now, I am mustering all of my strength to stay sane. I'm having a hard time focusing. My stomach is in knots. And the worst part is, my rock is feeling the same way. Uncertainty will do that to a person.
Maybe that's why I've been sick for what feels like an eternity. I'm using my strength elsewhere and my body can't fight back. Eventually, something has to give or you'll crack. Today, my run was the thing that ruptured.
7/10 of a mile in, I just couldn't do it. My body was screaming no and my brain didn't have the strength to fight it. I stopped and walked back to my car. I probably never should have shown up in the first place. I should have had the strength to take a rest day. But, some days you just need to run, or risk going insane.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Three Things Thursday ...
Merry Christmas - For a few months, J and I have debated whether or not we should get a new treadmill. I love our current one (which we have had for 7 years) and it runs fine, but J doesn't fit well on it (he's 6'7, after all) and it doesn't have some of the newer features that treadmills are being sold with these days (i.e. decline, tablet screen, Google Maps).
So, after much debate we decided to bite the bullet and purchase this on Black Friday ...
Isn't it pretty? It's being delivered tomorrow and I pretty much can't wait. It will be like Christmas morning.
Vacation - I am in official countdown mode for our Christmas trip. We were going to take the girls to San Diego this year, but the airline canceled our flight and offered a full refund, so we took it. Rather than rebook and spend a fortune for tickets, we decided to drive to Disney. The girls love it (Seriously, they ask to go EVERY FREAKING DAY) and it's our last chance to visit before Dilly turns 3 and we add the cost of her theme park ticket. Heck yeah for saving money! And a double heck yeah for 15 days!
Quarantined - My family needs to be placed in a bubble and hidden from the rest of the world. In the last month and a half, we've had ...
So, after much debate we decided to bite the bullet and purchase this on Black Friday ...
Isn't it pretty? It's being delivered tomorrow and I pretty much can't wait. It will be like Christmas morning.Vacation - I am in official countdown mode for our Christmas trip. We were going to take the girls to San Diego this year, but the airline canceled our flight and offered a full refund, so we took it. Rather than rebook and spend a fortune for tickets, we decided to drive to Disney. The girls love it (Seriously, they ask to go EVERY FREAKING DAY) and it's our last chance to visit before Dilly turns 3 and we add the cost of her theme park ticket. Heck yeah for saving money! And a double heck yeah for 15 days!
Quarantined - My family needs to be placed in a bubble and hidden from the rest of the world. In the last month and a half, we've had ...
- Strep
- Croup
- Urinary Tract Infections
- Bat-Pig Flu
- Colds
- Pinkeye
Monday, November 28, 2011
ready, set, wait ...
18 weeks from now, I will be toeing the line at my first Half Ironman, Memorial Hermann Ironman 70.3 Texas.
Today is supposed to be the first day of my training plan.
It's not.
I will not swim today.
I will not bike today.
I will not run today.
Because I'm sick.
I've had a fever for two days.
I can barely swallow.
I am a mucus factory.
My head is pounding.
My entire body aches.
Instead of beginning my journey to 70.3, I am fighting the Bat-Pig Flu.
Someone pass the tissues ...
Today is supposed to be the first day of my training plan.
It's not.
I will not swim today.
I will not bike today.
I will not run today.
Because I'm sick.
I've had a fever for two days.
I can barely swallow.
I am a mucus factory.
My head is pounding.
My entire body aches.
Instead of beginning my journey to 70.3, I am fighting the Bat-Pig Flu.
Someone pass the tissues ...
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Three Things Thursday ...
Rest - I'm on day two of court-ordered rest and I am feeling much better. Like so much better that if I could find my running shoes, I would hit up the treadmill tonight. But, I won't because I know I need a break and I'll be back on schedule tomorrow anyway. I really think the key to my quick recovery was that two hour nap I got yesterday when G watched my kids for a few hours so I could rest.
It's so awesome to have ...
1. A best friend who has a kid that is your kid's best friend.
2. A best friend who realizes the importance of proper recovery during marathon training.
Pacing - My biggest trouble in any race is pacing. I feel good at the start and get caught up in the crowd, ultimately running too fast in the first few miles, then crashing hard at the end. The few times this hasn't happened, I've crushed my race goals.
Headed into NYC, I need to have an awesome pacing strategy in place. So, on the recommendation of Erin, I checked out the Greg Maclin calculator and put together a pace band to fit my need. I am in love. It's epic. And completely doable.
I am leaving NYC with a PR.
Bank - On Tuesday, when I was tucking Dilly into bed, I asked her about our day. She recounted it like this.
Dilly: We went to Doodle's school and the pumpkin patch and soccer.
Me: Yes, we did go to all of those places.
Dilly: Where did we go too? (answers herself) We went to the piggy bank and I got a lollipop.
Yup, Dilly, We went to the Piggy Bank ...
It's so awesome to have ...
1. A best friend who has a kid that is your kid's best friend.
2. A best friend who realizes the importance of proper recovery during marathon training.
Pacing - My biggest trouble in any race is pacing. I feel good at the start and get caught up in the crowd, ultimately running too fast in the first few miles, then crashing hard at the end. The few times this hasn't happened, I've crushed my race goals.
Headed into NYC, I need to have an awesome pacing strategy in place. So, on the recommendation of Erin, I checked out the Greg Maclin calculator and put together a pace band to fit my need. I am in love. It's epic. And completely doable.
I am leaving NYC with a PR.
Bank - On Tuesday, when I was tucking Dilly into bed, I asked her about our day. She recounted it like this.
Dilly: We went to Doodle's school and the pumpkin patch and soccer.
Me: Yes, we did go to all of those places.
Dilly: Where did we go too? (answers herself) We went to the piggy bank and I got a lollipop.
Yup, Dilly, We went to the Piggy Bank ...
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
cost-benefit analysis ...
I get asked a lot of questions about running. I'm not sure if this is because people know that I am a running coach or if they just think that I spend every waking moment of my life obsessing about the sport. (Note: Just because the vast majority of my clothing was purchased from running stores and there are running gear/magazines/medals/etc all around my house does not indicate an obsession.)
Either way, I feel like I'm usually answering one of the following questions:
To the runners, I say, "Maybe, but probably not. If you have to ask the question in the first place, the issue is probably serious enough to warrant concern. But, go ahead and try. If it's too uncomfortable, stop."
Fortunately, I haven't personally been affected by too many of these questionable situations. I've been relatively injury free (i.e. no pains that have lasted more than a day or two) and I don't get sick all that often (other than the occasional runny nose - which is usually allergy related).
On Tuesday morning (OK, Monday night, if we are being honest), I had one of those questionable situations. I wasn't feeling well, but the ick was contained to my head. So, I got up at 4:30 for my 10 mile run, even though I wasn't sure 10 miles was a smart idea.
Within the first 4 minutes, I had decided that the whole run wasn't going to happen. Even after I warmed up, my pace had slowed considerably from usual. By mile 5, I was drained, but was left with no option but to run the last two miles back to my car.
I shook it off. No big deal. I'll probably feel better later and then I'll just rearrange my workouts for the week. I planned on trying 10 again on Wednesday.
That was until 3 p.m. I started to lose the ability to breathe normally. The thought of running pained me. Almost as much as the thought of not running did.
I tried again to rearrange my schedule. Started playing scenarios in my head.
"I'll skip the run in the morning. Then if I feel OK, I'll run it on the treadmill that night. I can always double up if I have to. I can do it all. I'm epic like that."
Truth is, I'm not epic like that. I woke up and felt worse than expected. I'm confident that the Bat Pig Flu has invaded my home. That's when I realized that I needed to apply some of those fancy principles I learned in college to my training. Specifically, cost-benefit analysis.
Cost-Benefit Analysis: a systematic process for calculating and comparing benefits and costs of a project for two purposes: (1) to determine if it is a sound investment (justification/feasibility), (2) to see how it compares with alternate projects (ranking/priority assignment). It involves comparing the total expected cost of each option against the total expected benefits, to see whether the benefits outweigh the costs, and by how much.
Let's consider the facts:
So, I am making the executive decision to take the next few days off (I know, pick your jaws up off the floor).
No running today.
No running tomorrow.
And who knows, I might just take Friday off too.
I just hope someone hides my running shoes ...
Either way, I feel like I'm usually answering one of the following questions:
- Non-runners: "How do you run so much? I'd die if I had to run a mile."
- Runners: "Can I run through XYZ?"
To the runners, I say, "Maybe, but probably not. If you have to ask the question in the first place, the issue is probably serious enough to warrant concern. But, go ahead and try. If it's too uncomfortable, stop."
Fortunately, I haven't personally been affected by too many of these questionable situations. I've been relatively injury free (i.e. no pains that have lasted more than a day or two) and I don't get sick all that often (other than the occasional runny nose - which is usually allergy related).
On Tuesday morning (OK, Monday night, if we are being honest), I had one of those questionable situations. I wasn't feeling well, but the ick was contained to my head. So, I got up at 4:30 for my 10 mile run, even though I wasn't sure 10 miles was a smart idea.
Within the first 4 minutes, I had decided that the whole run wasn't going to happen. Even after I warmed up, my pace had slowed considerably from usual. By mile 5, I was drained, but was left with no option but to run the last two miles back to my car.
I shook it off. No big deal. I'll probably feel better later and then I'll just rearrange my workouts for the week. I planned on trying 10 again on Wednesday.
That was until 3 p.m. I started to lose the ability to breathe normally. The thought of running pained me. Almost as much as the thought of not running did.
I tried again to rearrange my schedule. Started playing scenarios in my head.
"I'll skip the run in the morning. Then if I feel OK, I'll run it on the treadmill that night. I can always double up if I have to. I can do it all. I'm epic like that."
Truth is, I'm not epic like that. I woke up and felt worse than expected. I'm confident that the Bat Pig Flu has invaded my home. That's when I realized that I needed to apply some of those fancy principles I learned in college to my training. Specifically, cost-benefit analysis.
Cost-Benefit Analysis: a systematic process for calculating and comparing benefits and costs of a project for two purposes: (1) to determine if it is a sound investment (justification/feasibility), (2) to see how it compares with alternate projects (ranking/priority assignment). It involves comparing the total expected cost of each option against the total expected benefits, to see whether the benefits outweigh the costs, and by how much.
Let's consider the facts:
- I'm sick, I know I am sick. But, I also know that I don't like to miss a run.
- I'm just 18 days out from the NYC Marathon. I've logged nearly 1,600 miles this year. Missing 10, 20 or even 50 miles this week, isn't going to make or break my race performance.
- Running some or all of those miles while in a weakened state probably won't help my training in any way other than making me feel good about accomplishing what I'm "supposed to."
- Running some or all of those miles while in a weakened state may cause me to remain in a weakened state for longer than necessary.
- When faced with losing my sanity due to not running or losing my PR due to running while ill, I'd rather be completely insane and unbearable than finish without a PR.
- Running 2,000 miles this year is of lesser importance to me than running the marathon that I have trained for.
So, I am making the executive decision to take the next few days off (I know, pick your jaws up off the floor).
No running today.
No running tomorrow.
And who knows, I might just take Friday off too.
I just hope someone hides my running shoes ...
Monday, October 17, 2011
Baltimore Half Marathon Recap ...
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: 10/15/11
Temperature: 65 degrees
Official Time: 1:59:02 (9:05 pace)
Garmin Time: 1:59:03 for 13.16 miles (9:01 pace)
Place in Age Group (25-29): 258/1359
Place in Gender: 868/5374
Overall Place: 2248/9154
As you may recall, I was supposed to run the Amica Newport Half on Sunday. Well, due to the fact that all three of my kids were sick last week and one of them vomited all over my living room just three hours before we were supposed to leave, J and I decided to cancel our trip. Knowing that I was bummed to miss the race, J suggested I find a replacement. He offered up Baltimore (which only had spots left if people "no showed") and two races in NJ (a 5-6 hour drive from here).
When I woke up on Friday morning, I checked Baltimore's website to see if they had opened up any spots. It was listed that there were 50 spots left in the half, which would become available at the opening of the expo at 10 a.m. I knew if I left right that instant (7:50 a.m.), I MIGHT be able to get one of those spots (you had to show up in person to register). So, I told J my plan, picked up my bag and left.
When I was 10 minutes away from the expo (10:46 a.m.), I got a call from SpeeDee, who said that it had just been posted on the Baltimore Running Festival Facebook page that all the spots were gone and not to come to the expo asking for one. I started to tear up. Would I have made it if I didn't have to stop at the bank or get gas for the truck?
I decided to go anyway, figuring that I would shop at the expo, have lunch and head home. Once I arrived, I walked up to registration and asked if there was any chance that they had a spot left in the half. The woman behind the desk said, "Sure, I have two."
I nearly crapped my pants. I filled out the form and $95 later, I was in.
The Good:
A sub-2 finish: Although I was hoping to run faster, I am really proud of my sub-2 finish. The course was definitely challenging and I had a less than perfect day, so I am happy I was able to suck it up and power to the finish when I realized I could still break two hours.
My outfit: Epic, as always. Random people were asking to take my picture. I looked awesome.
Meeting up with friends: As I was walking out of the expo, I heard someone shout my name. I looked up to see Jen and TriGuy.
Later that night, I had dinner with SpeeDee and the rest of the HCB crew (I saw them off at the start of the marathon too).
I also ran into Katye and Becka along the way.
The course: The first 8-9 miles of this course is covered with climbs, but the atmosphere and views make up for it. You truly get a feel for Baltimore as you cover this course. After mile 9, the course levels out and eventually starts a decent into the finish area. Over the last mile and a half, you run a gradual decline into past Camden Yards and the Ravens Stadium. The crowd support is awesome. The route is awesome. Even with the climbs, I'd run this race again. I'd just pace myself better next time.
The shirt and medal: Under Armour is the title sponsor of the Baltimore Running Festival, so the shirts are AMAZING. And the crab medal was wicked cool.
Post-race pecan pie: Not actually from the post-race festivities, but still delicious. Yum.
The Bad:
Fire alarm: At 11 p.m., I was woken up and evacuated from my hotel by this.
A minor inconvenience, but I could have lived without walking down 29 flights of stairs, half asleep.
Late start: The half marathon started at 9:45 a.m. That's just insane.
The hills: Hills are never fun.
The weather: It was 65 degrees at the start (too warm for my liking) and there were winds of 25+ mph. There was more than one time when I lost my footing due to the wind.
Missed goals: I didn't achieve what I set out to do. It happens. Just kind of wish it didn't.
The Ugly:
Dehydration: I stopped sweating somewhere between miles 8 and 9. When I finished, my clothes were completely dry. It kind of made it hard to push harder during the race.
Now, I am sick. I have to believe that the two are related.
Date: 10/15/11
Temperature: 65 degrees
Official Time: 1:59:02 (9:05 pace)
Garmin Time: 1:59:03 for 13.16 miles (9:01 pace)
Place in Age Group (25-29): 258/1359
Place in Gender: 868/5374
Overall Place: 2248/9154
As you may recall, I was supposed to run the Amica Newport Half on Sunday. Well, due to the fact that all three of my kids were sick last week and one of them vomited all over my living room just three hours before we were supposed to leave, J and I decided to cancel our trip. Knowing that I was bummed to miss the race, J suggested I find a replacement. He offered up Baltimore (which only had spots left if people "no showed") and two races in NJ (a 5-6 hour drive from here).
When I woke up on Friday morning, I checked Baltimore's website to see if they had opened up any spots. It was listed that there were 50 spots left in the half, which would become available at the opening of the expo at 10 a.m. I knew if I left right that instant (7:50 a.m.), I MIGHT be able to get one of those spots (you had to show up in person to register). So, I told J my plan, picked up my bag and left.
When I was 10 minutes away from the expo (10:46 a.m.), I got a call from SpeeDee, who said that it had just been posted on the Baltimore Running Festival Facebook page that all the spots were gone and not to come to the expo asking for one. I started to tear up. Would I have made it if I didn't have to stop at the bank or get gas for the truck?
I decided to go anyway, figuring that I would shop at the expo, have lunch and head home. Once I arrived, I walked up to registration and asked if there was any chance that they had a spot left in the half. The woman behind the desk said, "Sure, I have two."
I nearly crapped my pants. I filled out the form and $95 later, I was in.
The Good:
A sub-2 finish: Although I was hoping to run faster, I am really proud of my sub-2 finish. The course was definitely challenging and I had a less than perfect day, so I am happy I was able to suck it up and power to the finish when I realized I could still break two hours.
My outfit: Epic, as always. Random people were asking to take my picture. I looked awesome.
Meeting up with friends: As I was walking out of the expo, I heard someone shout my name. I looked up to see Jen and TriGuy.
Later that night, I had dinner with SpeeDee and the rest of the HCB crew (I saw them off at the start of the marathon too).
I also ran into Katye and Becka along the way.The course: The first 8-9 miles of this course is covered with climbs, but the atmosphere and views make up for it. You truly get a feel for Baltimore as you cover this course. After mile 9, the course levels out and eventually starts a decent into the finish area. Over the last mile and a half, you run a gradual decline into past Camden Yards and the Ravens Stadium. The crowd support is awesome. The route is awesome. Even with the climbs, I'd run this race again. I'd just pace myself better next time.
The shirt and medal: Under Armour is the title sponsor of the Baltimore Running Festival, so the shirts are AMAZING. And the crab medal was wicked cool.
Post-race pecan pie: Not actually from the post-race festivities, but still delicious. Yum.
The Bad:Fire alarm: At 11 p.m., I was woken up and evacuated from my hotel by this.
A minor inconvenience, but I could have lived without walking down 29 flights of stairs, half asleep.Late start: The half marathon started at 9:45 a.m. That's just insane.
The hills: Hills are never fun.
The weather: It was 65 degrees at the start (too warm for my liking) and there were winds of 25+ mph. There was more than one time when I lost my footing due to the wind.
Missed goals: I didn't achieve what I set out to do. It happens. Just kind of wish it didn't.
The Ugly:
Dehydration: I stopped sweating somewhere between miles 8 and 9. When I finished, my clothes were completely dry. It kind of made it hard to push harder during the race.
Now, I am sick. I have to believe that the two are related.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
open letter to croup ...
Dear Croup,
While I can understand why you want to visit my awesome family, I am pretty sure I never invited you into my house. And if I did, you most definitely did not RSVP. Due to your rudeness alone, I am going to have to ask you to vacate the premises immediately.
Now don't get me wrong, I am sure you're nothing like the Bat/Pig Flu or the Plague, but I am also sure that I never needed to hear the sound of my child gasping for air or barking like a seal. You haven't made a good first impression and I suggest you get out before you face the wrath of an angry mother.
Oh, and while you're at it, please tell your friends UTI and Strep to hightail it out of here too. Thanks in advance for your understanding.
Goodbye and good riddance,
TMB and her three sick children
While I can understand why you want to visit my awesome family, I am pretty sure I never invited you into my house. And if I did, you most definitely did not RSVP. Due to your rudeness alone, I am going to have to ask you to vacate the premises immediately.
Now don't get me wrong, I am sure you're nothing like the Bat/Pig Flu or the Plague, but I am also sure that I never needed to hear the sound of my child gasping for air or barking like a seal. You haven't made a good first impression and I suggest you get out before you face the wrath of an angry mother.
Oh, and while you're at it, please tell your friends UTI and Strep to hightail it out of here too. Thanks in advance for your understanding.
Goodbye and good riddance,
TMB and her three sick children
Monday, February 28, 2011
Disney Princess Half Marathon Recap ...
If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook, you probably already know that I had a blast this past weekend. Disney truly treated us like princesses and I will fill you in on all of that tomorrow. But first, my race recap.
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 2/27/11
Temperature: A balmy 61 degrees at the start
Official Time: 1:57:06 (8:57 pace) for 13.1 miles
Garmin Time: 1:57:07 (8:51 pace) for 13.21 miles
Place in Age Group: 142/2365
Overall Place: 638/13091
The Good:
The Course/Atmosphere: I love this course. To begin with, it's simply magical. You start just outside of Epcot and run through the Disney property to the Magic Kingdom through Cinderella's castle and back through Epcot. When you add the scenery of this route with the on-course entertainment, atmosphere and support, and this course is hard to beat. Plus, Orlando is flat and with the exception of one hill at mile 12, so is this course. If you are looking for a fast time, this could be your race.
The VIP/Media Tent: As part of the Disney Princess Media Event, several other bloggers and I had access to the Media Tent before and after the race. No lines for the bathroom. No need for bag check. A post-race brunch. Talk about being spoiled. I'm not sure that any other race experience will ever compare.
The Outfits: Disney race participants are known for their rather inventive race apparel. From princesses to witches to frogs, you will see it all at the Disney Princess Half. Heather and I even saw someone running in a string bikini. We, on the other hand, were a little less adventurous, but fun, nevertheless.
A New PR: In 2010, I finished this course in 2:01:36. This year, I crossed the line in 1:57:06, a 4:30 course PR and a 56 second half marathon PR. While not what I was shooting for, a time I am very proud of considering the fact that less than 12 hours before the race I was vomiting at the expo and living on crackers and water (thanks Doodle for sharing your stomach bug!)
Celebrity Sightings: We were fortunate enough to hang out with Jeff Galloway (yes, that Jeff Galloway) post-race. He is a wealth of knowledge and perhaps the most approachable person I have ever met. And he makes one mean Jack Sparrow. I was truly honored to have had that opportunity.
We also got to spend time with Ethan and Jenna from Survivor. And thanks to that encounter, it looks like I will be running the NYC Marathon with Ethan and his foundation, Grassroot Soccer.
The Bad:
The temperature: It was a humid 61 degrees at the start. A good 10 degrees warmer than I would have preferred and 30 degrees warmer than I am used to running in. In my last few weeks of training, I have done 16 mile runs with no water. That was so not the case during the race. I was drinking from my handheld by mile 2.
The Early Wake-up: Disney races are EARLY. We boarded a shuttle for the race at 3:50 a.m. By the time I finished the race just before 8 a.m., I felt like I had been up for an eternity.
The Ugly:
Vomit: Did I mention that whole stomach bug thing? Yeah. Because that really sucked.
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 2/27/11
Temperature: A balmy 61 degrees at the start
Official Time: 1:57:06 (8:57 pace) for 13.1 miles
Garmin Time: 1:57:07 (8:51 pace) for 13.21 miles
Place in Age Group: 142/2365
Overall Place: 638/13091
The Good:
The Course/Atmosphere: I love this course. To begin with, it's simply magical. You start just outside of Epcot and run through the Disney property to the Magic Kingdom through Cinderella's castle and back through Epcot. When you add the scenery of this route with the on-course entertainment, atmosphere and support, and this course is hard to beat. Plus, Orlando is flat and with the exception of one hill at mile 12, so is this course. If you are looking for a fast time, this could be your race.
The VIP/Media Tent: As part of the Disney Princess Media Event, several other bloggers and I had access to the Media Tent before and after the race. No lines for the bathroom. No need for bag check. A post-race brunch. Talk about being spoiled. I'm not sure that any other race experience will ever compare.
The Outfits: Disney race participants are known for their rather inventive race apparel. From princesses to witches to frogs, you will see it all at the Disney Princess Half. Heather and I even saw someone running in a string bikini. We, on the other hand, were a little less adventurous, but fun, nevertheless.
A New PR: In 2010, I finished this course in 2:01:36. This year, I crossed the line in 1:57:06, a 4:30 course PR and a 56 second half marathon PR. While not what I was shooting for, a time I am very proud of considering the fact that less than 12 hours before the race I was vomiting at the expo and living on crackers and water (thanks Doodle for sharing your stomach bug!)
Celebrity Sightings: We were fortunate enough to hang out with Jeff Galloway (yes, that Jeff Galloway) post-race. He is a wealth of knowledge and perhaps the most approachable person I have ever met. And he makes one mean Jack Sparrow. I was truly honored to have had that opportunity.
We also got to spend time with Ethan and Jenna from Survivor. And thanks to that encounter, it looks like I will be running the NYC Marathon with Ethan and his foundation, Grassroot Soccer.
The Bad:The temperature: It was a humid 61 degrees at the start. A good 10 degrees warmer than I would have preferred and 30 degrees warmer than I am used to running in. In my last few weeks of training, I have done 16 mile runs with no water. That was so not the case during the race. I was drinking from my handheld by mile 2.
The Early Wake-up: Disney races are EARLY. We boarded a shuttle for the race at 3:50 a.m. By the time I finished the race just before 8 a.m., I felt like I had been up for an eternity.
The Ugly:
Vomit: Did I mention that whole stomach bug thing? Yeah. Because that really sucked.
Monday, February 14, 2011
double edged sword ...
I have always been a self-motivator. Usually, all it take for me to tackle everything that's thrown my way, is my desire to do so. I like accomplishments. I want to be able to say I've done this or that. No one else needs to hold me accountable. I will do that myself.
But being a self-motivator is a double edged sword. You see, self-motivators have drive. A lot of drive. In fact, sometimes, too much. And on occasion, being self-motivated can completely backfire.
Take this past week for example. It was a cutback week for me. 46 miles on the schedule (plus three days of P90X and five days of Ab Ripper X.) On Wednesday morning, I was on track. I had run 18 miles, cross-trained once and finished Ab Ripper X twice. Things looked good. Then, as we all know, on Wednesday night, I got a stomach bug. I missed one workout. Then another. But, by Thursday night, I was feeling better and decided to cross-train.
On Friday, I still wasn't feeling 100%, but things were manageable. That night, after the girls were in bed, I ran 6 miles AND cross-trained. I was making up for lost time. Trying to get back on track. I was being sabotaged by my own self-motivation.
Then Saturday came. And I could barely move. Friday night kicked my butt. So much so, that I decided to cut a 10 miler from my weekly schedule. it killed me to do it. It didn't matter that no one would ever know or care about that skipped run. I would. But, I knew wasn't strong enough to run. And I tried to be a logical thinker, which is incredibly hard when you are a runner first ...
With 10 miles already missed, I headed out on Sunday morning to meet G and some of the Posse. We had 12 on the schedule. But I knew from the beginning it was doomed. I wanted to believe that I was ready. And when we started, I really thought that I was. But a series of odd events from my Garmin freaking on me to missed turns to being told over a loud-speaker that (and I quote) "Your outfits are weird," started to lead me to believe otherwise.
(Note: Our outfits were not weird. See? Like I told G, "We're not weird. We're Skittles")
Anyway, by mile 4, I was feeling really "off." I knew we were making a drop-off at mile 6 and I decided to stop. Then I went home and slept for two and a half hours.
Ugh. 16 miles short this week. I have never missed mileage like that. I was so disappointed in myself. I pride myself in my strength and perseverance. And missing a third of my total mileage was a tough pill to swallow.
I know that sounds crazy and that I made the smart decision. But the thing about being Type-A is that you hold yourself to a very high standard. A standard that you probably wouldn't hold others to. I know this. And I know that missing 16 miles of a 700+ mile training plan is NOTHING. I know that it won't make a difference on race day. And I know that it was smarter to miss the runs now, in a cutback week, than during a peak week. But that doesn't make it any easier.
But being a self-motivator is a double edged sword. You see, self-motivators have drive. A lot of drive. In fact, sometimes, too much. And on occasion, being self-motivated can completely backfire.
Take this past week for example. It was a cutback week for me. 46 miles on the schedule (plus three days of P90X and five days of Ab Ripper X.) On Wednesday morning, I was on track. I had run 18 miles, cross-trained once and finished Ab Ripper X twice. Things looked good. Then, as we all know, on Wednesday night, I got a stomach bug. I missed one workout. Then another. But, by Thursday night, I was feeling better and decided to cross-train.
On Friday, I still wasn't feeling 100%, but things were manageable. That night, after the girls were in bed, I ran 6 miles AND cross-trained. I was making up for lost time. Trying to get back on track. I was being sabotaged by my own self-motivation.
Then Saturday came. And I could barely move. Friday night kicked my butt. So much so, that I decided to cut a 10 miler from my weekly schedule. it killed me to do it. It didn't matter that no one would ever know or care about that skipped run. I would. But, I knew wasn't strong enough to run. And I tried to be a logical thinker, which is incredibly hard when you are a runner first ...
With 10 miles already missed, I headed out on Sunday morning to meet G and some of the Posse. We had 12 on the schedule. But I knew from the beginning it was doomed. I wanted to believe that I was ready. And when we started, I really thought that I was. But a series of odd events from my Garmin freaking on me to missed turns to being told over a loud-speaker that (and I quote) "Your outfits are weird," started to lead me to believe otherwise.
(Note: Our outfits were not weird. See? Like I told G, "We're not weird. We're Skittles")
Anyway, by mile 4, I was feeling really "off." I knew we were making a drop-off at mile 6 and I decided to stop. Then I went home and slept for two and a half hours.Ugh. 16 miles short this week. I have never missed mileage like that. I was so disappointed in myself. I pride myself in my strength and perseverance. And missing a third of my total mileage was a tough pill to swallow.
I know that sounds crazy and that I made the smart decision. But the thing about being Type-A is that you hold yourself to a very high standard. A standard that you probably wouldn't hold others to. I know this. And I know that missing 16 miles of a 700+ mile training plan is NOTHING. I know that it won't make a difference on race day. And I know that it was smarter to miss the runs now, in a cutback week, than during a peak week. But that doesn't make it any easier.
Friday, February 11, 2011
what not to do when you've had the stomach flu ...
As you remember, on Wednesday night, I was hit with the stomach flu. It was the first time since I've been a parent (nearly six years) that I questioned my ability to take care of my children. I felt so horrible that I knew I wouldn't be able to much of anything. So, since J was heading out of town, I called upon my sister, who stepped up big time.
And thank God she did. Although I didn't vomit yesterday, I couldn't get out of bed. At one point, I needed to bring my laptop downstairs to charge and it took me an hour and a half to muster the energy to do so. Whenever I tried to sit up to drink something, the nausea set in. But the worst part wasn't actually feeling sick. It was feeling useless. I couldn't stand that my sister was taking care of everything and all I could do was sit there like a blob.
The thing is that I'm really not good with being unproductive. Lazy doesn't work for me. I wish it did. But, if I sit around for more than a few hours, I start going stir crazy. And being trapped in my bed for 20+ hours was just too long for me.
So, at around 4 p.m., I got out of bed. My sister wouldn't let me do much of anything, but it was better than sitting quarantined in my room. And that's when it started to happen. I started feeling better. Like a lot better. Moving around wasn't making me nauseous. I could eat. A little anyway. It seemed like this stomach bug was really a 24 hour thing.
At 7 p.m., once the girls were in bed, my sister left and I ran through my nightly routine. Made the girls lunch. Cleaned up the house. Started the laundry. I felt pretty much back to normal. Sure, I was only eating pretzels and drinking tea, but I figured I was all good. So, (and this is what you are going to yell at me for), I decided to workout. I put in the DVD for P90X Shoulders and Arms with Ab Ripper X.
I know it was stupid. And I know I should have been resting. But I was bored. And I felt OK. And really, it was fine until I got to Ab Ripper. And then, I wanted to punch myself in the face. I swear, sometimes I really don't think these things through ...
And thank God she did. Although I didn't vomit yesterday, I couldn't get out of bed. At one point, I needed to bring my laptop downstairs to charge and it took me an hour and a half to muster the energy to do so. Whenever I tried to sit up to drink something, the nausea set in. But the worst part wasn't actually feeling sick. It was feeling useless. I couldn't stand that my sister was taking care of everything and all I could do was sit there like a blob.
The thing is that I'm really not good with being unproductive. Lazy doesn't work for me. I wish it did. But, if I sit around for more than a few hours, I start going stir crazy. And being trapped in my bed for 20+ hours was just too long for me.
So, at around 4 p.m., I got out of bed. My sister wouldn't let me do much of anything, but it was better than sitting quarantined in my room. And that's when it started to happen. I started feeling better. Like a lot better. Moving around wasn't making me nauseous. I could eat. A little anyway. It seemed like this stomach bug was really a 24 hour thing.
At 7 p.m., once the girls were in bed, my sister left and I ran through my nightly routine. Made the girls lunch. Cleaned up the house. Started the laundry. I felt pretty much back to normal. Sure, I was only eating pretzels and drinking tea, but I figured I was all good. So, (and this is what you are going to yell at me for), I decided to workout. I put in the DVD for P90X Shoulders and Arms with Ab Ripper X.
I know it was stupid. And I know I should have been resting. But I was bored. And I felt OK. And really, it was fine until I got to Ab Ripper. And then, I wanted to punch myself in the face. I swear, sometimes I really don't think these things through ...
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Three Things Thursday, upset tummy edition
1. Yesterday at 5:30 a.m., I ran 6 miles. It was awesome and comfortable and we finished with a 8:56 average pace. Then at 9:40 a.m., I ran another 6 miles with IronJ and our strollers.
But that second run was different. Yes, it was windy. And yes, it was my second run in four hours. And yes, Dilly isn't the lightest child around. But, on a normal day, my running isn't really affected by those things. I could not move. I felt like I was shuffling. It took all of my will to keep going. And it really didn't help that Dilly yelled, "Stop running, please," during the ENTIRE run. We finished with a 9:28 pace, which left me feeling completely drained. I figured it was just a bad run but ...
2. At 7 p.m., I started vomiting. I felt "off" ever since that second run. I thought I was dehydrated or needed more food. Guess not. I probably should have known that I was getting sick when the thought of eating one of my birthday cupcakes ...
didn't sound appealing. Anyway, I spent the remainder of the night either in bed or hugging the toilet. It was bad. Seriously. I weigh 3.9 pounds LESS than I did yesterday morning. And it's not really getting any better. I feel OK as long as I don't stand up or move. Which is kind of hard when you have three children ...
3. But, thankfully, I have an AWESOME little sister who stepped up in my time of need. You see, J was scheduled to leave for Colorado early this morning and I knew I wasn't going to feel up to taking care of the girls. So, at 7:30 last night, I called Angie Pants (who lives 3 hours away in Baltimore) to see if she could take off work and come help me out. Fortunately, she could. She drove down late last night and is currently taking Dizzle to school. I owe her big.
But that second run was different. Yes, it was windy. And yes, it was my second run in four hours. And yes, Dilly isn't the lightest child around. But, on a normal day, my running isn't really affected by those things. I could not move. I felt like I was shuffling. It took all of my will to keep going. And it really didn't help that Dilly yelled, "Stop running, please," during the ENTIRE run. We finished with a 9:28 pace, which left me feeling completely drained. I figured it was just a bad run but ...
2. At 7 p.m., I started vomiting. I felt "off" ever since that second run. I thought I was dehydrated or needed more food. Guess not. I probably should have known that I was getting sick when the thought of eating one of my birthday cupcakes ...
didn't sound appealing. Anyway, I spent the remainder of the night either in bed or hugging the toilet. It was bad. Seriously. I weigh 3.9 pounds LESS than I did yesterday morning. And it's not really getting any better. I feel OK as long as I don't stand up or move. Which is kind of hard when you have three children ...3. But, thankfully, I have an AWESOME little sister who stepped up in my time of need. You see, J was scheduled to leave for Colorado early this morning and I knew I wasn't going to feel up to taking care of the girls. So, at 7:30 last night, I called Angie Pants (who lives 3 hours away in Baltimore) to see if she could take off work and come help me out. Fortunately, she could. She drove down late last night and is currently taking Dizzle to school. I owe her big.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
three things thursday, temperature edition ...
1. Dizzle, Doodle and Dilly all have fevers. And runny noses. And congestion. And wicked coughs. It's really not fun. (I've got the congestion and runny nose, too). And being the prepared mother that I am, I had ZERO Motrin or Tylenol or anything in the house when illness struck. I thought that maybe the girls could man up and make it until J got home from work, but by 10 a.m. yesterday morning, I knew that wasn't going to happen. Everyone was whiny. And Dilly was a cling-on. I couldn't do anything but hold her. Which makes taking care of everyone else kind of hard.
2. While the girls had me trapped in the house yesterday, it was a beautiful 72 degrees and sunny outside. A freakishly warm winter day. A perfect day for a run. But, like I said, we were in the middle of Feverfest 2011, so I'm sure you can guess how that turned out ...
3. I am ALWAYS cold. Seriously, just take a look at what I was wearing INSIDE my house yesterday.
Yes, that is a hoodie. And a ski cap. And there are two more shirts under the hoodie. And if we are being honest here, I was seconds away from throwing on a sweatshirt. I don't know what it is but, I really have a hard time regulating my body temperature or something. Or maybe I just prefer warmth. I could handle 90 degree temperatures EVERYDAY.
2. While the girls had me trapped in the house yesterday, it was a beautiful 72 degrees and sunny outside. A freakishly warm winter day. A perfect day for a run. But, like I said, we were in the middle of Feverfest 2011, so I'm sure you can guess how that turned out ...
3. I am ALWAYS cold. Seriously, just take a look at what I was wearing INSIDE my house yesterday.
Yes, that is a hoodie. And a ski cap. And there are two more shirts under the hoodie. And if we are being honest here, I was seconds away from throwing on a sweatshirt. I don't know what it is but, I really have a hard time regulating my body temperature or something. Or maybe I just prefer warmth. I could handle 90 degree temperatures EVERYDAY.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
follow your gut ...
Do you see this face?
This is the face of the adorable Dizzle, a little girl who has been running a high fever (103-105) since Thursday. A little girl who would still be running a fever if I hadn't trusted my gut.
On Friday, I took Dizzle to the doctor. Other than the fever, we couldn't really pinpoint what was wrong with her, but we (J and I) knew something was up. She was complaining about a stomach ache and leg pain every once in a while, but nothing that was stopping her from acting like a normal five-year-old.
When we got to the pediatrician's office, they did a battery of test, all with normal results. The doctor suspected a UTI, but would need 2-3 days for the results. Dizzle was to start antibiotics and I was to treat her fever, if necessary.
Over the course of the weekend, Dizzle didn't improve. She spent much of her time lying on the couch, not eating. She didn't seem to have worsening symptoms, but we just couldn't get the fever to break. Then on Monday, she woke up with a cough.
I decided to give her another day to rest. Her fever had slowly crept from 105 to 102 and I suspected that she was on the mend. But I was wrong, when Tuesday rolled around. Her cough was horrendous and her fever was back to 103. Back to the doctor. Again.
When we arrived at the doctor's office, I was getting the "crazy" looks. You know, the ones mothers get when they are freaking out over a paper cut. When the doctors all "know" it's just a virus and the mother thinks it's the Plague.
Anyway, they started by weighing Dizzle. She was down 1.5 pounds in four days. Right then, I knew something wasn't right. Then, they retested her for all of the things they looked for four days prior. No flu. No strep. No UTI.
With no clear diagnosis, they were about to give her a different medicine and send us on our way. That's when I said this ...
"Five day long fevers just don't happen. Her body is fighting something. We just have to figure out what. I had to bring her back to see what, because I would hate to miss something like, um, I don't know. Pneumonia."
The doctor looked at me and said, "Well, you know sometimes lung infections can present with stomach pain. Her lungs sound clear, but let's send you for a chest x-ray anyway. Go get it taken and go home. I will call you when her prescription is ready."
So, we went. Dizzle had her x-ray and I was about to leave. But then the x-ray technician came out and told us that we had to go back to the doctor's office. Fan-freakin-tastic!
We walked into the exam room and the first thing the doctor said to me was, "Did they tell you? You were right. She has PNEUMONIA."
Are you kidding me? That was a joke. Her lungs sounded fine. I could not believe it.
Before I knew it, three people were holding Dizzle down to give her two high-dose antibiotic shots in her legs. She was in complete freak out mode. It was sheer craziness.
But the real kicker was that if I hadn't pushed the issue and made them look deeper, we still wouldn't have a diagnosis and Dizzle would be chillin' on my couch with a 105 degree fever. And that's why you have to ALWAYS follow your gut ...
This is the face of the adorable Dizzle, a little girl who has been running a high fever (103-105) since Thursday. A little girl who would still be running a fever if I hadn't trusted my gut.On Friday, I took Dizzle to the doctor. Other than the fever, we couldn't really pinpoint what was wrong with her, but we (J and I) knew something was up. She was complaining about a stomach ache and leg pain every once in a while, but nothing that was stopping her from acting like a normal five-year-old.
When we got to the pediatrician's office, they did a battery of test, all with normal results. The doctor suspected a UTI, but would need 2-3 days for the results. Dizzle was to start antibiotics and I was to treat her fever, if necessary.
Over the course of the weekend, Dizzle didn't improve. She spent much of her time lying on the couch, not eating. She didn't seem to have worsening symptoms, but we just couldn't get the fever to break. Then on Monday, she woke up with a cough.
I decided to give her another day to rest. Her fever had slowly crept from 105 to 102 and I suspected that she was on the mend. But I was wrong, when Tuesday rolled around. Her cough was horrendous and her fever was back to 103. Back to the doctor. Again.
When we arrived at the doctor's office, I was getting the "crazy" looks. You know, the ones mothers get when they are freaking out over a paper cut. When the doctors all "know" it's just a virus and the mother thinks it's the Plague.
Anyway, they started by weighing Dizzle. She was down 1.5 pounds in four days. Right then, I knew something wasn't right. Then, they retested her for all of the things they looked for four days prior. No flu. No strep. No UTI.
With no clear diagnosis, they were about to give her a different medicine and send us on our way. That's when I said this ...
"Five day long fevers just don't happen. Her body is fighting something. We just have to figure out what. I had to bring her back to see what, because I would hate to miss something like, um, I don't know. Pneumonia."
The doctor looked at me and said, "Well, you know sometimes lung infections can present with stomach pain. Her lungs sound clear, but let's send you for a chest x-ray anyway. Go get it taken and go home. I will call you when her prescription is ready."
So, we went. Dizzle had her x-ray and I was about to leave. But then the x-ray technician came out and told us that we had to go back to the doctor's office. Fan-freakin-tastic!
We walked into the exam room and the first thing the doctor said to me was, "Did they tell you? You were right. She has PNEUMONIA."
Are you kidding me? That was a joke. Her lungs sounded fine. I could not believe it.
Before I knew it, three people were holding Dizzle down to give her two high-dose antibiotic shots in her legs. She was in complete freak out mode. It was sheer craziness.
But the real kicker was that if I hadn't pushed the issue and made them look deeper, we still wouldn't have a diagnosis and Dizzle would be chillin' on my couch with a 105 degree fever. And that's why you have to ALWAYS follow your gut ...
Monday, December 27, 2010
our Disney Christmas ...
Like I mentioned before my little hiatus, J and I surprised our girls with a trip to Disney for Christmas. When we loaded up the car early on the morning of the 15th, they didn't really know what to expect and we didn't really know how they'd react, so we videotaped it. Personally, I think the reaction we got was pretty funny. Dizzle freaked. Doodle cried (not because she was so happy, but because Dizzle figured it out first). And Dilly barely even noticed. Typical.
So, do you want to see it? Thought so. (Note: When Dizzle's guesses that we were going to see Katye, she meant Katye from Long Legs on the Loose. And watch the video of the end. The last thing Dizzle says makes me laugh every time.)
Good stuff, right?
Once we arrived in Orlando (we were also joined by my mom and sister, Angie Pants), our "relaxing" vacation became anything but. We spent almost every waking minute at the parks getting our fill of rides, shows, attractions and unhealthy foods. It was magical.
Over the course of our nine day trip we ...
Anyway, this trip reaffirmed a few things for us.
1. There is no question that Dizzle and Doodle are adrenaline junkies. They LOVED Tower of Terror, Big Thunder Mountain, The Haunted Mansion and Expedition Everest.
2. Dilly proved that she is an endurance athlete in the making. Her 23 month old legs WALKED the vast majority of the time.
3. J and I are big kids. We had as much, if not more fun than the girls.
4. I am done with giving the girls "things." I would MUCH rather give them these experiences. To show them the world and create memories that they will cherish for so much longer than some gift they unwrap on Christmas morning. And I know that if they really thought about it, they'd feel the same. Trust me. I saw their faces when they saw Cinderella's castle light up ...
So, do you want to see it? Thought so. (Note: When Dizzle's guesses that we were going to see Katye, she meant Katye from Long Legs on the Loose. And watch the video of the end. The last thing Dizzle says makes me laugh every time.)
Good stuff, right?
Once we arrived in Orlando (we were also joined by my mom and sister, Angie Pants), our "relaxing" vacation became anything but. We spent almost every waking minute at the parks getting our fill of rides, shows, attractions and unhealthy foods. It was magical.
Over the course of our nine day trip we ...
swam.
ate things like this (I did manage to run 37 miles to counteract these indulgences).
went on safari.
traveled by boat.
waited.
posed.
kept our kids up WAY past their bedtimes.
reconnected.
goofed around.
played.
played.
and played some more.
took the best family portrait ever.
Every second of our trip was amazing. Well, mostly. Those two days when Dizzle had a stomach bug and was puking here and there, kind of sucked (and yes, I am a horrible mother and filled her up on Pepto and Motrin and made her suck it up. And be honest. You'd probably would have done the same.)
ate things like this (I did manage to run 37 miles to counteract these indulgences).
went on safari.
traveled by boat.
waited.
posed.
kept our kids up WAY past their bedtimes.
reconnected.
goofed around.
played.
played.
and played some more.
took the best family portrait ever.
Every second of our trip was amazing. Well, mostly. Those two days when Dizzle had a stomach bug and was puking here and there, kind of sucked (and yes, I am a horrible mother and filled her up on Pepto and Motrin and made her suck it up. And be honest. You'd probably would have done the same.)Anyway, this trip reaffirmed a few things for us.
1. There is no question that Dizzle and Doodle are adrenaline junkies. They LOVED Tower of Terror, Big Thunder Mountain, The Haunted Mansion and Expedition Everest.
2. Dilly proved that she is an endurance athlete in the making. Her 23 month old legs WALKED the vast majority of the time.
3. J and I are big kids. We had as much, if not more fun than the girls.
4. I am done with giving the girls "things." I would MUCH rather give them these experiences. To show them the world and create memories that they will cherish for so much longer than some gift they unwrap on Christmas morning. And I know that if they really thought about it, they'd feel the same. Trust me. I saw their faces when they saw Cinderella's castle light up ...
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Three Things Thursday ...
1. Revenge of the Pinkeye - Remember last week when I posted that Doodle had been hit with pinkeye? Well, it seems that the eye of pink has taken permanent residence in our home. Dizzle was diagnosed with it on Monday and Doodle (after finishing both an oral and topical antibiotic) woke up all crusty again today. Seriously? Isn't one round enough? Dude, if this doesn't clear up soon, our Disney photos are going to be scary ...
2. Post Thanksgiving Immune Deficiency - Did you know that such a thing existed? Well, it does. For the past three years, I have gotten sick in the week following Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why, but it hits me pretty much immediately after Thanksgiving dinner and it hits me hard.
And because I am a runner first, logical thinker second, I have been running this week despite not feeling great. Yesterday was rough. I didn't know if I just lacked motivation or if my body was trying to tell me I needed a rest day. I hoped I was running low on motivation and headed out in 40+ mph winds with G, J, K and two strollers. Needless to say, sometimes I question our sanity.
3. San Francisco Stalking - Last January, G and I traveled to Bermuda for the Bermuda Half Marathon. It was a FANTASTIC girls' weekend and we decided that we wanted to make it an annual tradition. After much talk (of where we could stay for free), we decided to run the 2011 San Francisco Half Marathon. (Feel free to join us!)
Registration was supposed to open yesterday. So, like any sane person I stalked the website ALL DAY waiting for it to go live. But, it NEVER did. Apparently, there is some sort of technical glitch holding everything up. And although, I know the race probably isn't going to sell out on day one, I REALLY want to register. It makes it all official. And then, J can't change his mind about me going ...
2. Post Thanksgiving Immune Deficiency - Did you know that such a thing existed? Well, it does. For the past three years, I have gotten sick in the week following Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why, but it hits me pretty much immediately after Thanksgiving dinner and it hits me hard.
And because I am a runner first, logical thinker second, I have been running this week despite not feeling great. Yesterday was rough. I didn't know if I just lacked motivation or if my body was trying to tell me I needed a rest day. I hoped I was running low on motivation and headed out in 40+ mph winds with G, J, K and two strollers. Needless to say, sometimes I question our sanity.
3. San Francisco Stalking - Last January, G and I traveled to Bermuda for the Bermuda Half Marathon. It was a FANTASTIC girls' weekend and we decided that we wanted to make it an annual tradition. After much talk (of where we could stay for free), we decided to run the 2011 San Francisco Half Marathon. (Feel free to join us!)
Registration was supposed to open yesterday. So, like any sane person I stalked the website ALL DAY waiting for it to go live. But, it NEVER did. Apparently, there is some sort of technical glitch holding everything up. And although, I know the race probably isn't going to sell out on day one, I REALLY want to register. It makes it all official. And then, J can't change his mind about me going ...
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