When I woke up this morning, I looked in the mirror and thought to myself, "You know, for 22 weeks pregnant, you don't look half bad. Maybe all those people who keep telling you, 'You're all baby bump' are right. Maybe you don't look like a whale. Maybe you can be that pregnant woman other pregnant women are jealous of. (You know those super cute women who looks so good when knocked up that you want to slap them. Except that wouldn't be very motherly, would it?)."
But, then I was told that I was beginning to "waddle." Yes, waddle. Like a duck. Like a woman with many more weeks of pregnancy under her belt. Fan-Freakin'-Tastic!
That one, honest observation started to make me think ... What else have people (read: my ever-so-sweet friends) been lying to me about? Is everyone trying to protect my ego (and my rather emotional state) by telling me that, "It's all baby," "No, your a** doesn't look any bigger," "Trust me, you can't even tell in your face."
Right, I believe you. Seriously, I do. It's just that strangers are WAY more honest.
Honey, if Strangers are more HONEST then, DON'T raise your arms while you're pregnant because the cord could wrap around the baby! AND, I NEED to get Colleen's ears PINNED by a plastic surgeon because they're sticking out "quite a bit and otherwise she's a pretty girl"... I NEED Bo-TOX (HONEST TO GODDESS- I've been told that now, by an "honest" stranger), and... well, Gregory's a good looking kid. I guess he'll survive w/o anything major IF WE GET his TEETH FIXED.
Let's just stick with the truth here OK? You're all baby. You don't waddle. Strangers are stupid. That woman deserves to be flayed. Oh, and for sure, she's jealous. I bet SHE looked like a beached whale when she was 22 weeks pregnant. Have you looked in the mirror lately? Of course you have, you just said so. You're a gorgeous pregnant woman. Everyone who reads this blog who knows you agrees... gorgeous.
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