Wednesday, May 9, 2012

facing fears ...


It's a funny thing.

You can't hold it or see it. It has no shape or size. And it manifests itself differently to everyone.

The only constant with fear is that it can strike anyone. At anytime.

Over the years, I have had my fair share of fears. 
  • I have a fear of heights. 
  • I have a fear of my bike.
  • I have a fear of feeding livestock. 
  • I have a fear of flying.
  • I have a fear that history will repeat itself.
  • I have a fear that what seems like the right decision in the short term, might not be right for the long term.
  • I have a fear that I'll try and fail.
  • I have a fear that I'll try and succeed.
  • I have a fear that I won't be able to protect my children from everything I'd like to.
  • I have a fear that, like my own father, I won't be there to see my children as adults. 
Recently, that last fear seems to be been bothering me more than usual. There is something about observing other people's life and death experiences that makes you question your own mortality. That moment when you realize that you are not invincible, that you aren't immune to everything and that your life could also change in an instant.

It's easy to live your life in a bubble, ignoring what could or will be. It's safe there. There is no fear. I like that place. We all like that place.

But, is being comfortable enough? Maybe. Maybe not.

It's just that the more I think about it, it's not enough for me. I don't want my decisions to be dictated by a fear of the uncomfortable. I don't want to avoid change just because it might be a struggle.

From struggle comes greatness. And in that greatness, lies the moments you will cherish forever.

Fear, you've got nothing on me.


Kortni said...

Leaving that bubble gets harder and harder for me as my kids get older. Great words of wisdom this morning! Fear of feeding livestock...that is hilarious!

MCM Mama said...

The fear of success and the fear of not seeing my kids grow up are two of my big fears too. I spend a lot oftime with that little ball of worry tucked away, ignoring it while I constantly step out of my bubble.

Anonymous said...

Love this - I have a lot of the same fears as you do and it's super hard for me to let a lot of them go and just let things happen!

Amanda@runninghood said...

Agreed. "From struggle comes greatness". So glad I've faced so many fears in life. And I continue to let them out of the bag so I can face them. Great thoughts today Tonia.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes I live in fear, but mostly I live in the present and try to remember that fear holds you captive and I don't want to be a prisoner...

Mel -Tall Mom on the Run said...

I have an unhealthy fear of dying young...but I don't let it cripple me..

Love this post..

FYI I will be running Leg 11.. I FEAR that last run.. UGH!!

giraffy said...

Fear of feeding livestock?! Hilarious.

Fear is not the boss of you.

TNTcoach Ken said...

How true, although the livestock would starve if they waited on me......

ajh said...

A fear of feeding livestock??? It seems like this must be an easy one to live with.

I have a fear of snakes, debiliataitng illness for myself or my family.

Jason said...

Fear is not worth your time. You already live your life your way and I know you will continue to do so. Fear is not worth your time.

Katie said...

I FEAR the bike! My hubby wants me to do a sprint tri with him and it is not the open water swim that scares me, it is being on a bike!!

I fear success too. Such a strange fear, but there is a part of me that fears actually reaching "those goals."

Anonymous said...

Great post! I have huge fears and anxieties and it feels the older I get the worse it gets. Every day I tell myself to face my fears and when I do, I feel so mucher better and it wasn't that bad actually.Courage is to do something you are scared of.