Monday, April 14, 2008

there should be a warning label ...

For all of you who missed the memo on how constipation is evil ... read up. We need fiber!! Not only does it help to keep you full longer (hint, hint dieters), but it keeps you regular. Something that has eluded me my entire life. So in my feeble attempt to meet my (and my family's) fiber quota, I have become a HUGE Fiber 1 fan!! Seriously, I mean HUGE!! We are stocked up on three varieties of granola bars and cereal, as well as Apple Cinnamon Fiber 1 muffins.

I love the stuff. All of it. But come on, who forgot to put the warning label on the box? Listen to me now, and listen to me completely - No matter how tempted you are, and how much your children are asking for it, DO NOT by under any circumstances give your baby more than one serving of Fiber 1 in any 12 hour period ... they will explode!! Ok, well they won't literally explode, but you will be cleaning up one seriously messy poop. I learned this the hard way ... twice.

The first time Doodle had an apple cinnamon muffin, it resulted in a complete poop-explosion. But, at least that time it was contained (mostly) in her diaper. Incident number two was a completely different story. Due to my own stupidity, Doodle had two apple cinnamon muffins in less than 12 hours. What was I thinking? Ok, what I was thinking was, "If a little fiber is good, more is better!" So not true in toddlers!!

After said fiber overload, we gave Doodle a bath. When she was all clean, J called down to me to come get her and as I lifted her out of the tub it happened. The pressure of my hands on her stomach sent diarhhea all over the bathroom floor (and walls). Corn and black beans were everywhere! Oh and of course she wanted to crawl through the mess. I mean come on, who wouldn't? Then about three seconds after she erupted, we realized that Doodle had left Dizzle a present in the tub as well. Two jumbo-sized nuggets floating right on top! That ended the bathtime fun real quick.

And who had to clean the mess you ask? It was that idiot who fed the kid all the fiber in the first place. Oh, why couldn't there have been a warning label?


Anonymous said...

T - that is hilarious!! Send me the muffin recipe (with the warning label, of course!) I have to limit myself to one cup of Fiber One a day or I will clog the toilets in the house (tmi, i know!)

Vanessa @ Gourmet Runner said...

Haha, thanks for linking this! Sadly, it's less cute when it happens to a grown woman in my case! Too funny!