I'm going to admit it. At times, I can be judgmental (and I am quite positive that most everyone else is too).
It's not like I care what you are wearing. Or how you've styled you hair. I don't think twice about whether your designer bag is real or a knock-off. I'm just not into things like that.
I don't think you are a bad parent because you can't get your child to stop screaming when you are in the middle of the department store (I've been that person). And I almost never assume that bad service at a restaurant is solely the fault of the server (it almost never is).
But, I almost always pass judgement of others' food choices when I'm standing in line at the grocery store. I know, it's a dumb thing to get worked up about. But, it infuriates me.
When I see the checkout belt filled with processed junk and soda and candy and void of fresh foods, I want to grab the person in front of me and scream, "THIS IS NOT HOW YOU NEED TO FUEL YOUR BODY!"
And the only thing that bothers me more, is when they are shopping with their children. Buying (and then eating) all that crap doesn't teach the next generation how to be healthy individuals. As adults, especially parents, we need to LEAD BY EXAMPLE. We need to halt and then reverse the epidemic of obesity. Not encourage it.
It's really not more expensive to eat whole, fresh foods. Think about it? How much does your morning coffee drink (filled with sugar and fat) cost? $3-4, right? Well, for $3-4 you could get 2-3 pounds of apples. That's a heck of a lot more filling than a 16 oz coffee drink.
And just like eating healthy doesn't mean spending a fortune, the cost of exercising (equipment, gear, memberships) is actually SMALLER than the cost of being obese and unhealthy.
I can't think of a single valid argument for living an unhealthy life.
You don't have to by junk. You CHOOSE to.
It's not that you don't have time to exercise. You CHOOSE not to MAKE time.
It's not that you CAN'T. It's that you WON'T.
The power is in your hands.
I take charge of that power EVERY SINGLE DAY and I want to help others to do the same. That's why I became a group exercise instructor. And then a running coach. And now a Beachbody coach.
I CHOOSE to be healthy.
I CHOOSE to exercise.
I CHOOSE to eat well (most of the time).
I CHOOSE to be an example for my children.
I CHOOSE to support the people around me.
I CHOOSE to be the best me possible.
And you can too.
51 comments:
could not have said it better!!! I recently was behind a women who was mad that Wic did not pay for the cheese puffs her toddler was already eating....ummm really?
I COMPLETELY agree. It drives me crazy to see that at the grocery store. AH! Now I'm all worked up.
Absolutely LOVE this. And actually, our grocery bill was cut almost in HALF when we switched to eating 75% raw. Find a farmer's market and you can get your produce MUCH fresher and MUCH cheaper. There's no excuse, monetarily, to not eat healthier.
Totally agree. THe grocery store drives me crazy...last time I was there a guy and his kid were ahead of me and I honestly don't think I saw one whole food in their cart - pop, hot dogs, white bread, other frozen stuff.
It was sad and .... pathetic actually.
Great post! People love to make excuses. My sister is well educated, eats relatively healthy and then feeds her kids junk - velvetta cheese, processed chicken nuggets, pop-tarts, canned fruit, etc... When I ask her about it, she says it's the only thing they will eat. I am not a parent, so I can't speak from expereince but I am betting if they get hungry enough, the kids will eat an apple and peanut butter if the potato chip snack isn't around. We have to set good examples.
Well said! Personally I cannot stand the eating healthy is too $$ excuse. It's a BAD HABIT and a flimsy defense. We all have the same 24 hours in a day to work with. It's a CHOICE.
I completely agree. I have a friend that will feed her children (2 and 4) McD's because she says its the only thing they will eat....SERIOUSLY. My daughter started eating veggies and fruits and whole grain bread as soon as she could and to this day she will ask for an apple over cookies. She knows what is healthy and what isn't. She will tell her friends at school that their lunch isn't healthy.....LOL Sure she is able to have a treat every once in awhile BUT she appreciates those treats so much more. I am so proud to be raising a healthy conscious child and hopefully she will take that into her future!
I agree with you, but at the same time, people reading your blog are all people that already agree to a healthier lifestyle, no? I feel like (fortunately?) here it's a wasted post, because it's not reaching the audience it needs to be reached -- the people that need to change!
oh, i totally and wholeheartedly agree. just yesterday, i was in line at target and noticed a mom with her young daughter (12 or 13). in their cart, asides from high fructose corn syrup and yellow #5, were 5 packs of "coke zero". needless to say, the 'zero' in this coke product does not appear to be helping the mom, or the daughter, in their calorie consumption. i was mad at the mom for making these choices, and simultaneously sad for her daughter as she is learning a lifetime of habits to undo when she reaches adulthood. i struggle with feeling judgmental in sitautions like this, so it's nice to find some solace and comaraderie in your post; to know that even as i embrace my family's journey of living whole and healthy, there are others (you) who see things through the same lens. so, thanks.
I actually think it costs more to eat healthy, fwiw. I still choose to eat more healthy foods, but realistically if I fed my kids Mac n cheese instead of chicken breasts it would cost less. Pop costs less than milk. You can find cheap food that's "bad" more easily than cheap food that's healthy, well for sure here in Alberta where I live. Farmers markets are only in summer and are not cheap. Long term those cheap bad foods are obviously more costly, but I sure as heck realize that I could save money if I cared less what I ate.
You are such a motivator!! Seriously. I read in a book once someone's argument against the processed foods being cheaper than fruits and veggies. Her thoughts were, "It's your body and health. Can't you stand to spend a little more?" True statement. I love how much my girls love fruits and veggies! We may not eat great all the time, but if we swing through a drive thru, Addy gets all bent out of the shape if they give her fries instead of fruit cups.
That drives me nuts too! Although I gotta say it sucks when you are looking to buy something like lean meat, and the higher % lean it is the higher the price goes :( I understand why it costs more.. but it still sucks. Lately instead of buying super $$ 99% lean ground turkey, I just buy skinless chicken breasts and grind them at home myself after trimming all the fat off. More time consuming, sure thing, healthier and was less $$ yup! :)
I fully admit that I have a little private chuckle every time I see someone who is obviously overweight walk by with a cart full of chips, pop, sugary snacks, and processed frozen dinners.
The ONLY reason I know of for any type of conscious choice to eat so much processed food is short term finances - the government subsidized processed foods. That's why it's cheaper to buy a mountain of chips than a few pieces of fruit.
Either way though, they'll end up paying the doctor the difference and more down the road.
I agree. It's pretty much common sense to eat healthy and make sure you eat your veggies but our society has been caught up in this unhealthy way of life for soo long that they should make it mandatory for all parents to take a nutrition course.
Most kids will not volunteer to eat veggies. At times you must step up to the plate and enforce the rule of authority as a parent. Parents must lead by example. I am trying not to use the cliche; do as I say and not as I do. We are our childrens first and most important role models.
A-freakin-men Tonia!!
It is a choice. A choice of what you eat. A choice to exercise.
I love the "I don't have time excuse too". What? No time to walk for 30 mins but you have time to watch TV for 2 hours and eat chips??
I've been on both sides of the fence on this one too so...
Agreed.
While I don't buy ALL whole foods and there are sometimes processed foods in my cart at the grocery store the bulk of the food in my house is healthy (fresh fruit/veggies and lean proteins). Heck, I'm the mom who refuses to let my kids eat school lunch more than one time a week and I cringe at that! I do the same as you at the store. It kills me when I see people with carts full of chips, soda, cookies, frozen pizzas, hot dogs and NO single fruit or veggie. What bugs me even more is when people brag about all their savings doing the whole coupon thing BUT the only crap they buy is processed garbage. Um, yeah I'd save a bazillion dollars a year on my grocery bill if I shopped and ate that way BUT I'd spend twice as much on new clothes (because our waistlines would definitely increase) and doctor bills.
The ONE thing I cherish the most (as far as bills go) is my gym membership. Any time we have to consider a budget cut in the household I always tell hubby we can cut that out and that is the ONE thing he says will not go. It's for the health of the entire family (my kids go too!).
I'm always bothered by excuses,e ven though I have been guilty of making a few of my own. No excuses, Just Do IT!
Kids learn so much more by what they see us DO (and eat!) than by what we say. It is sad how many kids are basically poisoning themselves with horrible diets and inactivity. I know the misery that lifestyle brings.
You are awesome!!
This is a great post - thank you! I really needed to hear this today. I need to look at food as fuel and not something to make me "feel better." Thank you and I am going to check out your coaching site too! :)
Amen! When we eat healthy foods we get more nutrients and become full faster on healthy food.
We were that family who bought the crap, but when I decided to change my life and start living, it has helped my whole family.
I used to work at a gas station and people would use food stamps to buy junk food and then buy $50 worth of smokes and beer. That ticked me off!
I really enjoyed this post today.
It is frustrating, but every person has a choice. I feel bad for the kids too. Just this weekend saw a mother buying tons of Lunchables for her kid. YUCK.
I guess you can only hope the kid gets older and then chooses to eat healthy as an adult on their own. It's sad though.
I agree on the cost too. Real food is more filling so in the long run I believe you eat less. Eat less = less money.
Argh. YES! I have this argument regularly on a message board I frequent. Every few weeks, the SAME people mope around about how fat they are or how they want to get in better shape. Every few weeks, they're "getting ready to start!" some new diet, or lose weight fast madness. Every few weeks, there's a new excuse why they can't.
We spend $75-$50 a week for a family of 5 for groceries. In SoCal, that's almost unheard of. But we have access to amazing farmers markets, with CHEAP, fresh produce every weekend. There's NO excuse not to eat well here! It's just lazy, and it seriously annoys me.
One chick I met on that board that lives locally, we used to meet with another girl, to walk and then maybe hang out with a beer. That chick has tried EVERY diet known to man. She sticks with it for a few days, then bails. Has she tried simply CLEAN, healthy eating? Nope. She says it's too expensive. Really? I bet it's less expensive than eating Atkins (gross) steak and bacon. She says she can't lose weight because she can't find a gym she likes - she is always joining some gym, signing up for some fitness class, then dropping it. Get off your ass and walk! Walking is free! She says it's too expensive. Really? I bet its less expensive than the constant MRI's and chiro appointments you say you NEED because you're so heavy it effects your back.
Ugh. This totally gets me riled up too. It's all about just personal responsibility. People are lazy.
I just read the WIC comment. Yes, I used to be a cashier and it drove me nuts the moms who wanted to get Kraft cheese slices or wanted to get Froot Loops under WIC.
Not ALLOWED! They would try to fight it too. Um, NO.
The other thing that comes to mind is health. If you eat crap it could be argued cheaper, (ie. the comment about mac and cheese.) But at what cost? A poor diet will catch up and create health problems that in turn will cost more money. It's a Catch-22.
AMEN! Last Monday I accidently went grocery shopping on the 1st of the month (welfare checks come out then). It's a crazy day in the supermarket with less-than-pleasant people. Beyond that, I was waiting to check out and there was several families (all overweight) in front of me... I couldn't help but notice the 10 huge jugs of sugar-drinks, piles of frozen pizzas, chips and other junk food in their carts. And then they pulled out their LINK card... and I had to laugh in disgust a bit. It's taxpayer (MY!) money that is buying this junk for them. As much as I don't want the government monitoring what we buy, the thought of "how can we monitor this?" crossed my mind. It's such a problem in our society...
I think Irunyourun said it best...everyone here is probably healthy and going to agree with you! :)
i will say I have one caveat...I am a whole foods girl, but my husband is a grown adult who loves lucky charms, frozen pizza and chef boyarde... he's active and healthy and so if that is what he wants then I can do my best to keep trying to influence him but it's his choice.
I know that if we had kids, I would probably put my foot down because I wouldn't want those things in the house or for the kids to think that is a way to eat, but it's just us right now.
I totally agree with you, at least with those that I see shopping in my local grocery store.
That being said, there are people out there who don't choose to eat like they eat. It's because there are actually places in inner cities where fresh foods just aren't available.
I live in Baltimore, and I was talking to my friend who is a teacher and works in inner city Baltimore during her summers off. The program also gets together inner city kids to do work on housing and other areas that need to be fixed up - to give them something to do when they're not in school. As part of the program they brought lunches for the kids. The kids were AMAZED to see REAL APPLES. They asked if the apples were real. They were shocked. They loved them, and ate them all up and some of them had never seen them before. Grocery stores are non-existent and inner city folks have to shop at these little mini mart type places that only stock canned vegetables and fruits, many of which are old or not good. Their choices are limited and it's not fair.
Then, even in non-impoverished areas, the sounds of advertising are so much louder in peoples' lives than the sounds of nutrition. People think 'healthy' is Special K or sugary yogurts. My husband didn't used to like vegetables as much because he'd never eaten them prepared in an appetizing way. There are just so many reasons that people make the choices that they make. I could go on forever.
Anyway, I agree that it is frustrating, but I don't know what to do about it.... More apples for kids, I suppose.
Such an important topic here! I've felt similar feelings and it is frustrating for sure. I think it is going to have to start with education. Most people know that this isn't "health" food but so many people just eat like that because they really don't know how to eat and it is overwhelming for them so they just eat the way they were fed and it continues to be a horrible gross cycle. I'm always shocked to hear that people think American cheese is really one of the main food groups. ha! Or that Ramen noodles and cheese puffs covers your grain and dairy intake. Ha! I don't see a ton of people who eat like this when I shop since I shop at New SEasons, Trader Joes or Whole Foods. I also see less of this here in the NOrthwest then I do if I visit my relatives in the south. Such an important topic here and I agree, such a crock when people say they can't "afford" to eat healthy. It can be a bit more expensive to eat fresh and healthy but I say it is worth eating "less" and getting "more" of the good stuff. I'm thankful for more of an awareness about this stuff ...even in the schools they are starting to change the way they feed the kids and educate them about food. Still a long way to go though. I wrote my "fired up" post on a similar issue (obesity in America) after a visit to the doctor's office and being surrounded by overweight people eating crap while they waited for their meds to be filled. It got some really interesting responses: http://runninghood-amanda.blogspot.com/2011/01/wake-up-americans-obesity-diet-and.html
Great post today!
I agree with what you are saying.
The only issue I take is the cost factor. It is cheaper to feed your family less nurtionally sound choices. The people who are having trouble making the ends meet that I am talking about are not drinking $4 coffees. The "dollar menu" at those places I know you don't go to (which does have better options) is pretty easy to fall back on.
As for some of the WIC/Assistance comments, may people (myself included) have been in circumstance to USE those services. I didn't attempt to get sugary cereals instead of my milk, fruits and cheese. That helps afforded me some more nutritionally sound food choices. Because really all foods have nutritional value it's a matter of knowing or educating yourself to know which ones fill the needs of your family. A child's needs are different from your elderly-live-in parent, let's say. But no food is without some value. Again for me it's about moderation and inclusion (of course a diet of cheese puffs is not what I'm talking about).
I was poor. Not just young and starting out, I was POOR with a child to take care of. (yes I "made" my circumstances by marrying and having children young and then divorcing) I was working multiple jobs (4 at one point) and did not "go after" my exhusband for child support. So I have lived "that" life.
Even though one of my jobs was as a trainer at a gym and I knew the better chooses, I all too often gave into the financial constrants of my then-current situation.
It is a choose to stay within those limits which I did not however it took time to change my circumstances. It takes years to change habits. We are still working on them. I honestly feel for people who live as I did and they THINK they can't find a better way...and they WANT to.
I agree. It erally irratates me when I see parent(s) buying horrible foods with/for their childrenand nothing healthy. I see it al the time. And, I just want to take their kids away. People need licsence to have childrena dn one of the tests (and routine check ups) is what to properly feed their kids.
I agree. But I do think it's OK to indulge in those junky foods every once in a while.
We were at the park yesterday, and it was sad to see a lot of very young and very overweight children -- all from the same family. I know there are exceptions to every rule, but when all of your children have stomachs hanging over their bikini or swim trunk bottoms, I think it's time to take a look at your grocery list. :(
Shelley, love what you say here. This is such a bigger issue than just making a choice...it really does come down to finding more ways to helping people, educating them , and empowering them to make better choices and believe that they can make those changes in their life. And yes, I do agree that it costs more to eat healthier. Overall it does. There are many people in inner cities that can't even see how they are going to get through the day let alone thinking about changing the way they have been eating their entire lives...hard to break habits like this in general...an even harder when you are facing poverty, survival, etc. But I know that that is not exactly what Tonia is referring to here.
And @ irunyourun: even though so many of us like-minded people are reading this, this topic is never a "wasted post"...it is just another way that we are getting our world thinking about this important issue that affects all of us! The more people like us that get fired up, the more likely it is that we are doing things to make changes...finding programs to educate, reaching out to our community to start organizations that help people learn about better food choices and healthy living...it is so much more than a wasted post...it got me fired up. It is what we choose to do with this that matters...How will we HELP this situation. Gee, I should just write another blog since apparently I already have just with my comments here.
I admittedly make the same judgments. I was actually thinking about it yesterday as I watched the people in front of me and behind me in line (both with kids)unload cookies, chips and soda. And not just one bag/box/bottle of each (because who doesn't buy it from time to time?), but multiple packages of each. A couple of months ago, I was putting my groceries onto the conveyor belt and the guy in line behind me, who was standing with his approximately 10-year old son, jokingly asked if I'd bought enough produce. I would say over half of my cart is produce every week. I laughed somewhat uncomfortably and eyed his bag of Cheetos and bottle of soda and wondered when it became such an odd sight to see people buying fresh food. I don't eat perfectly. I love cupcakes and cookies and no food is totally off-limits in our house. However, I'd rather buy them when we're out as one-off treats. I don't see why I need to buy a pack of six, when one on occasion will do.
Yeah, I totally agree. I get so sad when I see carts full of soda and sugar filled juices, processed snacks, etc all for the kids. Kids eat whatever you give them and so you are so right, it starts with you.
What good does it do to judge! NOTHING!!
You don't know what they get else where....you don't know that I am a member of a CSA and have a huge box of fresh frutis and veggies at home. You don't know if I buy an organic cow and have it at home. Or just stopped at a local farmers market to get other stuff. I don't buy fruits and veggie's in the store as I supportour local farmers - so judging me well is a llittle short sighted.
There is so little you can truley tell from someones grocery cart - seriously since there are so many ways to get groceries!
I agree with Kim - For those of us who live in an area with access to actual grocery stores and have cars to tote everything home. Eating healthier is a "choice". But like Kim said - there are areas of the country where people only have access to small stores and tons of fast food restaurants. If they wanted to go to an actual grocery store they need to get on a bus, travel to the store and then lug it all home. This adds up in both time and money. The people in these areas also do not have access to the fancy gyms or even a YMCA. And walking isn't always free - it may cost them their lives. I am the first to admit I have a choice and I DO NOT eat healthy. But I do what I can and avoid the obvious pitfalls. It's just not fair to say "everyone has a choice" because that is not the case.
I wanted to add....you know you JUDGING someone is a big turn off....this is coming from someone who has lost almost 80lbs and knows what is like to be judged. Also it took ME realizing I needed to make a change for the better to make the change. Having people judge me just made me fell worse about myself and guess what EAT more. There are ways to educate others without judging them and I have found that a more effective approach to help people who WANT to be helped to change there eating habits. But that person has to WANT to change.
AMEN!!!!!!!! And then paying for it with a food stamp debit card to boot!
When I was walking into Walmart yesterday, I was watching a man load his groceries into his car. HE. WAS. HUGE. I couldn't see what was in his grocery sacks, but I saw him loading cases and cases of soda. That alone pissed me off enough as it was, but then his kid came around from the side of the car where I could see him, too. This kid couldn't have been over 4 years old and had his daddy's exact same physique--as wide as he was tall. So sad.
Wow, this is a great post and the comments and conversation that it inspired is excellent as well. It is definitely not as simple as it should be to get healthy fresh foods when you struggle financially in this country. Hopefully that will improve with time and greater awareness. My sister and her family truffle to make ends meet but healthy local eating is a priority for them. As a result they grow a lot of their own food from seed and do "trades" with neighbors and people in their community. There are ways to make things work when you have the awareness and the desire to do it. That is our choice though. I also know plenty of super-wealthy people who don't seem to care at all about where there food comes from or what is in it. We all have to make our own choices, educate ourselves and our families and encourage healthy habits by example. Great post, T!!!
Ok I hate spell correct on my phone! My sister and her family struggle financially, not truffle. Incase you were confused by that one! Ugh. Sorry!
You probably wouldn't like my grocery store trolley but that's because I choose to get all my fruit and veg from a farmer's market - fresher and cheaper so I can buy way more.
So true. I'd rather throw out things that I make at home than have my kids eat processed or prepared foods from the groceries. I let them pick one thing each trip - saves all the screaming.
I totally agree...though I don't think it's necessarily bad to treat yourself with a LITTLE treat that you might not normally indulge in every now and then.
I have a friend at work and she is constantly complaining and seeing doctors for being fatigued, having GI problems, sleep problems, etc. I saw what she was eating one day and I honestly wasn't surprised that she was feeling that way. Her lunch consisted of a Hot Pocket, a can of peaches (in syrup), and a Fun Dip. I know how much money she makes and it's not a matter of what types of food she can afford. I honestly don't think she's making the connection of "crap in=crap out".
well-stated and I would assume the majority of your readers agree. Shop the outside aisles people! We are getting fatter, choose to make a change!
Obesity is the new norm
When I came to the states 6 years ago, I was shocked about the eating habits in the US. Don't get me wrong, I go to fast food restaurant as well, but it's random. Here it seems going to the farmer's market is something extra ordinary... unfortunately.
geez hope you aren't ever in line behind me when I am getting treats for camping or party. I think grace and compassion is a good thing to offer. If you see that same person again and again...then maybe you I would think differently. All about balance.
Amen Sister! I love an indulgence as much as the next guy, but it pains me to see families loading the entire cart with nothing but JUNK!
I've read all the comments and I keep refreshing the page to see if any new ones pop up. Hopefully someone will respond to this one.
My question for you is, How did you change your mentality to where it is today? I remember reading posts about how you used to eat fast food for meals and see food as comfort, etc.
Since you're so adamantly against unhealthy eating choices now, how did you get to the point where you made the change? Was it your kids?
I'm definitely in the minority of your readers because I DO think it's cheaper to eat crap. And I HATE to cook/prepare meals. So do I know it's wrong to pop a $3 Kashi frozen dinner in the microwave? Yes, but I do it. Do I know it's even worse to eat half of a $3 package of oreos and call it dinner? Yes, but it tastes better than chicken breasts and steamed broccoli.
Do I want to change my eating habits (and even lose weight)? Yes.
I'm not asking this in a hateful way - I'm asking because I want to have the same come-to-Jesus with myself...How did you get from eating fast food to loathing people who do it?
There are some very elitist comments on this post. It's not okay to refer to obese people whose groceries are not up to your standards as disgusting and pathetic. It's not okay to laugh at overweight people because they have unhealthy food in their cart.
I agree with Christina, Courtney, H Love, Jen, jnoldfather.
We shouldn't make snap judgments without knowing the full story. I agree that some situations may be painfully obvious, but still, we just shouldn't judge. Ask questions, offer assistance? Yes, if the recipient is willing. But judge? Not me, thanks. I've been judged before b/c someone made an assumption about me (haven't we all been at the sharp end of this stick at one point or another?) and was truly hurt to learn later that what that person assumed about me could have been corrected with a simple question to me and the opportunity for me to respond.
What would you rather pass on to your kids: eating habits that aren't too tough to change (see all the successful weight-loss bloggers), or an elitist, judgmental mindset that never goes away? I'd rather have an overweight child than one who thinks he's better than everyone else, one who thinks he's fit to pass judgment on everyone. For the record, my little guy is super lean and loves Brussels sprouts, spinach, and all things healthy. I guess I'm just upset that people here only seem to be disgusted by obese people with unhealthy things in their carts - it's okay for thin people to be unhealthy, but it's disgusting and pathetic when obese people do it.
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